any advice?

[Guest guest]

I don't post often, but something happened yesterday that I needed

to share...

I was invited to attend a " graduation party " (which was really just

the official reason for all of the adults to have a cookout lol)

hosted by a friend of my best friend. Several people at the party

hadn't seen me since my surgery, and were amazed at the changes they

saw in me, not only physically but emotionally as well. I was then

introduced to the ex-wife of the host. When my surgery and weight

loss was brought up by my best friend, she asked me who was my

surgeon. When I told her it was Dr. Harrington, she told me I was

lucky to be alive, because " that man is a butcher " . It turns out

that her mother had RNY with Dr. Harrington, about six months before

I did, and had numerous complications, including a nicked bowel that

caused massive infection. She ended up going into surgery a total of

10 times (several of these being with a different surgeon), almost

died twice, and at one point was in a coma for 5 days.

Shortly after this, her mother arrived and we were introduced.

During our discussion (which quickly emptied the room lol) we never

became adversarial, but there were several things that really stood

out and had me biting my tongue.

1. She told me that repeated attempts to reach Dr. Harrington while

she was in the hospital went unanswered. This from the same man who

left a cocktail party early on his night off to come back to the

hospital and check up on me. (I had no real complications during my

surgery... I was in ICU for a day, but this had been planned due to

my sleep apnea and the need to monitor my oxygen levels).

2. She stated that she ended up needing counseling to help her deal

with the fact that she had so many complications as the result

of " what was supposed to be such a basic and simple procedure " . From

my initial consultation with Dr. Harrington to the last post I've

read today, this was the first time I've ever heard the RNY

described as anything other than major surgery.

3. When asked if she took her vitamins, she shrugged and said " I do

whenever I think about it, but I stay pretty busy most of the time. "

4. When asked about water, she responded " I don't drink much

water...95% of what I drink is either diet coke or coffee " (both of

which are on the " taboo " list my surgeon provides).

5. When I asked her about protein, she said that she doesn't use

supplements, but does try to eat mainly protein when she eats. While

she said this, I watched her make a plate of food consisting of

potato salad and batter dipped onion rings.

I found myself eventually at a loss for words, and couldn't

understand how someone who had so many complications and issues with

her surgery could be so lackadaisical about her future health. I

felt the need to admonish her for not making much of an effort to

follow the post-op guidelines, and also to defend the man who

literally saved my life, but did not want to confront her about

something that was obviously such a sore subject with her. So I kept

my mouth shut...

Well, thanks to all who read this... I guess I just needed to vent.

The more I think about our conversation, the more frustrated I've

become, and I'm at a loss for whether or not I should have handled

it differently.

Monte in VA

LAP RNY 1/30/02

Dr. Harrington/Commonwealth Surgeons

01/30/02 Wt. - 660

05/09/02 Wt. - 298 (-362)