Re: Nice to see you

[Guest guest]

Hi, Lilka -

I know I'm pre-op, so I don't have the same depth of experience the

posties have in this. . . but it sounds to me like what you're asking

for isn't really anything to do with food, but rather for a sense of

certainty and security.

Rules are funny things. They tell us what we can and can't do, and we

fight against them, but they also make the world seem more manageable

and safer and more secure. As long as there are rules, then if we

follow the rules we're doing what we should and if things don't work

out right it's not our fault. Without rules, it's scary; it's easy to

make mistakes and hard to know what to do.

However, the real world isn't neat and tidy. Sometimes you have to know

the general principles and then apply them in ambiguous situations.

That's true for children learning to deal with moral issues in a

complex world, and it's true for WLS patients learning to deal with

food. Each person's body is a little different. One person can

tolerate cheese but beef makes her sick; another person can eat eggs

one day but a week later finds they make him queasy. And each person

will lose weight at a different rate.

You've come a long way already. You're making huge changes in your

life. Don't force yourself to fit into someone else's shoes - you have

to learn to live YOUR life, and you have to learn what the rules are

for YOU.

Cathy C.

>

> It was so nice to see so many of you last nightat the support group.

> It was a much better meeting this time. Good for . With your

> help, I am really looking at my negativity. I want something I have

> not been able to get. Rules. I want to know how many calories I am

> suppose to take in. I want to know if I should eat until I am full. I

> want to know if eating so much cheese is OK. I don't want you to tell

> me to eat low fat cheese. I just want answers and facts. I feel as if

> I am floundering because I am not able to lose weight very fast and I

> wonder what I must be doing wrong. I wish I would just lose a little

> more weight and then I would not have to feel bad. I want to be

> positive and free of worrying. I will follow the rules, I promise.

> Lilka

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Cathy, I always appreciate your input. Yes. Rules make me feel

secure. But today I read in the book we were given that I am in

stage IV now. In Richmond it means that I should eat protein first

and then vegs, fruit, crackers, etc until I feel full. That is a

rule I can listen to. But I also decided to go at least two days a

week without cheese. I suspect that I don't process fat correctly

and never have. But I love fat. That is what gives flavor. Anyway,

today I ate 2 oz of roasted turkey meat which was great and I ate 3

oz of spagetti sauce I made.(no spagetti) I ate a melon slice and

that was all I could take. I have also managed to stay out of the

refrig. This is good too. I have done this with enormous

consciousness or mindfulness. It was OK. No real pain. I have used

food to go slightly unconcsouos for about 50 years and I see now

that it will take some time to create new habits. This is definitely

a struggle for me but for the first time in my life, I am beginning

to believe I can grab hold and do it. (Lose the weight and keep it

off.) I may not lose more but I will not gain it back. I have tried

everything else but knowing when I am full is a first for me and I

am using it with great appreciation. Love to you, Cathy, Lilka

> >

> > It was so nice to see so many of you last nightat the support

group.

> > It was a much better meeting this time. Good for . With

your

> > help, I am really looking at my negativity. I want something I

have

> > not been able to get. Rules. I want to know how many calories I

am

> > suppose to take in. I want to know if I should eat until I am

full. I

> > want to know if eating so much cheese is OK. I don't want you to

tell

> > me to eat low fat cheese. I just want answers and facts. I feel

as if

> > I am floundering because I am not able to lose weight very fast

and I

> > wonder what I must be doing wrong. I wish I would just lose a

little

> > more weight and then I would not have to feel bad. I want to be

> > positive and free of worrying. I will follow the rules, I

promise.

> > Lilka

> >

>