Re: Thanks for being there...

[Guest guest]

, so very sorry to hear of your cats' passing. i love my two cats SO

much so I do understand. They are my little furry babies even though i have a

granddaughter...lol. They also mean the world to me. I've lost three other

cats and it takes a while to get past it...but the memories of them are very

sweet. You are allowed to grieve their passing no matter what anyone else says.

I've already thought about how disastrous it would be when my furry babies die

cuz I love them so much. I have so many pictures of mine. HUGS!!!! S.

Life is short...live it to the fullest...to your last living breath.

>

> Subject: Thanks for being there...

> To: Neurosarcoidosis

> Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 7:39 AM

>

>

>

> OK, So I'm guilty of not logging in to the group for a long

> while also. You all probably don't remember me...it's been

> that long. Here's what has been going on with me...my

> beloved cat of 13 years, Danny, died. I am having a very

> very hard time dealing with the grief. In March of 2009, I

> lost my other cat, Rebound. She was 18 years old. I can't

> take anymore loss right now. I feel SO alone.I don't think I

> can stand to hear one more: " But it's just a CAT, for cryin'

> out loud... " Don't respond if you are going to give me THAT

> lecture. I live alone. Danny was practically all the family

> I had since Rebie passed away. I raised him from a week old,

> using a bottle and formula. I guess I really depended on

> Danny since I lost Rebound. He was a lot younger, and he had

> received a clean bill of health at his last senior checkup.

> His loss has devastated me...It was EXTREMELY sudden/totally

> unexpected. My heart has broken; who could imagine such a

> little creature could leave such an ENORMOUS hole in my life

> and my heart. I have never felt so alone in my life, and I

> don't think anyone gets it. Anyway, that's where I've been.

> (sigh) Sorry to be so morose.

> I know that is the last thing any of us needs; we all need

> to be uplifted and encouraged. Quite frankly, though, I just

> don't feel like I have anything upbeat to contribute, so

> I've been staying silent to spare everyone my grief. You are

> all in my thoughts, my heart, and my prayers, though, just

> the same.

>

> shanniemel@...

>

>

> >

> >

> > Subject: Fw: [NSMods] Re: why i

> left

> > To: neurosarcoidosis ,

> NSMods-owner

> > Cc: " Abouhamama "

> > Date: Saturday, January 2, 2010, 3:56 PM

> >

> > Guys, we were sent an email from this morning,

> and it has prompted some important responses and

> communication within the group. 

> > So many times I come online and the posts to the group

> are simple statements of birthday greetings and single line

> or word responses to whatever. 

> > I know that by not sending answers to every post --

> that you all sometimes feel like .  Unloved,

> unimportant, and insignificant. 

> > I can tell you this is not the case.  Personally, my

> energy resources are spread as thin as it gets-- just

> answering the posts where someone wants some guidance.  I

> can also tell you that I do read EVERY single post-- and if

> there is a question (the subject line often doesn't give us

> a clue that you have an important issue as you may send it

> as a reply to something like a  birthday wish) and many

> people figure it's just another greeting -- so they don't

> bother. 

> > As an owner- I've always tried to make sure that the

> questions are answered, and that we open discussions on

> issues that come up for all of us.  I research-- search for

> articles that can show you the medical information out there

> that can be of help with your concerns--and that you can

> print out and share with your docs.  I can tell you that it

> is VERY time consuming-- and requires that I read multiple

> articles to find one that best supports the concerns.

> > As many of you know, this last several years-- we've

> had a tough time with having our moderators healthy, Darlene

> was offline for almost a year and much of the groups needs

> were being met by just myself and Rose and Marla. 

> and Debbie and Kim-- have all been to sick and to tired to

> be online much-- so that has really put the burden of a

> group of now 600+ members on the backs of a couple of us. 

>

> > Rose has reached a burn-out point-- and I've not heard

> from her in too long.  has stated several times that

> she is spending her time and energy doing things other than

> just the group-- and that is how it should be.  Deb was in

> a flare, last I heard.  Kim hasn't been around for a couple

> of years-- and though we refuse to let her off-- she's not

> getting even the emails unless it's a special notice. 

> > We are a support group, and an information access for

> all of you.  Yep, we get busy like everyone else, we have

> lives outside this group, and it does take a tremendous

> amount of energy to be there for everyone's individual

> posts. 

> > That is where I fall short-- I have to use the

> precious little energy I have doing the research.  I don't

> and won't feel guilty or take on the insecurities of every

> member-- as to do so would be physical and emotional

> suicide-- and only make it impossible for me to be healthy

> enough to do the research.  I have to leave that to the

> members to support each other in that area. 

