Re: Offtopic/Daycare for - Long Response

[Guest guest]

Hi

What I mean by her irritability is mostly whining,crying, rolling on

the floor, clinging behavior, and unable to appease stuff that goes

on

with her.

I can not say she has never been aggressive. Because she has but she

is increasingly less aggressive in most environments and generally if

she is gonna be aggressive its gonna be with me and/or school because

I or school push her to the next level. , my day care person,

has a tendency to be a little softer on limits for Sam. Sometimes

that can be problematic too.

I think the aggression is an interesting topic because my son has

gotten and given his fair share of hits and bites as he developed as

did and does the other children in th day care. ( Not an every day

occurence). I have always thought agressive behavior particular in

children comes with the " being a kid " I'm talking elementary or

younger kids here. No one said anything to me when my NT kids did

stuff like that or when other kids did things to my kids (NT or ASD)

It is up to us as adults to shape their tendency to be aggressive.

For our kids (ASD) this may take a little longer. Do I think Sam

will

ever really hurt anyone - no. Does she hit and bite on everyday

basis- not usually? Can she have the potential? You bet. So can

mine or anyone's NT kids.

Now that I have had more time to cool down and get more info - the

parents aren't upset about aggressive behavior. Although someone is

upset because their 14 month old is throwing tantrums at home and

they feel she learned it from Sam. I think people were and still

are

upset about the time it takes to handle Sam. They feel like it is

time away from their kids.

Part of me understands that, part of me doesn't. insists none

of those kids are neglected - they are all clean, fed and played

with. That's why I had the idea of a shadow. It is just Sam gets

more of 's time when her behavior is irritable it is unpleasant

and they don't want their kids exposed to it. Basically she acts

like

a spoiled brat.

I do think it's very interesting that one mom doesn't want her kids

exposed to Sam at the daycare but has no reservations about me taking

her son to my house on a weekend for playdates. He would still be

exposed to my daughter at my home.

I think the thing that outrages me is the lack of tolerance and my

realization that Sam may potentially be treated differently because

of " her condition " even if it isn't warranted.

For example Sam had an eye condition that wasn't getting better it

was scarring her eyes. Not one doctor suggested we needed to do

something different even though it wasn't get better. I wonder if

she

was normal typical child if she would have been referred quicker.

I don't like what I am saying but I don't think my ASD kids needs to

be treated like a second class citizen. I think there is a tendency

in the NT world to do that. Sam needs to be in the world and the

world needs to know how deal with the Sams out there.

This response is way too long but this aggression thing is important.

Because this aggression stuff just isn't being discussed about

daycares. Senators Norwood and Sessions are making amendments to IDEA

legislation that says if your special needs kid is aggressive the

school doesn't need to provide special services for them. Thats a

school's and/or state's out of providing special ed to our kids.

Please read www.copaa.net or com.

I don't think there is a place for aggression in our school and day

cares but I do know there is a way to teach kids how deal with their

aggression but it doesn't include excluding them indefinitely.

Jeneane, Houston

Nick 5 (NT)

Sam 3 (PDD-Nos)

Beth 2 (NT)