Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 , I totally understand where you are coming from. I didnt realize how that as an obese person my closest friends are obese also. I do know that it made it easier for me to " gain weight " pre-op I am in no way saying it was there fault what I mean is that I felt more comfortable eating bigger portions, and the wrong choices " if I was around my thinner friends I ALWAYS picked a salad or something small, even though I was still STARVING after the meal. Now I can do things physically that my friends cant and it is hard for me because I as you do not want to lose my friends but know that I want to do more physical activity. I told my husband I dont have to be the SPECTATOR of life anymore I am a player, a participant. I am sure this will make sense to you guys. Has anyone else longer post-op experienced this? My surgery was in October 05 so I am just now getting size wise where I can do pretty much anything. My husband was so excited we went to a sports store and he could buy me all the cute NIKE outfits that I could have never gotten into,, AND I was a large not even a XL Yeahh!!!! Kristie ---- Junior wrote: > This past weekend, my two friends and I went to the Black Forest (Germany) and then over to France for a few hours. > > I had surgery on 8 Aug 2005 and since then, I have lost about 128 pounds. My clothes are a little baggy because I am still losing even while I tone. I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe just yet. But I am sure that I wear 12/14. Which is wonderful for me. I love it. > > My friends each weigh over 300 pounds. At one point we were all obese and now I am not. While on this road trip with them, we stopped to eat at various locations. I had brought my snacks (fruit, nuts, vitamins, water, peanut butter crackers....and crystal lights tea packets). I ate a little bit to keep me going all day. I didnt notice that they ate too much but just maybe the wrong foods (like greasy). I cant eat that. > > When we got to the Triberg waterfalls, we paid to go to the top of the hill but we didnt make it because they were so out of breath and tired. I played it off by saying that my energy was low. I didnt want them to feel bad because I could have run to the top. It hurt me to watch my friends struggle all day. At another point, I pulled out my peanut butter crackers and ate a few and even offered it to them and some of my water but they each declined. After walking for about 1/2 hour, they were hungry but I wasnt. So they ate some fries and some kind of bagette with stuff on it. > > Even though they offered their food to me, I explained that I could not eat that and that it made me feel ill. They said that they could never have the surgery because they would miss enjoying their food and that I had to now eat bland foods for the rest of my life. I didnt take offense but it did hurt my feelings. Now my friends and I dont have food in common and we dont have weight issues (loss of breath, high sugar/blood pressure levels, sweating profusely...etc). I dont want new friends, I love my friends. But it felt like I couldn't do anything and all day, I treaded thin ice. > > I am very respectful and would never do or say anything to hurt anyone especially about weight because I was once obese. I totally understand. > > I researched this surgery and I prayed with all my heart that I would recover well from it. I wanted to do everything that obesity would not allow me to do. And I felt really bad all day about my decision. And both friends made me feel bad by saying things like (I will lose weight on my own) or (, you're gonna gain it back by eating all those meals [my snacks]) or (you take too many vitamins) or (you will have to have your surgery monitored for the rest of your life)....blah, blah, blah > > I didnt say anything. I did notice that several people spoke ill of my friends. Since I understand German, I glared hard at them with anger. Some young people laughed or made jokes and I heard them and I did the same. I felt like I was on the defense. > > Needless to say, I don't know if I enjoyed my roadtrip because I was either hurt or angry. I was glad when the day ended and when I went to sleep, I prayed that I would figure out what to do. > > Sincerely, > > > > --------------------------------- > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 I only had a couple of overweight friends, but my brother is very heavy, and so I understand what you are talking about. Oddly enough, he has been the only one that has been negative about the surgery at all...but he was very worried about me, and you know...it meant he is now the only one that is overweight in my family. I try to be supportive of him, and he's trying to make good choices. I'm trying not to sabotauge those efforts by plying him with food. But, you know...they will either come around or they won't. If they start treating you like the pariah...it's only their insecurity, and you may want to directly confront it: " I love both of you so much, and you are my dear friends. I made a choice to change my life with surgery after doing a lot of research. I am following dr.'s orders with regard to how I eat...and with time, after I get down to where I want to be and my body has healed, I will probably be able to eat more of a variety of foods. But, I'm being conservative right now, and I don't want to sabotage myself. I respect and understand your fear about this surgery...and you guys can do whatever you want with regard to your health decisions. They are personal and private decisions. And, I'm in your corner. But, please, respect mine. When you say things that are negative, it makes me feel defensive...and uncomfortable. This has been a wonderful decision for me. I couldn't lose the weight on my own. My health was compromised. Now, I have a lot more energy, and I'm happier, and I like myself more. It has been a good decision for me. In fact, I've played down how much more energy I have, out of respect for you guys. But, I realize that by so doing, you may have a false impression of what life after surgery is all about, so I've decided to come clean. I'm healthy and happy...and being light is more important to me than being able to eat french fries. It just is. I couldn't imagine that before the surgery...but now, it is just really true. I don't feel superior to you, I just feel lucky. And I'm proud of myself for sticking to the program...because there is some