Re: Preparing kids for change in adult's appearance?

January 29, 2005

>

Hi Sara,

I have a 7yr old daughter, who's been with her dad (we're not

together) since my surgery 1/24.

She's been over to visit a few times since and we talk (I mumble)on

the phone- but we decided not to expose her to my face for a week

after the surgery (I thought my face would look worse than it

actually does).

I told my 7yr. old " mom's going to look like a chipmunk for a few

weeks " . We were just honest with her regarding the surgery, and what

the outcome would be-a slight change in appearance.

She's o.k. with it so far, I think she's still a little freaked out

by my chipmunk face-but at least she laughs when she see's it, and

not cry-like when her dad shaved his beard off.

christina :-)

> Hi all,

>

> I haven't seen my young nephews (ages 5, 2, and infant) since Xmas,

a

> couple of days before my surgery. It's been over a month and I'm

> still slightly bruised and definitely swollen (I'm recovering

pretty

> slowly), plus obviously my appearance has changed because of the

> surgery itself (upper jaw + genio) -- so I look pretty different

from

> the Auntie Sara they're used to seeing!

>

> My question is -- how did those of you with children,

nieces/nephews,

> etc. prepare them for the change in appearance? (My oldest nephew

is

> highly sensitive/scared of any mention of doctors and dentists, as

> well, so we don't want to give him too many details -- but we also

> don't want to lie, either.)

>

> Also, how did you prepare *yourselves* for their reactions? I'm

> feeling pretty up and down these days about how I look (I love my

> profile, but am not quite comfortable with my frontal appearance),

> and am scared not just of upsetting my nephews, but also of getting

> upset myself if they are scared or put off by seeing me. I miss

them

> so much and can't wait to see them, but fear that they might not

> really think I'm the same " Auntie Sara " after all.

>

> Thanks for any suggestions or insights!

> Sara

January 29, 2005

Hi Sara,

I have 2 nephews and 2 nieces (one pair in their mid to late teens,

the other pair were under 5 when I had the surgery). To be honest,

the youngest ones didn't bat an eyelash, they knew who I was and we

just got on with things. They were never told what had happened, they

didn't need to know.

It's the ones that have known me the longest who had the most

difficulty with the change (my parents and siblings), not that they

really had trouble, but it's strange looking at a completely

different face (they all said they wouldn't have recognized me on the

street out of context).

>