Re: I lost my message

[Guest guest]

Lilka You are doing great. Just keep working on strengthening what you need to do to feel good about you, a situation like loneliness so you won't nibble. You're really working on this and I believe in you and you need to believe in yourself and you will make this a good journey for yourself. When you are stronger, you really should get out and dance again. I have been doing so many new things, and things I have not do in such a long time and it is so wonderful. Take care. Donna J.Lilka wrote: I am trying to find the long message I wrote, mostly to Francisco. I will try to find it and send it. Sometimes my messages get lost here but this time I made a copy. Nope. It is lost. Too bad. It was deep. O well. I will try to recreate it. I liked that

list you made, Francisco of all the wonderful things that you have found since you had the surgery. I was thinking about my own list but the most important thing on my list, of course, besides the no more pills is that my hip stopped hurting and I can walk again. Yesterday, I told my step mother that I was 10 years younger now. How much better is that? I expect to take off another five years as the months go by. This is just miraculous. I also mentioned something about my process here. I find that I want to nibble at certain times. I especially want to nibble when I come in from outside. I want a cherry tomato, a thin slice of cheese, a cracker. It is not a lot right now but my doctor told me that eating in between meals is absolutely not OK because that is how people gain weight. I tried to do it with discipline and it works to some degree but then Gity told me to see this nibbling as a

part of me that needs to be recognized and understood if I am to eliminate it for good. I have gained a great incite into it as I used to come home from school at 13 and buy candy and popcorn and eat it in my room by myself. I was so miserable that year. That is when when I began to comfort myself with food. I want to nibble late at night, too. Lonliness? There seems to be a part of me that wants to feel bad about myself. These behaviors make me feel guilty and shameful. Then I need to hide. That leads to worse behaviors. In any case, there are other things I can do when I come into the house, like thumb through the mail or catalogs or mags. But at night, I have to order myself out of the room and I have not found a substitute for my needs yet. I love to dance too. I used to square dance but I love all kinds of dancing. I have joined Curves to strengthen myself first. Then I will dance again. That

will be a milestone in my life, when I can dance again. Love to you and to all the wonderful people on this board. LilkaDonna JordonDSJordon@...

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