Re: (long) Off subject-please do not be offended

[Guest guest]

,

there were times when I found out I was pregnant with my twins, that

I had hoped and prayed, I would not have to go through the same

issues again (my ASD son was then 2 yo), and twice in one setting.

But I got pregnant at that time, because he had just been diagnosed,

and I thought that if I decided on children at that point, before

really living fully ASD parenting life, I would have made a better

choice. And I did (maybe if I had waited I would not have made the

right choice for us). My twins are now 2 yo and are NT (tho a parent

never stops to worry and keep looking for " any " sign of regression)

I am glad I made that decision, and many times I now think of having

more. What is stopping me at the moment, is the busy life we live,

and the fact that my next could be ASD or that could be twins ASD....

To many, who themselves have autism and then have children with

autism, my assertions can seem very cruel or very selfish, and I

apologize for this; but the fact stands, that not everyone deals the

same ways with the same issues, and that having more than one child

with special needs, requires a lot of strenght, and a lot of efforts,

and lots of time.

I am afraid one of the children will eventually suffer from lack of

attention (or from a stressed out mom), and will not get the proper

care they deserve.

For me right now it is no...tho I always dream of cuddling a little

one, and watch them all get married and have a happy life. I am

afraid for my son that he will not make it on his own, and the

question is: why would I do that to another child? I know my NT kids

will make it in this world just fine. Who assures me my ASD son will?

These are just my confuded thoughts on the subject, but my advice is

(for what is worth) that if you really think this is the path you

want to go through, why not? the child you'll have will already have

an " educated mom " that knows what to do and will take the right steps

at the right time. Chances are, that you will have another child with

the same issues, but either way, you are the best choice for your

child... what about all those children that do not even have that

affection in their lives? that are abandoned or rejected? if you are

looking for a child that needs you, and are not really looking for

the pregnancy part of it, why not adopt? there are a lot of children

in need, that would love a caring family. I have thought of this

myself several times, but just have never really took that step.

Maybe on day I will.

Anything you decide, I am sure you will have made the right choice

for you, your family and the child to come...

Hugs. Cristina-WA

Proud mom to 4.8 yo ASD, & 2 yo NT twins.