work involved in this journey. And I'm doing the work. So, please...I just ask that you remember that I have already had the surgery...I'm not reversing it...so you may as well be supportive of my decision. And don't worry about me gaining the weight. I'm keeping my eye out, and I won't make this surgery for nothing. Trust me. And thank you for being concerned, I know you love me, and that means the world to me. " As to their comments causing you any doubt...well, if they were weightloss experts, they wouldn't be obese, now would they? You eat in a way that works for you. You've done your research. You probably weigh yourself regularly, and you see if you are going the wrong direction on the scale, you've got to adjust what you are doing. You'll be able to keep it off. Robynn --- hollotwomn@... wrote: > , > I totally understand where you are coming from. I > didnt realize how that as an obese person my closest > friends are obese also. I do know that it made it > easier for me to " gain weight " pre-op I am in no way > saying it was there fault what I mean is that I felt > more comfortable eating bigger portions, and the > wrong choices " if I was around my thinner friends I > ALWAYS picked a salad or something small, even > though I was still STARVING after the meal. Now I > can do things physically that my friends cant and it > is hard for me because I as you do not want to lose > my friends but know that I want to do more physical > activity. I told my husband I dont have to be the > SPECTATOR of life anymore I am a player, a > participant. I am sure this will make sense to you > guys. Has anyone else longer post-op experienced > this? My surgery was in October 05 so I am just now > getting size wise where I can do pretty much > anything. My husband was so excited we went to a > sports store and he could buy me all the cute NIKE > outfits that I could have never gotten into,, AND I > was a large not even a XL Yeahh!!!! > > > Kristie > > > > > ---- Junior wrote: > > This past weekend, my two friends and I went to > the Black Forest (Germany) and then over to France > for a few hours. > > > > I had surgery on 8 Aug 2005 and since then, I > have lost about 128 pounds. My clothes are a little > baggy because I am still losing even while I tone. > I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe just > yet. But I am sure that I wear 12/14. Which is > wonderful for me. I love it. > > > > My friends each weigh over 300 pounds. At one > point we were all obese and now I am not. While on > this road trip with them, we stopped to eat at > various locations. I had brought my snacks (fruit, > nuts, vitamins, water, peanut butter crackers....and > crystal lights tea packets). I ate a little bit to > keep me going all day. I didnt notice that they ate > too much but just maybe the wrong foods (like > greasy). I cant eat that. > > > > When we got to the Triberg waterfalls, we paid > to go to the top of the hill but we didnt make it > because they were so out of breath and tired. I > played it off by saying that my energy was low. I > didnt want them to feel bad because I could have run > to the top. It hurt me to watch my friends struggle > all day. At another point, I pulled out my peanut > butter crackers and ate a few and even offered it to > them and some of my water but they each declined. > After walking for about 1/2 hour, they were hungry > but I wasnt. So they ate some fries and some kind > of bagette with stuff on it. > > > > Even though they offered their food to me, I > explained that I could not eat that and that it made > me feel ill. They said that they could never have > the surgery because they would miss enjoying their > food and that I had to now eat bland foods for the > rest of my life. I didnt take offense but it did > hurt my feelings. Now my friends and I dont have > food in common and we dont have weight issues (loss > of breath, high sugar/blood pressure levels, > sweating profusely...etc). I dont want new friends, > I love my friends. But it felt like I couldn't do > anything and all day, I treaded thin ice. > > > > I am very respectful and would never do or say > anything to hurt anyone especially about weight > because I was once obese. I totally understand. > > > > I researched this surgery and I prayed with all > my heart that I would recover well from it. I > wanted to do everything that obesity would not allow > me to do. And I felt really bad all day about my > decision. And both friends made me feel bad by > saying things like (I will lose weight on my own) or > (, you're gonna gain it back by eating all > those meals [my snacks]) or (you take too many > vitamins) or (you will have to have your surgery > monitored for the rest of your life)....blah, blah, > blah > > > > I didnt say anything. I did notice that several > people spoke ill of my friends. Since I understand > German, I glared hard at them with anger. Some > young people laughed or made jokes and I heard them > and I did the same. I felt like I was on the > defense. > > > > Needless to say, I don't know if I enjoyed my > roadtrip because I was either hurt or angry. I was > glad when the day ended and when I went to sleep, I > prayed that I would figure out what to do. > > > > Sincerely, > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make > PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 , I understand what you mean about the things that people say about the surgery. My husband's cousin is obese and she was relating that since she doesn't have a boyfriend that all she has is food so why lose that. I wanted to say you don't have a boyfriend BECAUSE you are fat. But then I realised that I have a husband and I was fat. It is the fear of losing something that shields you from the pain. When in reality it causes more. I haven't had the surgery that long ago but I can tell you that I wouldn't go back for anything. I am sorry that you found out that your 'new' life may not include those friends anymore. I am coming to that right now. One of my most dearest friends hasn't even called back to see how I am after my surgery. I just leave voice mails. It really hurts but I guess it is for the best. Keep up the good work, Bobbie Jo 4-10-2006 199 today 160! