Reflections: Being friendly to ourselves

[Guest guest]

, I hear your desperation, and my heart hurts for you.I've been there lots of times. Beating up on myself doesn't changeanything; in fact, it's just a way to stay the same. It's a penance toappease my guilt so I could sneak off and do the same crap again.I think we need to be friendly with ourselves.  How am I friendly with myself? By being kind to myself, like a good parent.  You've seen the indulgent parents who think they're being loving and accepting whenthey let their children do anything they want. But that's lazy and itdoesn't teach the child any discipline or self-control. Those kids arenot happy, and they are not people anyone wants to be around.Thenagain, would a loving parent make the child fast? Would she give herprotein bars or a protein shake instead of lunch? Would she beat the kidif the kid does something wrong?The flip side of our guilt is a whisper of wisdom: We know we can do this differently, wiser, better. We long to love ourselves. There has to be lovingdiscipline, or else there is no joy. We need to find a path that works,stick with it, turn away from all those picky doubting inner voices,and be honest with ourselves. It doesn't do any good to lie toourselves by saying " I accept myself " when really we're just doing thesame old crap. Notice: When you are able to design your loving self-discipline, and practice it, you feel joyful and enriched. I do not mean some punitive discipline; I mean: What good, healthy practices can you stay with, that will nurture your best you? That is true self-discipline, like a ball player or musician who practices for the love of it, not to avoid punishment.Past achievements point to the fact that you can do it. But they're inthe past, and this is NOW, your one-and-only precious human life.You'veexperimented, and only you know what the Right Path is for you. In thepast you've said that fasting doesn't work, starving yourself doesn'twork, and Starbuck's doesn't work. Maybe it would help to stop focusingon losing weight, and start focusing on what kind of " food life path " you want to live. That way, even if you don't achieve the body you'dlike to have, you will be happy because right living will give youpeace.LoveMartha