The parallels are amazing

[Guest guest]

Jenn:

I think support is so important for us because we realize that there

are people who understand what we're going through. Morbid obesity

is a disease of isolation. We need to know that we are not alone in

our pain.

Who really could understand the fear of breaking a chair? Or the joy

of finally being only overweight?

The amazing and powerful connection we all have here is very

special. and I, for example, are practically WLS twins. We

had our surgeries about a month apart. We met here in this group,

and we are amazed (still to this day!) that our journies have been so

parallel, with developments and stages that are so similar it's scary!

I'll private email her or she will email me, and we are just amazed

that our hearts and spirits are in the same place. Our lives are

very different--I'm a gay man, she's a married woman with five

children--but there is this amazing similarity that joins us. And I

find great comfort in her wisdom and her tenacity and her courage.

She inspires me because I see where she's come from and how she's

been such a success (although sometimes she needs to be reminded of

that). I really couldn't have lost 153 lbs without this group and

other support.

We share a common language here that, despite our differences, sets

us apart so that we understand each other's joy and struggles like no

one else.

We so lucky to have this space. To me, it is sacred. And I'm glad

you're a part of it too.

Francisco

> >

> > I am trying to find the long message I wrote, mostly to

Francisco.

> I

> > will try to find it and send it. Sometimes my messages get lost

> here

> > but this time I made a copy. Nope. It is lost. Too bad. It was

> deep.

> > O well.

> > I will try to recreate it. I liked that list you made, Francisco

of

> > all the wonderful things that you have found since you had the

> > surgery. I was thinking about my own list but the most important

> > thing on my list, of course, besides the no more pills is that my

> > hip stopped hurting and I can walk again. Yesterday, I told my

step

> > mother that I was 10 years younger now. How much better is that?

I

> > expect to take off another five years as the months go by. This

is

> > just miraculous.

> > I also mentioned something about my process here. I find

that

> I

> > want to nibble at certain times. I especially want to nibble when

I

> > come in from outside. I want a cherry tomato, a thin slice of

> > cheese, a cracker. It is not a lot right now but my doctor told

me

> > that eating in between meals is absolutely not OK because that is

> > how people gain weight. I tried to do it with discipline and it

> > works to some degree but then Gity told me to see this nibbling

as

> a

> > part of me that needs to be recognized and understood if I am to

> > eliminate it for good. I have gained a great incite into it as I

> > used to come home from school at 13 and buy candy and popcorn and

> > eat it in my room by myself. I was so miserable that year. That

is

> > when when I began to comfort myself with food. I want to nibble

> late

> > at night, too. Lonliness? There seems to be a part of me that

wants

> > to feel bad about myself. These behaviors make me feel guilty and

> > shameful. Then I need to hide. That leads to worse behaviors. In

> any

> > case, there are other

> > things I can do when I come into the house, like thumb through

the

> > mail or catalogs or mags. But at night, I have to order myself

out

> > of the room and I have not found a substitute for my needs yet.

> > I love to dance too. I used to square dance but I love all

kinds

> > of dancing. I have joined Curves to strengthen myself first. Then

I

> > will dance again. That will be a milestone in my life, when I can

> > dance again. Love to you and to all the wonderful people on this

> > board. Lilka

> >

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