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 I took a lot of crap from a lot of people because after my heart attack, I did what they told me to do and lost 75 pounds. But my health deteriorated, my metabolism changed, I gained weight back, and even though I tried the exact same cardiac rehab routine again, the results were virtually nil. My family knew I hadn't changed my routines, but that my health and my body had changed - they knew I wasn't cheating. But most other people just assumed I blew it, and that surgery was my coward's way out. Truth is, I was in a race - losse weight and save my heart or die in five years. I won the race (well, with the cancer, we don'[t know about the dead in five yeras part yet!) by having the surgery, but you could not tell how my health had changed just by looking at me or seeing how much I weighed. People who know nothig will say things. You can choose to educate them or you can ignore them. But choose your own path, where you have done so well! Randy > > > > , > > I understand what you mean about the things that people say about the > surgery. My husband's cousin is obese and she was relating that since > she doesn't have a boyfriend that all she has is food so why lose that. > I wanted to say you don't have a boyfriend BECAUSE you are fat. But > then I realised that I have a husband and I was fat. It is the fear of > losing something that shields you from the pain. When in reality it > causes more. I haven't had the surgery that long ago but I can tell you > that I wouldn't go back for anything. > > I am sorry that you found out that your 'new' life may not include those > friends anymore. I am coming to that right now. One of my most dearest > friends hasn't even called back to see how I am after my surgery. I > just leave voice mails. It really hurts but I guess it is for the best. > > Keep up the good work, > > Bobbie Jo > > 4-10-2006 199 > > today 160! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Junior I totally understand where you are coming from. I have a few heavy friends, and I kind of went through a similar situation. I just confronted them, you eat what you like, I eat what I like, it's your choice if you eat healthy or not, I plan to eat healthy and keep my weight off. If I could of made it to the top, I would of said I'm going to the top and I'll meet you here. I don't com-premise things I really want to do anymore. I understand they were tired, so they would rest while I finished. They would see how well you are doing. Then when they say your eating to much, say I am also burning off the extra calories, I went further than you did. Not to put them down to understand where you are coming from.It's not nice for people to be mean to obese people, but we all know to well this has happened so many times in our life. I understand you where giving angry looks to the mean people, just after it was done did you let it go or did you stay mad. You have to learn not to hold on to the anger or it will mess with what you are doing.After I confronted my friends, they don't complain about the way I eat, and they eat what they want, but they have joined swim aerobics now with me. They may not go every time, but they do more than I expected and I notice when we eat together they watch what and how much I eat and I've noticed them eating less. One has even started to lose a few pounds.So keep your friends, and remember if they are your true friends you can confront them in a nice way and it shouldn't cause problems. Take care. Donna J Junior wrote: This past weekend, my two friends and I went to the Black Forest (Germany) and then over to France for a few hours. I had surgery on 8 Aug 2005 and since then, I have lost about 128 pounds. My clothes are a little baggy because I am still losing even while I tone. I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe just yet. But I am sure that I wear 12/14. Which is wonderful for me. I love it. My friends each weigh over 300 pounds. At one point we were all obese and now I am not. While on this road trip with them, we stopped to eat at various locations. I had brought my snacks (fruit, nuts, vitamins, water, peanut butter crackers....and crystal lights tea packets). I ate a little bit to keep me going all day. I didnt notice that they ate too much but just maybe the wrong foods (like greasy). I cant eat that. When we got to the Triberg waterfalls, we paid to go to the top of the hill but we didnt make it because they were so out of breath and tired. I played it off by saying that my energy was low. I didnt want them to feel bad because I could have run to the top. It hurt me to watch my friends struggle all day. At another point, I pulled out my peanut butter crackers and ate a few and even offered it to them and some of my water but they each declined. After walking for about 1/2 hour, they were hungry but I wasnt. So they ate some fries and some kind of bagette with stuff on it. Even though they offered their food to me, I explained that I could not eat that and that it made me feel ill. They said that they could never have the surgery because they would miss enjoying their food and that I had to now eat bland foods for the rest of my life. I didnt take offense but it did hurt my feelings. Now my friends and I dont have food in common and we dont have weight issues (loss of breath, high sugar/blood pressure levels, sweating profusely...etc). I dont want new friends, I love my friends. But it felt like I couldn't do anything and all day, I treaded thin ice. I am very respectful and would never do or say anything to hurt anyone especially about weight because I was once obese. I totally understand. I researched this surgery and I prayed with all my heart that I would recover well from it. I wanted to do everything that obesity would not allow me to do. And I felt really bad all day about my decision. And both friends made me feel bad by saying things like (I will lose weight on my own) or (, you're gonna gain it back by eating all those meals [my snacks]) or (you take too many vitamins) or (you will have to have your surgery monitored for the rest of your life)....blah, blah, blah I didnt say anything. I did notice that several people spoke ill of my friends. Since I understand German, I glared hard at them with anger. Some young people laughed or made jokes and I heard them and I did the same. I felt like I was on the defense. Needless to say, I don't know if I enjoyed my roadtrip because I was either hurt or angry. I was glad when the day ended and when I went to sleep, I prayed that I would figure out what to do. Sincerely, Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1�/min. Donna JordonDSJordon@... Groups are talking. We´re listening. Check out the handy changes to Yahoo! Groups. