Guest guest Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 I AM SO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS LORI! I am experiencing theses same things! Who is that person I'm seeing? It is just so weird! I'm also 49 and decided I wanted to be healthy when I turn the big 5-0. And I want to look good. As for your " friends " , they just don't understand and they cannot comprehend what a new experience this is for us. That's why this is such a great site. We all understand exactly what everyone here is feeling and experiencing. Keep up the great job! And keep sharing here, we don't judge! Joyce B 268/220/ ? 1/15/04 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 Thank you for understanding. Isn't it wonderful to be able to look at yourself in a mirror and feel like " YEAH, YOU GO GIRL!!!! " There were so many times through the years when I would go to a restaurant and find myself looking at myself in a mirror. I couldn't stand it, I always changed places with someone. I used to sit in the passenger- side of my car when the dh was driving and see myself in theright sideview mirror and want to cry from total disgust! NOT ANYMORE AND HOPEFULLY IF I DO WHAT I'MSUPPOSED TO DO, NEVER AGAIN! lORIb > I find women are catty, all women. ANyways, i think the thin ones defiantley > do NOT understand our excitement over losing weight. They never had to have > this problem. I am thinking I would be very tempted to tell them how I feel and > what your hubby told you. I think they need to know you are NOT bragging but > are HAPPY. Maybe they are just IGNORANT. But you ahev a right to feel great > about yourself and I know i do too. I LOVE seeing a smaller me in pics and in > the mirror. i still have more to go but I am still a happy girl. Good Luck > everything > > > God Bless, > Robin, NorthEastern, NY > EDD- July 27th, 2004 > IT'S A BOY!!!!!! > Mommy to: > & > (twin boys 7 1/2), > Madison, daughter, 5 years and > Wife to Pup 15 years (October 31, 1988) > Gastric Bypass Surgery- > October 18th 2002 > Start-378, current- 246(pregnant) > goal 170 after baby > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 well some of these women are going through messey divorces, etc. Another gal is probly about 350 pounds and is probly jealous. She says she doesn't need the surgery cuz she is healthy and likes herself the way she is, but I see a lot of " sadness " in her face. You are right about even skinny people having low self esteem. The problem is I serve on the board of directors of my group and these are the people who are giving me the rough time (just some of them). I'm considering dropping off the board. Thanks for your response > LoriB, > > That is a tough one. I have never lost the weight and had to deal with that, but here is my two cents worth. One thing that you have to keep in mind is that these people do not know the euphoria that you are feeling. They don't know what it is like to not be able to live your life and now all of a sudden you can. They have no reference point from where you have come. Another thing is that even skinny people can have low self-esteem. And some people can be very intimidated by people who have good self-esteem. That may also be a problem that you are facing. These people may not feel good about themselves and they don't understand or are jealous that you do. I have encountered that before. You don't have to be fat to have low self-esteem. Now neither of these reasons give them the right to be talking behind your back. You look to these people as your friends and they should treat you as their friend. Now, what you do with this is your call. You can ask them about it to try and reconcile your friendship, because if you don't it will always be hanging over you. Or you can move on and try and find people who are truly your friends and will except you no matter what you look like or how you feel about yourself. I hope that some of that helps, and that is just my two cents. But you continue to live your life and enjoy every day of it and don't you dare let anyone get in the way of that. > > Dora > > My " friends " > > > Here's a good one: Tell me how you really feel but please be kind!!!! > > Okay, I've just dropped almost 80 pounds since October 3, 2003. I am > feeling proud of myself. I'm driving my husband nuts cuz I can't > stop looking at myself in mirrors, windows, anything that will show > me! I felt so horrible about myself for so many years and to see > this thin little face, blows my mind! Anyway, my co-workers are all > so happy for me. They compliment me constantly. It's embarrassing, > but I handle it graciously. Now my " friends " are another thing. I > belong to an organization that I am very active in. I thought most > of these people were really happy for me. I haven't been bragging > all that much with them even tho they are my " friends " . Immediately > after the surgery, I was asking the thin ladies how much they weighed > to gage what I would look like. I would say " How much do you > weigh? " They would smile and tell me maybe like - 135 and I > said " I'm going to be right down there with you someday!! " Then they > would smile and tell me how great that was... . A bunch of pictures > were taken of me and this group and I made a couple of comments about > how I couldn't believe it was actually " me " in those pix! People > seemed happy for me, were patting me on the back, etc. > > Well that was a few months ago and now I'm finding these people are > throwing these things back in my face when I'm not around. My dh > went to a meeting that I didnt go to and he told me people were > saying nasty stuff like " Well, you should have heard Lori asking > people how much they weighed.... " or " You should have