Re: Thinking twice about surgery...is it worth it?

[Guest guest]

,

I am questioning the same topic as yours. It has been almost a year now

thinking about having second-round brace plus surgery. I want to teach

international college when I graduate, and more than that I want to join any

organization in this world to help poor people with policy and public

administration in my 40s. In the begining, I thought I shouldn't worry that much

about my looks since there are so many hungry people/children in this world not

having even food to eat!!! Then, why do I have to pay a lot to do surgery, and

follow what the materialistic world wants me to look like, i.e., straight

profile, which they lebel it as " a normal profile " ? But after a while, I start

to realize that I have to be in this world, can't avoid the materialistic things

and the way people judge my looks, unless I become a hermit!! Improving my

self-esteem is only one tool to drive me forward in my career goal because it

make me feel confident contacting with people (now I am kind of hiding person

becuase of my jaw and my look). I believe onece I gain more confidence about

myself and have more self-esteem, I sure will have more brain, will, and energy

left to devote to my goal in helping people or at least teaching people. I

guess,it is not selfish to do this since the fact is that " we have to be happy

with ourselves fisrt (emotionally and mentally), to help other people to be

happy "

You are very lucky having a very supporting parent. If they agree to pay and

travel with you, that mean they see something in the future. This world is so

competing and to getting a job, may be you need a poise, confident,a nd outgoing

personality which your parent see through it. If you think your are selfish

doing this/pay for thus just to improve your looks, why don't you promise with

yourself to do something good back to our society and your supporting parent

once you gain lots of self-esteem, be happy with your look, and probably some

talents that you may have. Use your great opportunity that some one might not

have to make yourself happy and to help out other people in the future.

Just my two cents.

Thank

Sai

OHara wrote:

I am planning to have upper and lower surgery (for my underbite) as

well as an upper palate expansion sometime in the next year and a

half. My surgeon is a full day of traveling away (I'm from NY, he's

in NC), and I'm going to him because supposedly my case is very

complicated and I need a very experienced surgeon. I'm a college

student and I'm lucky enough to have my parents' support, insurance,

and financial advantages.

We've already flown to NC once for the initial evaluation, and we'll

be flying back there many many more times. However, when I look

back at this short excursion to NC and all the trouble my parents

are going through to make this happen for me, I feel insanely

selfish. I am in no pain in my current jaw situation, and although

it creates functional problems in terms of my bite, chewing,

speaking, and general movement of the jaw, I know that this surgery

isn't a necessity for my survival. I also know that if my underbite

didn't create such self-esteem issues, and if the surgery wasn't

going to have any positive physical changes, I wouldn't be going

through with the surgery. I'm not expecting to look much different,

and my main concern is having a functional bite in the end. I know

that with this I can at least expect to have my underbite fixed, and

this will change my life in so many ways.

But is this enough?? My self-esteem will likely improve and I'll

have a functional bite. Is that worth all the days of traveling,

money spent on orthodontic work and higher insurance rates, and

stress I'm putting my parents through? The more serious I become

about having surgery, the more I start to question myself. I know

I'm a very strong person and can handle having this

extreme " deformity " for the rest of my life. I start to feel like

such a baby (and did I mention selfish) for wanting to have my bite

fixed when I think about all the other horrid problems people have

around the world.

I can't tell you how badly I want a functional bite, but I can't get

these feelings out of my head. Has anyone else felt similarly?

Thanks for listening.

---------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Your parents must be extremely proud of you . Your concern

and insight is very admirable. You might share the concerns and

questions you have posed here with your parents to get their imput

as well, as it sounds like you are very close with them, and they

are supportive of you. They know your exact situation and can be

helpful to you in your decision making process.

I can share with you what it is like to NOT do this at a younger

age. I have an underbite and shortened jaw (short upper and lower).

I have always eaten in an odd manner, but due to several individual

structural reasons (that I have found all have names in the

dentist's world lol), my problem doesn't show much cosmetically, but

the functional effects compound with aging processes and wear and

tear over the years. My teeth have worn abnormally, my bite has

become progressively worse, and my other teeth and expensive dental

work I have had over the years are shifting and changing rapidly at

this point. My teeth are now less than half the normal length. My

tongue doesn't fit in my mouth both from the shortened dental arches

and the underbite, so it is difficult to mobilize food in my mouth

at all. I choke easily and often. Even with saliva. My tongue

doesn't have room to do its job. But cosmetically, it still

doesn't look bad, though now I admit I can see this is going on

too. In my younger days it really didn't show up at all. I don't

think cosmetic concern, though a realistic reason for chosing to do

this, is the primary reason to consider it.

I am now 51 and looking at having this to do. I would have much

preferred doing this when I was younger and the risks were

significantly reduced because of the increased risks just of being

older. Now that I know that the headaches, jaw aches and extra

dental work I have had were needless if this had been done earlier,

I definately would have chosen to do this in my teens or twenties if

it had been an option for me. I think you are in a wonderful

situation for having this done. You have financial help with

insurance and your parents support, you have emotional and recovery

support with them as well. And you have youth on your side. You

will avoid a whole lifetime of not only having the difficulties you

have now, but of progressive problems from the complex dental

mechanics you have. I am now looking at 3-4 years to have mine

done. It is a daunting prospect, but one I must now do to avoid

greater problems when I am even older.

But this is just my situation. I hope you will consider having a

serious sit-down and heartfelt discussion with your parents. Just

from what you have said, I believe you will have an honest and warm

discussion and receive excellent advice from them. And though I

know they must already be proud of you, I think they will respect

the values you hold all on your own. Good luck to you in your

decision .