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 KristieI so understand, I am doing so much more, I am trying new things, and am so active and feel like I can't do enough. I love it. Take care. Donna Jhollotwomn@... wrote: , I totally understand where you are coming from. I didnt realize how that as an obese person my closest friends are obese also. I do know that it made it easier for me to "gain weight" pre-op I am in no way saying it was there fault what I mean is that I felt more comfortable eating bigger portions, and the wrong choices" if I was around my thinner friends I ALWAYS picked a salad or something small, even though I was still STARVING after the meal. Now I can do things physically that my friends cant and it is hard for me because I as you do not want to lose my friends but know that I want to do more physical activity. I told my husband I dont have to be the SPECTATOR of life anymore I am a player, a participant. I am sure this will make sense to you guys. Has anyone else longer post-op experienced this? My surgery was in October 05 so I am just now getting size wise where I can do pretty much anything. My husband was so excited we went to a sports store and he could buy me all the cute NIKE outfits that I could have never gotten into,, AND I was a large not even a XL Yeahh!!!! Kristie ---- Junior <laura_junior (AT) yahoo (DOT) com> wrote: > This past weekend, my two friends and I went to the Black Forest (Germany) and then over to France for a few hours. > > I had surgery on 8 Aug 2005 and since then, I have lost about 128 pounds. My clothes are a little baggy because I am still losing even while I tone. I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe just yet. But I am sure that I wear 12/14. Which is wonderful for me. I love it. > > My friends each weigh over 300 pounds. At one point we were all obese and now I am not. While on this road trip with them, we stopped to eat at various locations. I had brought my snacks (fruit, nuts, vitamins, water, peanut butter crackers....and crystal lights tea packets). I ate a little bit to keep me going all day. I didnt notice that they ate too much but just maybe the wrong foods (like greasy). I cant eat that. > > When we got to the Triberg waterfalls, we paid to go to the top of the hill but we didnt make it because they were so out of breath and tired. I played it off by saying that my energy was low. I didnt want them to feel bad because I could have run to the top. It hurt me to watch my friends struggle all day. At another point, I pulled out my peanut butter crackers and ate a few and even offered it to them and some of my water but they each declined. After walking for about 1/2 hour, they were hungry but I wasnt. So they ate some fries and some kind of bagette with stuff on it. > > Even though they offered their food to me, I explained that I could not eat that and that it made me feel ill. They said that they could never have the surgery because they would miss enjoying their food and that I had to now eat bland foods for the rest of my life. I didnt take offense but it did hurt my feelings. Now my friends and I dont have food in common and we dont have weight issues (loss of breath, high sugar/blood pressure levels, sweating profusely...etc). I dont want new friends, I love my friends. But it felt like I couldn't do anything and all day, I treaded thin ice. > > I am very respectful and would never do or say anything to hurt anyone especially about weight because I was once obese. I totally understand. > > I researched this surgery and I prayed with all my heart that I would recover well from it. I wanted to do everything that obesity would not allow me to do. And I felt really bad all day about my decision. And both friends made me feel bad by saying things like (I will lose weight on my own) or (, you're gonna gain it back by eating all those meals [my snacks]) or (you take too many vitamins) or (you will have to have your surgery monitored for the rest of your life)....blah, blah, blah > > I didnt say anything. I did notice that several people spoke ill of my friends. Since I understand German, I glared hard at them with anger. Some young people laughed or made jokes and I heard them and I did the same. I felt like I was on the defense. > > Needless to say, I don't know if I enjoyed my roadtrip because I was either hurt or angry. I was glad when the day ended and when I went to sleep, I prayed that I would figure out what to do. > > Sincerely, > > > > --------------------------------- > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1�/min. Donna JordonDSJordon@... Want to be your own boss? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 I am kind of in the same position. I have not had the surgery yet, but, one of my best friends is not being encouraging. It is hard to distance yourself. But I need people around me who are a positive influence and so I have done just that. I am sure she feels the differance but I cannot jeopardize my health any longer. Hopfully, as your friends see your success continue, they will come on board.-- This past weekend, my two friends and I went to the Black Forest (Germany) and then over to France for a few hours. I had surgery on 8 Aug 2005 and since then, I have lost about 128 pounds. My clothes are a little baggy because I am still losing even while I tone. I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe just yet. But I am sure that I wear 12/14. Which is wonderful for me. I love it. My friends each weigh over 300 pounds. At one point we were all obese and now I am not. While on this road trip with them, we stopped to eat at various locations. I had brought my snacks (fruit, nuts, vitamins, water, peanut butter crackers....and crystal lights tea packets). I ate a little bit to keep me going all day. I didnt notice that they ate too much but just maybe the wrong foods (like greasy). I cant eat that. When we got to the Triberg waterfalls, we paid to go to the top of the hill but we didnt make it because they were so out of breath and tired. I played it off by saying that my energy was low. I didnt want them to feel bad because I could have run to the top. It hurt me to watch my friends struggle all day. At another point, I pulled out my peanut butter crackers and ate a few and even offered it to them and some of my water but they each declined. After walking for about 1/2 hour, they