New Here, First Post

[Guest guest]

Hi. My name is Jeannine and I had my RNY gastric bypass on November

3, 2003. My starting weight at time of surgery was 376, I am now

245, and my goal weight is 135. I am 34 years old and have been

overweight since I was about 8 years old. I am so happy that I had

this surgery done, I only wish I had done it sooner. I can't believe

I am down 131 pounds in just 7 1/2 months. It feels GREAT!!! Do

you know what I spent the day doing? Cleaning out all my " fat "

clothes out of the closet. Everything is SO big on me now things are

just falling off me. Fortunately, through the years as I was rapidly

gaining weight, outgrowing all my clothes, I kept everything, all the

smaller clothes. I went into the attic and found nice summer

dresses, 5 pairs of almost brand new jeans (the kind with buttons and

zippers, instead of the stretchy waist I had gotten all to use to

wearing), sweaters, shorts...yes I said shorts, I can't believe I'm

actually going to wear shorts again (only around the house though,

I'm not that brave...or that thin...YET ) It was great and I

didn't have to spend any money to get clothes. I think there is more

stored up in the attic, I'll look again tomorrow. I never thought I

was going to feel this great losing this weight. I have suffered

from mental illness for 6 years now...major depression, panic

disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality

disorder, obsessive/compulsive disorder. I never thought I'de ever

get any better. My self-esteem is the worst...or at least it was.

It has gotten so much better. I still have these problems and still

get help for them but things are getting better and I think my better

outlook on things has a lot to do with how much better I feel about

myself, since I feel like I am accomplishing something good here.

And I am looking better and feeling better. I'm not afraid to go out

to restruants or theaters anymore, fearing that I won't fit in the

seats. I know I'll be able to go on a plane again because I'll be

able to sit in the seats. I can walk up stairs now. I can fit in

the regular desks at the college now, I no longer have to arrange for

them to have special desks set up in the classrooms for me to fit

in. People don't stare at the " HUGE FAT LADY " anymore. Don't get me

wrong, I know I'm still fat, but I also know it's not as bad as it

was. I can sit out on my deck on the patio furniture...I fit in them

now. I can shop at the mall, they have my size, I don't have to get

everything from specialty catalogs anymore. I don't have to worry

about fitting into someone elses car. Kids aren't as afraid of me as

they use to be. I can't believe how many things have changed with

just this much weight loss. I can just imagine what life will be

like when I lose the other 115 I have left to lose. That's if I ever

do...I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I don't know if anyone else had any problems in the beginning but I

sure did. My first few months were torture. Not that I was hungry,

that wasn't it at all, I NEVER feel hungry. I was just sick all the

time. I couldn't even keep water down. I threw up constantly. I

was admitted twice for a week and a half at a time for dehydration.

And I wasn't even eating. The most I ate was sugar-free jello and

broth for the first few months and I couldn't even keep that down.

It was terrible. They finally discovered that I had a hernia. I had

to go back in for surgery to repair that. The vomiting got better

after that but I still had a little trouble keeping things down.

It's been a while now since I have thrown up but I'm still nausous

all the time. They are not sure why I have this unexplainable

nausea...they have tried me on all sorts of meds for it, even meds

they give to chemo patients to keep them from getting sick from the

chemo, nothing seemed to work. They finally found this drug called

Zofran, I take it 1/2 hour before I eat and it seems to curb the

nausea somewhat. It takes the edge off at least. It's gotten to the

point where I just don't want to eat at all, or drink. Everything

just makes me feel so sick to my stomach. I've actually sat and

cried when it was time to eat. Sometimes it's like torture forcing

myself to eat. That's why I sometimes go days without eating, which

I know is wrong. It's so hard sometimes. Does anyone else have this

problem?

Well I'm so sorry for rambling on and on here, it's just that I don't

have anyone to talk to in my life. My husband kind of gets sick of

hearing my babbeling and I don't think my mother and sister are

interested in hearing about this stuff. That's why I joined this

site...I figured here people would understand how I was feeling since

you all are probably going through the same things...here I am

rambling again...

Nean

376-245-135 (start-present-goal)

RNY 11/03/2003