heard her when > she saw a picture of herself... " I feel like they have turned on > me. I thought cuz they were my friends and were all thin I could say > this stuff to them. I won't say anything around them about my weight > anymore I guess. By the way it's all women who are saying this stuff. > > Can you all understand what I'm going through here? My Gosh, I was > so heavy and looked so awful for soooo many years. I am 49 and think > that I am just now finally really starting to like myself. I had > almost 48 years of extremely low self esteem. > > That's it, just needed to vent. Has anyone else experienced mean- > ness from people they thought were their friends after weight loss? > > Thanks > > LoriB > LAPRNY 10/3/04 228/151/130 > ft laud fl > dr. english > > P.S. Just found out I can tolerate sugar. This is not good. We all > have to remember: We have a TOOL! That's all the pouch is, a tool! > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 Yes you are correct Thank God we have this group where everyone identifies! I LOVE MY LIFE! (at least most of the time these days!!) I just went on a plane for the first time since I lost weight and I was able to get the seat belt on with about four inches to spare, I was able to put my tray down and not have it sitting on my stomach!!! It was actually about three inches away from me! and there was actually extra room in my seat. I too wanted to be " foxy at 50 " !!!! I THINK IT WILL HAPPEN (-: GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK! > I AM SO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS LORI! > I am experiencing theses same things! Who is that person I'm seeing? It is > just so weird! I'm also 49 and decided I wanted to be healthy when I turn the > big 5-0. And I want to look good. > As for your " friends " , they just don't understand and they cannot comprehend > what a new experience this is for us. That's why this is such a great site. > We all understand exactly what everyone here is feeling and experiencing. > Keep up the great job! And keep sharing here, we don't judge! > Joyce B > 268/220/ ? > 1/15/04 > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 hey loriB, amiga. i agree w/ the input from the group. these so called friends need to be downgraded to acquaintances, u frankly do not need their baggage. continue working on the mission of the board, but no need for self disclosure or sharing w/ these folks. don't let 'em get u down, you're working on the new u. keep on keeping on & CHIN UP, hunny. & u can always make connections @ in-person wls support groups. my miami wls budds are some of the most outstanding ppl i ever met. ( & coincidentally, there's a handful of us in the legal profession...) lori h. > well some of these women are going through messey divorces, etc. > Another gal is probly about 350 pounds and is probly jealous. She > says she doesn't need the surgery cuz she is healthy and likes > herself the way she is, but I see a lot of " sadness " in her face. You > are right about even skinny people having low self esteem. > > The problem is I serve on the board of directors of my group and > these are the people who are giving me the rough time (just some of > them). I'm considering dropping off the board. > Thanks for your response Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 Thanks Lor, " we'll talk " !!!! I plan to start going back to my support group in June for sure. > > well some of these women are going through messey divorces, etc. > > Another gal is probly about 350 pounds and is probly jealous. She > > says she doesn't need the surgery cuz she is healthy and likes > > herself the way she is, but I see a lot of " sadness " in her face. > You > > are right about even skinny people having low self esteem. > > > > The problem is I serve on the board of directors of my group and > > these are the people who are giving me the rough time (just some > of > > them). I'm considering dropping off the board. > > Thanks for your response Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 Hi Friends, Oh do I know what you are going through and I am Pre-op! I have a very dear friend,thin one that is,who I share everything with. We have been like sisters for 20 years. Well low and behold, she is trying to talk me out of WLS. She knows how I feel and how much I want to live a normal life with less weight. Now that I am seeing a psy that treats eating disorders, she thinks I will be able to loose on my own. Her words to me this AM, " When you work through why you over eat, you will loose. " My goodness would that not be wonderful! Why did I not think of it 40 years ago...LOL...I think thin folks just have no idea what we go through, medical problems, as well as all the other side effects. So you go girlfriend, tell everyone how much you have lost and how grand you feel about yourself. Surely to God, they have their own disabilities, perhaps mental ones!!! I am very proud for you. One day soon I will be where you are, on the other side! Marla > > I AM SO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS LORI! > > I am experiencing theses same things! Who is that person I'm > seeing? It is > > just so weird! I'm also 49 and decided I wanted to be healthy when > I turn the > > big 5-0. And I want to look good. > > As for your " friends " , they just don't understand and they cannot > comprehend > > what a new experience this is for us. That's why this is such a > great site. > > We all understand exactly what everyone here is feeling and > experiencing. > > Keep up the great job! And keep sharing here, we don't judge! > > Joyce B > > 268/220/ ? > > 1/15/04 > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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