were hungry but I wasnt. So they ate some fries and some kind of bagette with stuff on it. Even though they offered their food to me, I explained that I could not eat that and that it made me feel ill. They said that they could never have the surgery because they would miss enjoying their food and that I had to now eat bland foods for the rest of my life. I didnt take offense but it did hurt my feelings. Now my friends and I dont have food in common and we dont have weight issues (loss of breath, high sugar/blood pressure levels, sweating profusely...etc). I dont want new friends, I love my friends. But it felt like I couldn't do anything and all day, I treaded thin ice. I am very respectful and would never do or say anything to hurt anyone especially about weight because I was once obese. I totally understand. I researched this surgery and I prayed with all my heart that I would recover well from it. I wanted to do everything that obesity would not allow me to do. And I felt really bad all day about my decision. And both friends made me feel bad by saying things like (I will lose weight on my own) or (, you're gonna gain it back by eating all those meals [my snacks]) or (you take too many vitamins) or (you will have to have your surgery monitored for the rest of your life)....blah, blah, blah I didnt say anything. I did notice that several people spoke ill of my friends. Since I understand German, I glared hard at them with anger. Some young people laughed or made jokes and I heard them and I did the same. I felt like I was on the defense. Needless to say, I don't know if I enjoyed my roadtrip because I was either hurt or angry. I was glad when the day ended and when I went to sleep, I prayed that I would figure out what to do. Sincerely, Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1�/min. How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Well thank you for all your input. I have so many new thoughts on my trip this past weekend. I didn't know that so many of us have had the same issues. I really do appreciate your advises. I feel better now. I will keep doing my best to do whats right for my health. Thanks again. Junior Groups are talking. We´re listening. Check out the handy changes to Yahoo! Groups. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 : This is such a difficult topic. I had two close friends (both MO) and now we are mere co-workers. They couldn't handle the issues I was confronting head-on because it hit too close to home. It's frustrating. It's heart-wrenching. But it doesn't mean that they can't be in your life. It all depends on how you want to deal with it. It also depends on them. My surgeon told me (about these two friends), " You need to get those people out of your life because they are poison to your process. Whether it is malicious or not, they will sabotage you, and you need all the positive reinforcement you can get at this point. " I know that that is MY situation only, so I just ask that you keep your needs first and foremost. It would be nice for them to be part of your life. It's interesting, at some point, I realized that none of my friends are MO. I am surrounded by people who are normal weighted, and I guess I've transitioned to that world. I run, I clog, I dance, I square dance, I take motorcycle rides with a good friend, I hike, and on and on and on... I wouldn't have been able to do this as a MO person. I don't even have cable anymore because I no longer watch TV which used to be my one and only hobby. Since my fun now is so physical, I guess it's only natural that I'd be surrounded by normal weighted people. And it's not just their weight; it's their attitude. I only surround myself with positive, life affirming friends. We lift each other up and support one another. We don't tear each other down; that's not friendship. I hope you find a way to reconcile this. Your friends don't realize what a source of inspiration you are. Sad as it is, to reach the top of a mountain, you may need to leave some people behind. Best of luck, Francisco > > This past weekend, my two friends and I went to the Black Forest (Germany) and then over to France for a few hours. > > I had surgery on 8 Aug 2005 and since then, I have lost about 128 pounds. My clothes are a little baggy because I am still losing even while I tone. I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe just yet. But I am sure that I wear 12/14. Which is wonderful for me. I love it. > > My friends each weigh over 300 pounds. At one point we were all obese and now I am not. While on this road trip with them, we stopped to eat at various locations. I had brought my snacks (fruit, nuts, vitamins, water, peanut butter crackers....and crystal lights tea packets). I ate a little bit to keep me going all day. I didnt notice that they ate too much but just maybe the wrong foods (like greasy). I cant eat that. > > When we got to the Triberg waterfalls, we paid to go to the top of the hill but we didnt make it because they were so out of breath and tired. I played it off by saying that my energy was low. I didnt want them to feel bad because I could have run to the top. It hurt me to watch my friends struggle all day. At another point, I pulled out my peanut butter crackers and ate a few and even offered it to them and some of my water but they each declined. After walking for about 1/2 hour, they were hungry but I wasnt. So they ate some fries and some kind of bagette with stuff on it. > > Even though they offered their food to me, I explained that I could not eat that and that it made me feel ill. They said that they could never have the surgery because they would miss enjoying their food and that I had to now eat bland foods for the rest of my life. I didnt take offense but it did hurt my feelings. Now my friends and I dont have food in common and we dont have weight issues (loss of breath, high sugar/blood pressure levels, sweating profusely...etc). I dont want new friends, I love my friends. But it felt like I couldn't do anything and all day, I treaded thin ice. > > I am very respectful and would never do or say anything to hurt anyone especially about weight because I was once obese. I totally understand. > > I researched this surgery and I prayed with all my heart that I would recover well from it. I wanted to do everything that obesity would not allow me to do. And I felt really bad all day about my decision. And both friends made me feel bad by saying things like (I will lose