Another new kid on the block

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone. Yes, another new kid on the block has been flushed out

of the depths of cyberspace. I wanted to say hello, introduce myself,

and see if any of you out there can help assuage some of my concerns

and/or at least relate to how I'm feeling.

Like many of you did/are, I've been researching WLS for about a year

or so, casually for the most part. That is until a couple of months

ago when I read a book on the topic by M.Boasten that made me look at

the whole thing differently. I, up until then, had the stigma of

stomach stapling of years ago stuck in my head and couldn't help but

think it was such a drastic step; too much so for me. But then I

realized that the procedures have changed so much since then and are

considerably safer. The author also made me accept that sometimes we

are this overweight for reasons beyond our control (metabolism,

genetics, a " short circuiting " between our brains telling the cells

in our intestines to absorb far more than is necessary etc.). Most

likely, it's a combination of factors.

As for me personally, it's a mystery how I am this weight. I have

never been a big eater (honest to God), don't binge eat or even eat

junk food much, and have always, up until pretty recently, been very

active (even played competitive tennis through college), yet somehow,

slowly but surely, and no thanks to dieting, have gotten bigger. It

not only amazes me, but pisses me off, to be honest (FYI, I'm 35,

5'8 " , ~size 26/28). It just perplexes me. But I've come to a point

where I'm just tired of putting my life on " hold " because of the

extra weight. I'm a firm believer that the weight is only as much of

an obstacle as we allow it to be, but that's to a certain extent.

I've always been a self-confident and self-assured woman, but I just

don't feel like this is the real me. I've never thought or acted like

a fat person, and while that may be a good thing sometimes, at others

it's as if I'm in a bit of denial. As much as I like to think that

society doesn't look at me differently because of the extra weight,

we all know that's not the case. Sigh.

Anyhow, I've slowly but surely come to the conclusion that WLS is for

me. Thankfully, I was thorough in my research, and learned of the DS

and feel it would be best for me. I am lucky enough to have no weight-

related issues at the moment, but don't want that to change as I get

older. Yet I also can't help wondering if I'm trying to fix something

that's not broken, you know? And while that terrifies me, I'd like to

think that fear is healthy (I understand that surgery is a very

serious step).

I think reading Hawkins post yesterday and his concerns (and

lovely poem), as well as reading about the woman who died recently,

really made me think some more. I'm sure I want this surgery, but

can't help but second-guess what I'm hoping to do. I'm young and

healthy and know that I can be committed to doing what I have to post-

op (protein first, vitamins etc.), but understably have my concerns.

I met with Dr. Ren in August and have a surgery date of Nov. 6th. I

still have to have the dreaded endoscopy, have my psych. evaluation

submitted, and am meeting with the nutritionist next week. So, the

ball is rolling. Well, that's as long as Oxford doesn't give me a

hard time after my prelim. tests are completed and the application is

submitted (I think Dr. Ren's office waits close to the actual surgery

date to do this).

So, that's where I am right now. I believe that God brought me to

this place for a reason and if the surgery is meant to happen, it

will. This has been a horrible year for me (my 31 year old brother

passed away of cancer in Feb. and I got laid off from my job as a

headhunter in May), so I'm looking at the surgery as turning that all

around. My birthday is in November too and I'd like to think I'm

giving myself a present; the me that I'm supposed to be.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I thought it was time that I be involved

in these posts as I've enjoyed reading them for some time now.

Continued success to all of you out there post-op; you're an

inspiration to me, and many other pre-opers, I'm sure.

,

D. in NYC