> > To think that ANY   one person is not important, or

> not " liked " -- on a board where there are few faces to go

> with the posts (there is safety in anonimity) is

> ridiculous.  None of this personal.  It is truly that all

> of us have to protect our energy-- and believe me-- we all

> put out a tremendous amount of energy holding the hearts and

> hands of our members. 

> > I know that many times our sickness itself robs us of

> feeling good about ourself.  Sometimes, it's because the

> sarcoidosis is effecting the part of our brain that handles

> these emotions.  Sometimes it's because we are naturally

> insecure-- even before we became sick.  All of us have

> these kinds of insecurities. 

> > When I get into these places myself, I have to stop

> and ask myself why or what is making me feel unloved.  Is

> it my own self-talk and personal feelings of inadequacy? 

> When I do this-- I realize that the only real person

> screwing with my mind is ME!  To put it bluntly- and I will

> piss some of you off, the only person fucking with my head

> is me. 

> > No one is to my knowledge going offline and saying " so

> and so is such a ass " or whatever.  I don't believe that

> our members are that small minded.  I know NONE of us have

> the energy to spend doing that-- if I did, it' wouldn't be

> about the members of the group-- I can figure ways to waste

> that energy just on family dynamics alone. 

> > I'm sorry that or Darlene or any member feels

> unimportant.  It's not the case-- and since they don't have

> the energy to put forth posts daily, to each and every

> member-- maybe they need to cut the others some slack-- to

> expect that we can reach down and be there every time for

> every post is selfish-- and honestly, I " m a bit pissed

> off. 

> > I wanted this to be a post that states that YOU ARE

> ALL IMPORTANT! YOU ARE!  SO STOP SCREWING WITH YOUR HEAD

> AND GET ON WITH IT!  For each time you reach out and share

> a concern-- someone answers-- eventually.  Some hide it in

> posts that have nothing to do with your issue-- so if you're

> thinking that you should get back a post with your name on

> it - as in a personal letter, you'll miss that someone did

> answer just not in the way you expect.

> >  

> > That's my take on this issue-- and feedback is

> welcomed,

> > Tracie

> > NS Co-owner/moderator

> >  

> >  

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> > ----- Forwarded Message ----

> >

> > To: jessicabouhamama@...

> > Cc: nsmods

> > Sent: Sat, January 2, 2010 7:51:09 AM

> > Subject: [NSMods] Re: why i left

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> > Dear ,

> >        I was saddened when I saw a notice where

> you had left the group.  Please reconsider.  You are

> important

> > to us and helpful..... ..and you need us also as much

> as we need you.   You are right about the Mods all being

> > sick and us two owners also.  As for you not getting

> any answers ----- you are not the only one!  I have sent

> > emails to the list many, many, times and NO ONE has

> responded!  That makes an Owner really feel unloved

> > and unwelcome.  Also, when someone requests help or

> etc and I answer, most of the time, I never hear a

> > " thank you " or anything.... ....I never even know if

> they read it or not!   I know people on the list are sick

> -- or

> > they would not be here........ .but it bothers me when

> my emails are not answered but others are .........I do

> > not know the answers but I will tell you that I

> seriously thought about leaving the list also.   However,

> I have

> > been sick since last Spring and I knew that if I was a

> bit weller, I would not want to leave, so I did not.

> >  

> >        I hope you will reconsider your

> decision..  If not, I wish you a healthy year, lots of

> happiness, and hope

> > you find someone to chat with about this Sarc

> Monster.

> >  

> > Sincerely,

> > Darlene

> > Co-Owner/Moderator

> >  

> >  

> >  

> >

> > why i left

> >

> >

> > This has been going on for a long time ,, and we

> addressed this several times. i have been with this group a

> good many years and I don't know what happend.

> > but , i feel like i am not liked very much. I know the

> moderaters are sick and have problems and respond when they

> can. but others respond to only certin people's posts and

> mine are not one of them. I've posted many time in the last

> year and only had responces back once or twice.

> > I fell alone in this as far as this group. like i am

> invisable. I never was nothing but helpful and caring and i

> get nothing back but silence. soooo whats the use to keep

> trying.

> > I wish you all the best and hope you all find peace in

> this horror we are living.

> > thank you

> >

> >  

> > Many blessings and a pain free day

> >

> > Please support Neurosarcoidosis society

> >

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

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