weight on my own) or (, you're gonna gain it back by eating all those meals [my snacks]) or (you take too many vitamins) or (you will have to have your surgery monitored for the rest of your life)....blah, blah, blah > > I didnt say anything. I did notice that several people spoke ill of my friends. Since I understand German, I glared hard at them with anger. Some young people laughed or made jokes and I heard them and I did the same. I felt like I was on the defense. > > Needless to say, I don't know if I enjoyed my roadtrip because I was either hurt or angry. I was glad when the day ended and when I went to sleep, I prayed that I would figure out what to do. > > Sincerely, > > > > --------------------------------- > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 , Francisco is right. On this journey, you will lose some friends but you will also gain friends as well. It is so strange that when I was 250 pounds, we ate out all the time. When I began losing the weight, I no longer had lunch buddies and at first, it hurt because for the first time, I had to face being alone (something I was never felt I could do). Today, almost a year and a half post surgery, I enjoy taking my lunch by myself. I don't feel like people are staring because I am eating alone. I never thought that I could do it because I have always referred to myself as a codependent. Even my husband had said that to me at first. What he had said was that my activities did not include him and the boys but I had to be honest and just let him know that this is all new to all of us and that I am just trying to see where I am in life with myself. I made conscious decisions to make sure that my activities were no deliberate with excluding my family and others but I just had to let him know. So this is like going back to grade school and learning about yourself and life. What works for you and what doesn't. It does get better as time goes on and you figure out who you are and what you want out of life. Be encouraged. Pam Marsh --- manisodream wrote: > : > > This is such a difficult topic. I had two close > friends (both MO) > and now we are mere co-workers. They couldn't > handle the issues I > was confronting head-on because it hit too close to > home. > > It's frustrating. It's heart-wrenching. But it > doesn't mean that > they can't be in your life. It all depends on how > you want to deal > with it. It also depends on them. > > My surgeon told me (about these two friends), " You > need to get those > people out of your life because they are poison to > your process. > Whether it is malicious or not, they will sabotage > you, and you need > all the positive reinforcement you can get at this > point. " > > I know that that is MY situation only, so I just ask > that you keep > your needs first and foremost. It would be nice for > them to be part > of your life. > > It's interesting, at some point, I realized that > none of my friends > are MO. I am surrounded by people who are normal > weighted, and I > guess I've transitioned to that world. I run, I > clog, I dance, I > square dance, I take motorcycle rides with a good > friend, I hike, and > on and on and on... I wouldn't have been able to do > this as a MO > person. I don't even have cable anymore because I > no longer watch TV > which used to be my one and only hobby. > > Since my fun now is so physical, I guess it's only > natural that I'd > be surrounded by normal weighted people. And it's > not just their > weight; it's their attitude. I only surround myself > with positive, > life affirming friends. We lift each other up and > support one > another. We don't tear each other down; that's not > friendship. > > I hope you find a way to reconcile this. Your > friends don't realize > what a source of inspiration you are. Sad as it is, > to reach the top > of a mountain, you may need to leave some people > behind. > > Best of luck, > > Francisco > > > > > > This past weekend, my two friends and I went to > the Black Forest > (Germany) and then over to France for a few hours. > > > > I had surgery on 8 Aug 2005 and since then, I > have lost about 128 > pounds. My clothes are a little baggy because I am > still losing even > while I tone. I don't want to go out and buy a new > wardrobe just > yet. But I am sure that I wear 12/14. Which is > wonderful for me. I > love it. > > > > My friends each weigh over 300 pounds. At one > point we were all > obese and now I am not. While on this road trip > with them, we > stopped to eat at various locations. I had brought > my snacks (fruit, > nuts, vitamins, water, peanut butter crackers....and > crystal lights > tea packets). I ate a little bit to keep me going > all day. I didnt > notice that they ate too much but just maybe the > wrong foods (like > greasy). I cant eat that. > > > > When we got to the Triberg waterfalls, we paid > to go to the top > of the hill but we didnt make it because they were > so out of breath > and tired. I played it off by saying that my energy > was low. I > didnt want them to feel bad because I could have run > to the top. It > hurt me to watch my friends struggle all day. At > another point, I > pulled out my peanut butter crackers and ate a few > and even offered > it to them and some of my water but they each > declined. After > walking for about 1/2 hour, they were hungry but I > wasnt. So they > ate some fries and some kind of bagette with stuff > on it. > > > > Even though they offered their food to me, I > explained that I > could not eat that and that it made me feel ill. > They said that they > could never have the surgery because they would miss > enjoying their > food and that I had to now eat bland foods for the > rest of my life. > I didnt take offense but it did hurt my feelings. > Now my friends and > I dont have food in common and we dont have weight > issues (loss of > breath, high sugar/blood pressure levels, sweating > profusely...etc). > I dont want new friends, I love my friends. But it > felt like I > couldn't do anything and all day, I treaded thin > ice. > > > > I am very respectful and would never do or say > anything to hurt > anyone especially about weight because I was once > obese. I totally > understand. > > > > I researched this surgery and I prayed with all > my heart that I > would recover well from it. I wanted to do > everything that obesity > would not allow me to do. And I felt really bad all > day about my > decision. And both friends made me feel bad by > saying