Re: The parallels are amazing

[Guest guest]

AWWW, thank you Francisco. But you are right, no one gets me like

you do. You have also opened my heart and eyes to new perspectives

and for that I will always cherish our friendship. You are a great

spirit my friend. Im glad I met you on this journey...one we walk

together not alone!

Huggles

> > >

> > > I am trying to find the long message I wrote, mostly to

> Francisco.

> > I

> > > will try to find it and send it. Sometimes my messages get

lost

> > here

> > > but this time I made a copy. Nope. It is lost. Too bad. It was

> > deep.

> > > O well.

> > > I will try to recreate it. I liked that list you made,

Francisco

> of

> > > all the wonderful things that you have found since you had the

> > > surgery. I was thinking about my own list but the most

important

> > > thing on my list, of course, besides the no more pills is that

my

> > > hip stopped hurting and I can walk again. Yesterday, I told my

> step

> > > mother that I was 10 years younger now. How much better is

that?

> I

> > > expect to take off another five years as the months go by.

This

> is

> > > just miraculous.

> > > I also mentioned something about my process here. I find

> that

> > I

> > > want to nibble at certain times. I especially want to nibble

when

> I

> > > come in from outside. I want a cherry tomato, a thin slice of

> > > cheese, a cracker. It is not a lot right now but my doctor

told

> me

> > > that eating in between meals is absolutely not OK because that

is

> > > how people gain weight. I tried to do it with discipline and

it

> > > works to some degree but then Gity told me to see this

nibbling

> as

> > a

> > > part of me that needs to be recognized and understood if I am

to

> > > eliminate it for good. I have gained a great incite into it as

I

> > > used to come home from school at 13 and buy candy and popcorn

and

> > > eat it in my room by myself. I was so miserable that year.

That

> is

> > > when when I began to comfort myself with food. I want to

nibble

> > late

> > > at night, too. Lonliness? There seems to be a part of me that

> wants

> > > to feel bad about myself. These behaviors make me feel guilty

and

> > > shameful. Then I need to hide. That leads to worse behaviors.

In

> > any

> > > case, there are other

> > > things I can do when I come into the house, like thumb through

> the

> > > mail or catalogs or mags. But at night, I have to order myself

> out

> > > of the room and I have not found a substitute for my needs

yet.

> > > I love to dance too. I used to square dance but I love all

> kinds

> > > of dancing. I have joined Curves to strengthen myself first.

Then

> I

> > > will dance again. That will be a milestone in my life, when I

can

> > > dance again. Love to you and to all the wonderful people on

this

> > > board. Lilka

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

HI Jenn

Thank you so much for your kind words,if Im helping anyone its

myself and giving back what Ive received.

No, Im not a stay home mom, unfortunately my hubby has heart

problems and is on a disability retirement. I work as a site

supervisor for the State Preschool and school age programs at

Concord Child Care Center.

My kids are 24,22,19,15 and 7. 4 boys and my one girl is the one in

the middle. I have a 3 year old grandson and a 10 month old

granddaughter and one due in July.

> > > >

> > > > I am trying to find the long message I wrote, mostly to

> > Francisco.

> > > I

> > > > will try to find it and send it. Sometimes my messages get

> lost

> > > here

> > > > but this time I made a copy. Nope. It is lost. Too bad. It

was

> > > deep.

> > > > O well.

> > > > I will try to recreate it. I liked that list you made,

> Francisco

> > of

> > > > all the wonderful things that you have found since you had

the

> > > > surgery. I was thinking about my own list but the most

> important

> > > > thing on my list, of course, besides the no more pills is

that

> my

> > > > hip stopped hurting and I can walk again. Yesterday, I told

my

> > step

> > > > mother that I was 10 years younger now. How much better is

> that?

> > I

> > > > expect to take off another five years as the months go by.

> This

> > is

> > > > just miraculous.

> > > > I also mentioned something about my process here. I

find

> > that

> > > I

> > > > want to nibble at certain times. I especially want to nibble

> when

> > I

> > > > come in from outside. I want a cherry tomato, a thin slice

of

> > > > cheese, a cracker. It is not a lot right now but my doctor

> told

> > me

> > > > that eating in between meals is absolutely not OK because

that

> is

> > > > how people gain weight. I tried to do it with discipline and

> it

> > > > works to some degree but then Gity told me to see this

> nibbling

> > as

> > > a

> > > > part of me that needs to be recognized and understood if I

am

> to

> > > > eliminate it for good. I have gained a great incite into it

as

> I

> > > > used to come home from school at 13 and buy candy and

popcorn

> and

> > > > eat it in my room by myself. I was so miserable that year.

> That

> > is

> > > > when when I began to comfort myself with food. I want to

> nibble

> > > late

> > > > at night, too. Lonliness? There seems to be a part of me

that

> > wants

> > > > to feel bad about myself. These behaviors make me feel

guilty

> and

> > > > shameful. Then I need to hide. That leads to worse

behaviors.

