The new normal, counting our blessings

[Guest guest]

As I sit here tonight i find myself reflecting on the blessings that having a chronic

disease has surprised me with. I realize that although my life has changed dramatically, I'm here with more than 600 people on a similar journey. Some of you are just starting out-- as we were 10 years ago. Some of you have been part of the "family" for it's duration, and have shared in preparing a pathway for those that are new to "sarcoidosis."

When I was working, rarely did I have or take the time to look inward. I found my identity in my work, and the relationships that I had then. Lunch out with co-workers, shopping on weekends, family, keeping the house up, getting our son to and from his activities left little time for reflection.

Our happiness was displayed by the trip to Marine World, camping, getting the top of the line backpacking equipment--- Boy Scout meetings, soccer practice, games, dinner out, a new dress or shoes or car or ...

I looked to my husband to be the primary source of my happiness-- instead of realizing that all things external couldn't fill that space. It wasn't a void-- yet is was a "space." That space had obligations-- but it didn't have the special joy that has come with learning to be content even with a broken self.

Now, as I look in the mirror, I see the white in my very thin hair, my extra chins, my robustness. I like what I see, as the woman looking back at me is much more serene, and much less judgemental. My heart is more open to both the joy and sadness, and richness of a relationship that is no longer about filling every minute of every day with "stuff".

I find myself satisfied by beautiful music, a good book, the laughter of people around me-- sharing little victories instead of needing to have physical objects to fill the space.

My "normal" has changed-- it is rich with the blessings of a few true friendships that have stood the test of time. Friendships that aren't about the purchases I can make-- but the realness that sharing a quiet moment-- a messy house, a glass of wine-- a movie -- those are the specials in life.

To find your "Peace"-- look inside-- look at the person in the mirror that looks back at you-- and say aloud "I love you!" Even with a few broken pieces, you are worthy of love and loving. Start with loving yourself, holding yourself, and letting your love shine through-- open your heart to you.

You will find your world open in ways you could never have imagined-- and it is good!

Peace to all,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator