window of opportunity, mechanical problem, failure, or what?...

[Guest guest]

WARNING - THIS IS LONG -

I have pondered long & hard about whether I would post this. I often

have difficulty talking about a problem/issue while it is happening.

I tend to discuss it once it is more resolved. Just how I am.( & to

think I am a shrink - LOL) However, I have been helped so

tremendously by questions & comments from others, I decided it would

help to share.

Some of you who know me from the boards I occasionally post to may

remember that I had my surgery 2 1/2 yrs ago, lost rapidly the first

9 months or so & then stopped. For over a year & a half I went up &

down the same 8 pounds. I didn't even break 200 until late spring of

this year & I am sure it is because of my protein feasts. I had

nearly accepted that I was through. Don't misunderstand, yes, there

has been moments of complacency, but generally I am so focused. Even

last year I trained for 6 months for the Honolulu marathon running 2-

3 mornings a week plus long runs on Sat that were minimum of 5-6

miles to 20 miles.

I have always done 4- 5 protein shakes a day from the time I " met "

& she educated me about protein. In the early spring I had

slacked off to 2 shakes maybe ocasionally 1 but that was for a few

months. I am faithful with my vit & min, water. I rarely dump. Not

that I am so good - I don't like sweets very much, never have - so

when I have dumped it was usually by accident (eating papaya which

gave me the dump from hell - was really wishing for death). The

papaya dump happened after I was 1 1/2 yrs out. A couple of other

dumps - again eating something that i totally didn't expect to have

that reaction.

I have always been a protein eater. Love meats, chicken, & fish.

My meals consists mainly of that, some veggies, once in a while

potatoe or rice or pasta, but very, very rarely. I also can eat

soooo much more than I once could - though not 1/10 of pre wls.

Over a year ago I suspected something was wrong. My surgeon said it

was me & I should " diet " - eat 2 meals a day of broiled meat &

veggies & exercise. Well, that was while I was training for the

marathon. Did I mention that I was also cross training 3 days a week?

As I saw the posts here & on the grad list about SLD, revisions,

proximal vs distals,windows of opportunity, etc, I began to privately

email others who mentioned revisions & issues similar to mine.

Asking them what made them have them, what was their process in terms

of how did they know to go this route. had suggested on

several occasions I get scoped but my surgeon seemed to think that my

questions some how accused him of doing a poor surgical job. He

never said this, it is just how he responded to my questions about

the possibility of something being wrong, sld, or whatever. When I

asked him if I could have an SLD he said " IMPOSSIBLE " - well - I

wasn't transected. He said it was me.

I decided my life had changed so radically for the better, I needed

to praise God for all that He had done in my life & move on. But it

kept nagging me. Since my surgeon stopped responding to me, I

contacted the program through which I originally had my surgery &

told the program manager my concerns & she immediately suggested a

scope & even said I needed to look at being bypassed more &

transected.

It was the first time I didn't feel crazy. I never told my hubby

much about this, but when I did he asked me, " what does your real

doctor say? " I knew immediately he meant our own Vitalady. I told

him she had said she'd wish I'd come there for a consult. He said,

then why don't we go there. We trust her & she has never

steered " us " wrong. He said you are so healthy because of the

mentoring she gave you. He also said why would you go to some doc we

know nothing about? Now mind you, he has never read an email from

her nor spoken to her. I then called her & had a wonderful,

encouraging talk from our own Vitaguy. It was so wonderful to be

validated & not made to feel crazy. I then had a wonderful

encouraging talk with (who by the way has enough on her

plate without my junk crowding in - sorry - didn't realize this at

the time).

So, I have an appt with Dr. Oh on Aug 8 to be scoped & a consult &

then advised as what I should do. I am beginning to believe that for

me a proximal just isn't enough. For those that it has worked for, I

am happy, but I think I need more.

I don't know how to tell you all how relieved I am. It wasn't that I

felt as if I failed, cause I know if I never lose another pound, I

have won. But I just can't settle. I have come too far, fought too

hard to not go all the way.

So, my daughter's wls surgery is July 29. I will go to Atlanta to be

with her, come home for 6 days & head to WA.

I just ask for your prayers. Lord knows I do not want another

surgery for the rest of my life (my wls was my 3rd abdominal surgery -

I know it is far less than some have had to endure), but I did

develop a hernia, so since they gotta go in there I may as well get

fixed completely - even TT if doc Oh says it is feasible.

So you WA folks, maybe I'll get to meet some of you in a couple of

weeks. Can't figure out how to get this all done - I start teaching

grad school again in Sept, Treasure (my daughter who is having wls)

is also getting married in Oct. & I do have a private practice to

run. & only God knows what the insurance company is gonna do.

Anyway, sorry this was so long but it was weighing on me. I was

trying to decide where to post this & decided I'd just cross post it

to the 3 boards I am on. Sorry if it is resundant for some of you.

Thanks for listening (see that's what happens when people hold stuff

in too long. My clients who do that end up needing a couple of

double sessions for a couple of weeks - LOL)

Lorraine