Pam from Lilka

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam, I have been reading all your posts for a long time. This one

is a keeper. I sent Francisco's article to my whole family and to my

friends. He seems to speak for us. But you have also spoken for me

in your post. You know I wrote my dissertation on fat and sex so I

had to do a lot of research on both topics. But your post and

Francisco's tell us so much about our pain in being fat. Just take

away all the happiness of today and you will find the actual agony

in yesterday. It can be obvious and it can be subtle. But it is in

us due to a society that puts us down in every way. Now I watch so

many people here coming out like a blossom from their deep shells of

pain. I also am emerging when I never thought I would. But these

pains we carry and hide are deep and when we can shed them, we can

emerge into our true selves. When we see how people come out in so

many ways, then we know that we were always like that, beautiful,

gracious, kind, confident,sexual, radiant, etc. It was always the

fat that did this to us or the terrible culture around us, our

parents, our friends, the media, the whole world. But inside, we

were always that beautiful. I feel so sorry about this. I never

wanted the surgery because I thought I was beyond the pain of my

image. I had the surgery because of my health. But now I see there

is so much of me that was hiding behind, not my fat, but my

vulnerable self-image that could not be seen. I thank you so much

for your wonderful honesty and deep sharing. With love, Lilka