things like (I > will lose weight on my own) or (, you're gonna > gain it back by > eating all those meals [my snacks]) or (you take too > many vitamins) > or (you will have to have your surgery monitored for > the rest of your > life)....blah, blah, blah > > > > I didnt say anything. I did notice that several > people spoke ill > of my friends. Since I understand German, I glared > hard at them with > anger. Some young people laughed or made jokes and > I heard them and > I did the same. I felt like I was on the defense. > > > > Needless to say, I don't know if I enjoyed my > roadtrip because I > was either hurt or angry. I was glad when the day > ended and when I > went to sleep, I prayed that I would figure out what > to do. > > > > Sincerely, > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make > PC-to-Phone calls. > Great rates starting at 1¢/min. > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 , I'm just catching up on this thread, so someone may already have said basically the same thing. . . but any time you change your life as radically as you have with WLS, you risk losing some people from your life. It doesn't matter whether the change is getting married, having kids, losing enough weight to make a complete second " you " , or whatever - the fact is that change upsets the balance in our lives, and when that happens some folks just can't adapt to the way things are now. Don't give up on them, but don't hold yourself back for them either. You have changed. You both need to be able to acknowledge that in order to build a new relationship and incorporate some of those changes. If you can't talk openly about what's going on inside you - both of you - and the emotions that you're feeling about the changes, then you're not going to be able to rebuild your friendship. And if that sounds like I'm talking about a romantic relationship, well, it's the same principles. Over the years I've had a number of friends who've simply faded out of my life as things changed with marriage, kids (mine OR theirs) or moves. I've only had a few people that I've managed to keep close in my life through everything, and the common element in all those relationships has been openness and trust. If you don't have that, you'll spend too much effort hiding part of yourself and the relationship will sour. Good luck, - I hope you can rebuild your friendship with your friends. It's painful, but you've made huge and wonderful changes in your life and it sounds like they are having trouble adapting to them. Cathy C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 Thank you Francisco, Pam, Cathy and everyone. Well, today my friends went to Austria and Friday they are going to Paris. I opted not to go with them. One, I have already been to those places and Two, I didnt want to feel the way I did the other day. I am really thinking about alot of stuff. And since I talked about it on this website, I have gotten alot of ideas and alot of personal advise that I had not thought of. Sometimes I can't see what is really happening because I am too involved. Thanks again. Maybe I will change my mind about Friday. It would be better if I went because I know Europe and I can speak enough to get by (Italian, French, Spanish, German...etc). Neither can do that. I also know the driving signs and how to read any map. (any map in any country)... I don't know why I can do this because I am so dyslexic and struggle with daily reading. I can type too (100+ wpm). How funny is that. Both of my friends have degrees and are both brilliant. I have always been a little intimidated by their brilliance. But the other day, I realized that I (without a degree) am smart in other ways. (the things I mentioned above). I know a little about a lot of things. As I lose more and more weight, my confidence builds. I am realizing that I am a lot smarter than I have given myself credit. I am just starting to speak out more now too. I guess this is just the beginning of my new life. Sincerely, Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 , also some people are afraid to do the procedure because as your friends said " they would miss their food " or words to that effect. I had a coworker who told me the exact same thing. She said she was not that desparate to lose weight that she would have the surgery. I could have gotten upset and cursed her out or defended my position but I did not feel I had to defend anything because her thoughts don't validate me or determine the outcome of who I have become. I simply told her that if your life depended upon it then you would have a different view on it. I also told her that because she has not gotten any illness as a result of her weight that she would never see it any other way. I told her that you can still eat food and on best occassions the same stuff if she worked out but it would only be smaller portions. One of the things this person did not understand was that she thought I would eat my portion and still be hungery but would not be able to eat more because my stomach was too tiny. I told her that once I ate my portion then I feel just like she does when she eats only I eat smaller amounts. Its not a situation were I still am hungery and can't eat...rather I am full and don't desire to eat more. I am not sure what it is people don't understand about this procedure because that is the one thing that people ask me " are you still hungry once you have eaten your little portion " ? Weird huh?? Also, some people are watching to see if you fail. Meaning seeing if you gain back all your weight so they can say " this proves my point about why I did not want to have the surgery in the first place. Why would I go through all of this to suffer only to regain " . That is the wrong way to think but this is a individual thing and only you can be the deciding factor on your outcome. If you do the right things (follow the program) you will keep the weight off and even if you regain a few, according to the surgeons, this is normal but not a excessive amount. After a while, you aren't so concerned with food. At first it was a chore to me..factoring in what to eat, etc. but now, food is not a high priority. I enjoy being small and healthy. I know this sounds vain but I enjoy this new me because I do look good, I feel good, my attitude has changed, my thought process is totally different, I am less willing to be defensive from jump because I am so self conscious and worried about how others see me. ly, I