Hugs,

Fran

>

> I am planning to have upper and lower surgery (for my underbite)

as

> well as an upper palate expansion sometime in the next year and a

> half. My surgeon is a full day of traveling away (I'm from NY,

he's

> in NC), and I'm going to him because supposedly my case is very

> complicated and I need a very experienced surgeon. I'm a college

> student and I'm lucky enough to have my parents' support,

insurance,

> and financial advantages.

>

> We've already flown to NC once for the initial evaluation, and

we'll

> be flying back there many many more times. However, when I look

> back at this short excursion to NC and all the trouble my parents

> are going through to make this happen for me, I feel insanely

> selfish. I am in no pain in my current jaw situation, and

although

> it creates functional problems in terms of my bite, chewing,

> speaking, and general movement of the jaw, I know that this

surgery

> isn't a necessity for my survival. I also know that if my

underbite

> didn't create such self-esteem issues, and if the surgery wasn't

> going to have any positive physical changes, I wouldn't be going

> through with the surgery. I'm not expecting to look much

different,

> and my main concern is having a functional bite in the end. I

know

> that with this I can at least expect to have my underbite fixed,

and

> this will change my life in so many ways.

>

> But is this enough?? My self-esteem will likely improve and I'll

> have a functional bite. Is that worth all the days of traveling,

> money spent on orthodontic work and higher insurance rates, and

> stress I'm putting my parents through? The more serious I become

> about having surgery, the more I start to question myself. I know

> I'm a very strong person and can handle having this

> extreme " deformity " for the rest of my life. I start to feel like

> such a baby (and did I mention selfish) for wanting to have my

bite

> fixed when I think about all the other horrid problems people have

> around the world.

>

> I can't tell you how badly I want a functional bite, but I can't

get

> these feelings out of my head. Has anyone else felt similarly?

> Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

,

I'm also a college student in my junior year who is beginning the long

and overwhelming process. Over Christmas break I went to an

orthodontist thinking that braces would be the answer to my problem

and instead I left in tears knowing that the only way I would ever

have a beautiful smile is through jaw surgery. It also didn't help

that my mom at the time was pretty opposed to the whole idea (as moms

in general don't want to see their children on an operating table).

After both of us were able to calm down, we realized that the surgery

needed to be done, as the crookedness of my front teeth was becoming

more noticeable each day due to the movement of my jaw.

And just like you, I do not have physical problems of any kind with my

teeth or bite. There's no pain. But my reasons for getting the work

done are two fold. First of all, I want to have a beautiful smile. I

have always been self-conscious about the way my teeth look and I

don't think theres anything wrong with undergoing the surgery to make

yourself look and feel better. Thus, the first thing most people

notice when they meet a new person is their teeth. I know I do.

Secondly, there is the possibility for me to have problems down the

road if I choose not to correct my bite. My father has suffered

terrible pain with TMJ as well as other problems with his teeth and

gums. He has had to spend lots of money to correct these things. My

outlook is that I would rather invest now in surgery then have to

invest even more in my later years.

Your right in a sense that the surgery is not necessary to your

survival, but from reading the other posts on this site, people are

glad they had it done. Of course the surgery could never compare to

what other people such as victims of war have to experience, but it

doesn't make you a selfish person for wanting to improve your

appearance. I would say you were vain if you continuously got plastic

surgery and worried only about your own self-interests (!), but you

sound like a person with a generous heart.

Undergoing jaw surgery is a serious commitment, so its important that

your comfortable with your decision. If you still have serious

concerns, mabey you should put the treatment process on hold for a

while, until you know for sure whether your ready to undergo this.

Since you mentioned your from NY, would there be any other OS closer

to you who has experience with treating your type of condition? It

does seem like a quite of a journey to go from NY to NC.

My own treatment plan will involve having surgical palate

expansion/wisdom teeth removal/lower/genio.

I wish you the best with whatever decision you make.

Regards,

Kate

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

You sound like you are in a similar situation I was in. Well I did

pay for the surgery myself, but living in BC,Canada this only cost

$4500 for upper and lower jaw surgery. I am 13 days post op and I

would have told you the day after that it was the best decision I

ever made!

I have been told since I was in my early teens I needed it done but I

kept telling myself 'I don't need to have a perfect smile, I refuse

to fall to societal pressures that I have to be perfect'. So I told

myself that for many years until I was in my mid twenties and my

friends started to get married and I saw their beautiful wedding pics

and I thought, I am never going to look like that when I get married,

I am never going to be happy with pictures or my profile...ever. So I

decided I was going to have it done. You can check out my profile in

the photos sections 'Jenu224'...I have an underbite. I am going to be

posting my new pics as soon as the swelling goes down a bit more and

you will see the results, it's awesome and I am so so happy!!

Like you, I didn't have any functional issues, but still my surgery

was not considered 'cosmetic' as my upper jaw needed to be expanded

as it was too small and my teeth were all crowded up top. The

smallness of my upper jaw made my lower jaw look much bigger than it

really was. There was always the possibility of my condition getting

worse in years to come. I wish I hadn't waited as long as I did now

that I am 26 years old.

I had no pain following the surgery, I took no Tylenol 3's, I had

minimal bruising. I stayed one night in the hospital and stuck to

soups and smoothies the first week or so. I am eating Shepherd's pie

now and pasta and softer foods. My swelling is going down everyday.

One guy who was in surgery the same day as me, his swelling was gone

by day 9! You need a good support system to get through this well and

every case is different but believe me I have not talked to one

person who regretted going through with it all.

I wish you luck in your decision! Check and see how many of these

types of operations your surgeon has done, what percentage had

infections, needed a second operation etc. My surgeon has done 6,000

of my types of surgeries, but from what I have heard that is a ton!

Praying for guidance always helped me too

Cheers, Jen