Guest guest Posted April 19, 2004 Report Share Posted April 19, 2004 first of all i want to thank you for reading this.this last december i had my husband leave because he was abusive to me and my 2 boys.and in january i had an order for protection on him because of the abuse,the judge said that he can call the boys once a week well then he had a fit because he wanted to call them more often,and he got supervised visitation for once a week at like at a ymca.well he has only called the boys 3 times since january.and hasnt visited them at all since then.but anyways getting to what i dont know what to do...my mom asked him if he wanted to take the kids while im in the hospital,with the help of his mom.since he lives with his parents.i dont want my kids to be hurt by him anymore then they have already.but then i dont want to keep them away from him.i am really considering about just not having the surgery.my oldest son is 6 years old and he now is hitting,spitting,calling names at girls.im pretty sure its because he seen his dad do that to me.i just dont know what to do.if i should let him take care of the boys or if i should forget about having the surgery for now.i dont know when i would do it though ok well i suppose i will stop babaling.take care. christie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2004 Report Share Posted April 19, 2004 Christie, do you have a close friend or family member who could take the kids for a few days? If they go with your ex you will be uneasy and you won't need that during surgery/recovery. But putting it off may make you depressed and resentful. Good luck to you, let us know what you decide. D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2004 Report Share Posted April 19, 2004 Christie, It sounds to me like you need to take a step backwards and maybe think of another alternative for childcare while you are in the hospital. If he hasn't made any effort it sounds like that's for the best! I have custody of my Nephew for very similar reasons on the fathers part and he calls on his birthday and christmas and when he is feeling fatherly. (next to never) Children get very angry when going through the separation of parents. They act out in different ways and are just trying to show you that they are hurting. I am sure both of your children miss their father a lot. Don't give up on the surgery for something like that. That would be silly to give up something that will benefit you so much because your ex is being a deadbeat dad. There is no sense in punishing yourself for his lack of responsibility. Chin up! : ) Blessings! Vandever Lap RNY 4-6-04 304-283-165 dont know what to do.... > first of all i want to thank you for reading this.this last december > i had my husband leave because he was abusive to me and my 2 > boys.and in january i had an order for protection on him because of > the abuse,the judge said that he can call the boys once a week well > then he had a fit because he wanted to call them more often,and he > got supervised visitation for once a week at like at a ymca.well he > has only called the boys 3 times since january.and hasnt visited > them at all since then.but anyways getting to what i dont know what > to do...my mom asked him if he wanted to take the kids while im in > the hospital,with the help of his mom.since he lives with his > parents.i dont want my kids to be hurt by him anymore then they have > already.but then i dont want to keep them away from him.i am really > considering about just not having the surgery.my oldest son is 6 > years old and he now is hitting,spitting,calling names at girls.im > pretty sure its because he seen his dad do that to me.i just dont > know what to do.if i should let him take care of the boys or if i > should forget about having the surgery for now.i dont know when i > would do it though ok well i suppose i will stop babaling.take > care. > christie > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2004 Report Share Posted April 20, 2004 <<hi group my name is I am going today for my first consultation for gastric bypass I am a little bit nervous I hope I get approved. does anyone have any bad stories about the surgery I was just curious how bad the risks are thanks.>> Hi , Welcome to the list. I highly recommend not making the decision to have surgery until you have researched everything about it. I researched it for almost 2 years before I decided to go ahead with it. It is not something to enter into lightly. My girlfriend ( we met in our mandatory surgery class as pre-ops) just kind of stumbled across this surgery and had deep regret and went into a depression for about 3 months after having done it because she didn't know all the details and to this day she still doesn't do what she needs to to take care of herself (vitamins, protein supplements, water, exercise, healthy food choices). She is 6 months out now and is starting to look ill and greyish in color. I do not regret my decision at all and my experience has been much easier because I went into it well informed and knowing what to expect. Anyways, welcome. Pam Lap RNY (80 cm bypassed) w/ Lap Cholecystectomy 5Dec03 Tricare Prime Dr. Scherrer/ AFB, CA 269/197/169 7 pounds to surgeons goal!! 29 pounds to my goal!! Re: Re: dont know what to do.... > hi group my name is I am going today for my first consultation for gastric bypass I am a little bit nervous I hope I get approved. does anyone have any bad stories about the surgery I was just curious how bad the risks are thanks. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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