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I think your right in waiting Vee, I was engaged at Christmas to a great guy,

one who also wants this surgery but for financial reasons can't. About a

month after my surgery I broke off our engagement because of the stress I was

being put under by his somewhat jealousy and always doubting my love for him.

He

felt that when I got thinner I would leave him for another. I got tired of

trying to defend myself all the time. We have since gotten back together but

only dating. I have not taken my ring back. I too want to be sure before I

take that marriage step. I know as I lose parts of me will change. For my

boyfriend and I, I think it's more his attitude that has changed. His low

self-esteem and low-confidence in himself is what is ruining it for us. Not

matter

how I try to boost his ego, it doesn't seem to work. I am getting all this

attention from others, not just men but from family and friends and he's

jealous.

I wish all those good luck in getting through relationships during this

process. It is hard as I'm finding out. Does anyone have a suggestion as to

what

I should do? There are times where I just want to be by myself and not have

to answer to anyone.

Laurette

4/23/04 open RNY

309/290/248/150

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I am goind through the same thing with my boyfriend who is over weight. He is

always negative about himself and saying I dont have to deal with the fat

anymore. I tried explaining to him I am me no matter if I am 300 or 135. I tried

helping him eat healthy but that hasnt helped either. I pack his lunch and he

always adds to it or eats a 2 qrt bowl of cereal at bedtime then uses the

excuse I didnt eat much today. I have only lost 29 lbs so far and my ball and

chain is getting heavier and heavier. He always was jealous but now its worse

because he is afraid I will leave. I have never cheated on him before, he was

the

one cheating and even left me to get married. But after 7 yrs came back and

the sucker I am took him back. I am willing to listen to any good advise on this

subject.

Tammy In PA

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