> In

> > > any

> > > > case, there are other

> > > > things I can do when I come into the house, like thumb

through

> > the

> > > > mail or catalogs or mags. But at night, I have to order

myself

> > out

> > > > of the room and I have not found a substitute for my needs

> yet.

> > > > I love to dance too. I used to square dance but I love

all

> > kinds

> > > > of dancing. I have joined Curves to strengthen myself first.

> Then

> > I

> > > > will dance again. That will be a milestone in my life, when

I

> can

> > > > dance again. Love to you and to all the wonderful people on

> this

> > > > board. Lilka

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Hi Jenn, Your post really got to me. I understand it so deeply. No

one can really understand how much our fat affects our lives. Just

the other day I was remembering how I dreaded going up hills or

walking at all. I had too much pain in my hip. My whole life was

clouded with pain and discomfort. I would never just admit that I

could not do something because it was just too hard since I was so

heavy. Everyone around me got used to doing things for me and I got

used to it , kind of. I simply could not carry things, could not

walk far, could not walk up a hill or fast. I could not fit into a

seat belt on my car. Everyone began to live around me. They were

passing me by. I watched them as if I were an old and ancient lady.

I simply could not be on my feet even to cook. I needed special

shoes that I still wear that supported my painful heels.It is just

no fun counting out pills, remembering to take them, feeling propped

up on chemicals and then having to take more and more. Oh just

remembering is getting me down. My last child was deprived of any

playtime with me because I just could not do it. I could not

recognize myself. I am now 3 months after surgery, I am finally

coming out from behind the enormous load on my back. All the things

I mentioned i can now do. I feel ten, yes ten years younger, maybe

more since I have been so large for the last 20 years. The best

thing is that I am beginning to take care of things again all by

myself. Some of the people around me are surprised when I say, " I

can do that " . I am proud and happy with myself. I feel thin, even

though I am not. When you work the program you become radiant and

ecstatic. That is the way I feel.

Do you visit Gity on Tuesday at 12:30? She has helped me so much. I

go to Richmond but I drive down to S San Fran just to spend time

with Her and her team and all the post ops and the newbees there. It

is a great place. I don't know if you can get away for it. Please

show up. I also go on Sat, the 3rd Sat every month at 9:30. I am

determined to get my answers so that I can go on with my life. With

love to you and all the dear others who have contributed so much to

me. Lilka

> > > > >

> > > > > I am trying to find the long message I wrote, mostly to

> > > Francisco.

> > > > I

> > > > > will try to find it and send it. Sometimes my messages get

> > lost

> > > > here

> > > > > but this time I made a copy. Nope. It is lost. Too bad. It

> was

> > > > deep.

> > > > > O well.

> > > > > I will try to recreate it. I liked that list you made,

> > Francisco

> > > of

> > > > > all the wonderful things that you have found since you had

> the

> > > > > surgery. I was thinking about my own list but the most

> > important

> > > > > thing on my list, of course, besides the no more pills is

> that

> > my

> > > > > hip stopped hurting and I can walk again. Yesterday, I

told

> my

> > > step

> > > > > mother that I was 10 years younger now. How much better is

> > that?

> > > I

> > > > > expect to take off another five years as the months go by.

> > This

> > > is

> > > > > just miraculous.

> > > > > I also mentioned something about my process here. I

> find

> > > that

> > > > I

> > > > > want to nibble at certain times. I especially want to

nibble

> > when

> > > I

> > > > > come in from outside. I want a cherry tomato, a thin slice

> of

> > > > > cheese, a cracker. It is not a lot right now but my doctor

> > told

> > > me

> > > > > that eating in between meals is absolutely not OK because

> that

> > is

> > > > > how people gain weight. I tried to do it with discipline

and

> > it

> > > > > works to some degree but then Gity told me to see this

> > nibbling

> > > as

> > > > a

> > > > > part of me that needs to be recognized and understood if I

> am

> > to

> > > > > eliminate it for good. I have gained a great incite into

it

> as

> > I

> > > > > used to come home from school at 13 and buy candy and

> popcorn

> > and

> > > > > eat it in my room by myself. I was so miserable that year.

> > That

> > > is

> > > > > when when I began to comfort myself with food. I want to

> > nibble

> > > > late

> > > > > at night, too. Lonliness? There seems to be a part of me

> that

> > > wants

> > > > > to feel bad about myself. These behaviors make me feel

> guilty

> > and

> > > > > shameful. Then I need to hide. That leads to worse

> behaviors.

> > In

> > > > any

> > > > > case, there are other

> > > > > things I can do when I come into the house, like thumb

> through

> > > the

> > > > > mail or catalogs or mags. But at night, I have to order

> myself

> > > out

> > > > > of the room and I have not found a substitute for my needs

> > yet.

> > > > > I love to dance too. I used to square dance but I love

> all

> > > kinds

> > > > > of dancing. I have joined Curves to strengthen myself

first.

> > Then

> > > I

> > > > > will dance again. That will be a milestone in my life,

when

> I

> > can

> > > > > dance again. Love to you and to all the wonderful people

on

> > this

> > > > > board. Lilka

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >