Guest guest Posted June 15, 2003 Report Share Posted June 15, 2003 I posted a response earlier, but i realized I might have just sent it to Monte. I'll try again, Monte, Please don't beat yourself up for how you feel. First of all your experience with Dr. Harrington is yours and that woman's mother's was hers. Even if he did butcher her, he did not butcher you. No matter her experience it doesn't take away that you had a good one. Also, we are all so different psychologically, physically, intellectually. I have been working in the field of human behavior for over 20 years and even I can't fully understand why people self destruct. I have met so many people who jumped into this surgery without really researching and even more who will not follow post op protocol. Even when they are ill and malnourished, they say, " I don't want to do all that " , or it's too much trouble, or " I did this (wls) so I wouldn't have to think about my weight any more " . You did what was best. You have to pick and chose your battles & this one didn't seem like it was worth your energy. Save that energy for a battle worth your efforts. BTW, your weight loss has been phenomenal. Congratulations. Lorraine > I don't post often, but something happened yesterday that I needed > to share... > > I was invited to attend a " graduation party " (which was really just > the official reason for all of the adults to have a cookout lol) > hosted by a friend of my best friend. Several people at the party > hadn't seen me since my surgery, and were amazed at the changes they > saw in me, not only physically but emotionally as well. I was then > introduced to the ex-wife of the host. When my surgery and weight > loss was brought up by my best friend, she asked me who was my > surgeon. When I told her it was Dr. Harrington, she told me I was > lucky to be alive, because " that man is a butcher " . It turns out > that her mother had RNY with Dr. Harrington, about six months before > I did, and had numerous complications, including a nicked bowel that > caused massive infection. She ended up going into surgery a total of > 10 times (several of these being with a different surgeon), almost > died twice, and at one point was in a coma for 5 days. > > Shortly after this, her mother arrived and we were introduced. > During our discussion (which quickly emptied the room lol) we never > became adversarial, but there were several things that really stood > out and had me biting my tongue. > > 1. She told me that repeated attempts to reach Dr. Harrington while > she was in the hospital went unanswered. This from the same man who > left a cocktail party early on his night off to come back to the > hospital and check up on me. (I had no real complications during my > surgery... I was in ICU for a day, but this had been planned due to > my sleep apnea and the need to monitor my oxygen levels). > > 2. She stated that she ended up needing counseling to help her deal > with the fact that she had so many complications as the result > of " what was supposed to be such a basic and simple procedure " . From > my initial consultation with Dr. Harrington to the last post I've > read today, this was the first time I've ever heard the RNY > described as anything other than major surgery. > > 3. When asked if she took her vitamins, she shrugged and said " I do > whenever I think about it, but I stay pretty busy most of the time. " > > 4. When asked about water, she responded " I don't drink much > water...95% of what I drink is either diet coke or coffee " (both of > which are on the " taboo " list my surgeon provides). > > 5. When I asked her about protein, she said that she doesn't use > supplements, but does try to eat mainly protein when she eats. While > she said this, I watched her make a plate of food consisting of > potato salad and batter dipped onion rings. > > I found myself eventually at a loss for words, and couldn't > understand how someone who had so many complications and issues with > her surgery could be so lackadaisical about her future health. I > felt the need to admonish her for not making much of an effort to > follow the post-op guidelines, and also to defend the man who > literally saved my life, but did not want to confront her about > something that was obviously such a sore subject with her. So I kept > my mouth shut... > > Well, thanks to all who read this... I guess I just needed to vent. > The more I think about our conversation, the more frustrated I've > become, and I'm at a loss for whether or not I should have handled > it differently. > > Monte in VA > LAP RNY 1/30/02 > Dr. Harrington/Commonwealth Surgeons > 01/30/02 Wt. - 660 > 05/09/02 Wt. - 298 (-362) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2003 Report Share Posted June 15, 2003 Monte, I think you handled yourself very, very well. It is perfectly OKAY to have an occasional un-expressed thought. It is also possible for one person to have a very good experience with a doctor, and for another to have a lesser experience. You're not responsible for anyone else's actions or reactions. Take the high road. Avoid these people. And, BTW, you were totally " set-up " in this situation. Coincidences like this just don't happen. Just my $.02 in Austin RNY April 1998 any advice? > I don't post often, but something happened yesterday that I needed > to share... > > I was invited to attend a " graduation party " When my surgery and weight > loss was brought up by my best friend, she asked me who was my > surgeon. When I told her it was Dr. Harrington, she told me I was > lucky to be alive, because " that man is a butcher " . It turns out > that her mother had RNY with Dr. Harrington, about six months before > I did, and had numerous complications, including a nicked bowel that > caused massive infection. She ended up going into surgery a total of > 10 times (several of these being with a different surgeon), almost > died twice, and at one point was in a coma for 5 days. > > Shortly after this, her mother arrived and we were introduced. > During our discussion (which quickly emptied the room lol) we never > became adversarial, but there were several things that really stood > out and had me biting my tongue. > > 1. She told me that repeated attempts to reach Dr. Harrington while > she was in the hospital went unanswered. This from the same man who > left a cocktail party early on his night off to come back to the > hospital and check up on me. (I had no real complications during my > surgery... I was in ICU for a day, but this had been planned due to > my sleep apnea and the need to monitor my oxygen levels). > > 2. She stated that she ended up needing counseling to help her deal > with the fact that she had so many complications as the result > of " what was supposed to be such a basic and simple procedure " . From > my initial consultation with Dr. Harrington to the last post I've > read today, this was the first time I've ever heard the RNY > described as anything other than major surgery. > > 3. When asked if she took her vitamins, she shrugged and said " I do > whenever I think about it, but I stay pretty busy most of the time. " > > 4. When asked about water, she responded " I don't drink much > water...95% of what I drink is either diet coke or coffee " (both of > which are on the " taboo " list my surgeon provides). > > 5. When I asked her about protein, she said that she doesn't use > supplements, but does try to eat mainly protein when she eats. While > she said this, I watched her make a plate of food consisting of > potato salad and batter dipped onion rings. > > I found myself eventually at a loss for words, and couldn't > understand how someone who had so many complications and issues with > her surgery could be so lackadaisical about her future health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2003 Report Share Posted June 15, 2003 In a message dated 6/15/2003 10:22:12 PM Eastern Standard Time, rhapsdyblu@... writes: > Well, thanks to all who read this... I guess I just needed to vent. > >The more I think about our conversation, the more frustrated I've > >become, and I'm at a loss for whether or not I should have handled > >it differently. > It has been my experience, that people like this are talkers and never listeners. She would not have heard you. Congrats on not wasting your time. By the way, I was in therapy for many years, it was the questions the doc asked (like you were asking) that did more than any lecture could have done. Fay Bayuk **300/168 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Click for My Profile <A HREF= " http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008 " >http:\ //obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008</A> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 16, 2003 Report Share Posted June 16, 2003 Amen! in NJ ************************* > > > It has been my experience, that people like this are talkers and never listeners. She would not have heard you. > > > > Fay Bayuk > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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