Am I doing Something Wrong?

July 8, 2004

Hi all! Long time no post because of my birthday and such. I am

posting tonight because I feel stuck, maybe a little depressed,

maybe I don't even have a clue. I have had a strict diet for the

last 6 1/2 weeks. I have followed it to the T. Liquid boost two

weeks, soft diet two weeks, week of fish, week of chicken, and now

week of salad being added to my diet. I use low cal or no cal

dressing barely. I chew my food well, take my 30-45 min to eat as

instructed by my doctor, exercise daily, and try to keep high

spirits. I have to be honest with you all, I have been stuck at the

same weight for almost 4 weeks. It is killing me. I know that inches

are more important and I think that tonight I am going to have my

mom measure so that I can keep track of these as well and check with

my nurses to see what I was before surgery. I am really down lately

and just want to bump myself off of this stupid plateau. I eat at

least 60-70 grams of protein a day and try to stay away from snacks

and carbs. Is there something I can do other than cry, pray, wish

etc. I have lost a total of 25 pounds since surgery on May 27th. I

am also on the depo birth control injection. I feel like I may only

lose 30 pounds total. What is going on? I drink more than 64 oz. of

water and only wish that the losing would continue. I just fear

becoming a failure and not reaching my goal. I want good results so

bad.It is so early to feel this way and I am so frustrated. Someone

please help me feel better about myself and the decision I made. I

know that this was a long post and I apologize beforehand. I am

feeling really depressed right now and am going to go take a hot

bath and cry some more. I am sorry for the down message. Usually I

am upbeat and happy although lately I am feeling stuck and lonely.

281/261/236

May 27, lap rny

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