don't care about how others see me anymore. This procedure gives you so much freedom and choices. I think we have always had those two things we just never felt at liberty to exercise them because again, its all about how others see us. Be encouraged. Pam Marsh --- Cathy wrote: > , > I'm just catching up on this thread, so someone may > already have said > basically the same thing. . . but any time you > change your life as > radically as you have with WLS, you risk losing some > people from your > life. It doesn't matter whether the change is > getting married, having > kids, losing enough weight to make a complete second > " you " , or > whatever - the fact is that change upsets the > balance in our lives, > and when that happens some folks just can't adapt to > the way things > are now. > > Don't give up on them, but don't hold yourself back > for them either. > You have changed. You both need to be able to > acknowledge that in > order to build a new relationship and incorporate > some of those > changes. If you can't talk openly about what's going > on inside you - > both of you - and the emotions that you're feeling > about the changes, > then you're not going to be able to rebuild your > friendship. > > And if that sounds like I'm talking about a romantic > relationship, > well, it's the same principles. Over the years I've > had a number of > friends who've simply faded out of my life as things > changed with > marriage, kids (mine OR theirs) or moves. I've only > had a few people > that I've managed to keep close in my life through > everything, and the > common element in all those relationships has been > openness and trust. > If you don't have that, you'll spend too much effort > hiding part of > yourself and the relationship will sour. > > Good luck, - I hope you can rebuild your > friendship with your > friends. It's painful, but you've made huge and > wonderful changes in > your life and it sounds like they are having trouble > adapting to them. > > Cathy C. > > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 Well, Pam, I guess that I need to figure myself out first. My weight kept me from speaking out and now, I am wanting to say something but I guess I just dont know how to go about it. My confidence in myself grows and my weight lessens. Its greek to me right now but I am learning more and more about myself. Weight loss has been a healing process for me, internally. I am starting to see the real me and I am also liking me too. I still have a little more weight to lose and I am working on that at the same time, I am getting stronger (inside). I have about 30 more pounds to go and I am very excited to see that loss. I will continue to try my best and am happy with my decision. Although many were against me having it, I was totally for it and now 128 pounds lighter. Sincerely Pamela A Marsh wrote: , also some people are afraid to do the procedurebecause as your friends said "they would miss theirfood" or words to that effect. I had a coworker whotold me the exact same thing. She said she was notthat desparate to lose weight that she would have thesurgery. I could have gotten upset and cursed her outor defended my position but I did not feel I had todefend anything because her thoughts don't validate meor determine the outcome of who I have become. Isimply told her that if your life depended upon itthen you would have a different view on it. I alsotold her that because she has not gotten any illnessas a result of her weight that she would never see itany other way. I told her that you can still eat foodand on best occassions the same stuff if she workedout but it would only be smaller portions. One of thethings this person did not understand was that shethought I would eat my portion and still be hungerybut would not be able to eat more because my stomachwas too tiny. I told her that once I ate my portionthen I feel just like she does when she eats only Ieat smaller amounts. Its not a situation were I stillam hungery and can't eat...rather I am full and don'tdesire to eat more. I am not sure what it is peopledon't understand about this procedure because that isthe one thing that people ask me "are you still hungryonce you have eaten your little portion"? Weird huh??Also, some people are watching to see if you fail. Meaning seeing if you gain back all your weight sothey can say "this proves my point about why I did notwant to have the surgery in the first place. Whywould I go through all of this to suffer only toregain". That is the wrong way to think but this is aindividual thing and only you can be the decidingfactor on your outcome. If you do the right things(follow the program) you will keep the weight off andeven if you regain a few, according to the surgeons,this is normal but not a excessive amount. After awhile, you aren't so concerned with food. At first itwas a chore to me..factoring in what to eat, etc. butnow, food is not a high priority. I enjoy being smalland healthy. I know this sounds vain but I enjoy thisnew me because I do look good, I feel good, myattitude has changed, my thought process is totallydifferent, I am less willing to be defensive from jumpbecause I am so self conscious and worried about howothers see me. ly, I don't care about how otherssee me anymore. This procedure gives you so muchfreedom and choices. I think we have always had thosetwo things we just never felt at liberty to exercisethem because again, its all about how others see us. Be encouraged.Pam Marsh--- Cathy <catic15 (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> wrote:> ,> I'm just catching up on this thread, so someone may> already have said> basically the same thing. . . but any time you> change your life as> radically as you have with WLS, you risk losing some> people from your> life. It doesn't matter whether the change is> getting married, having> kids, losing enough weight to make a complete second> "you", or> whatever - the fact is that change upsets the> balance in our lives,> and when that happens some folks just can't adapt to> the way things> are now.> > Don't give up on them, but don't hold yourself back> for them either.> You have changed. You both need to be able to> acknowledge that in> order to build a new relationship and incorporate> some of those> changes. If you can't talk openly about what's going> on inside you -> both of you - and the emotions that you're feeling> about the changes,> then you're not going to be able to rebuild your> friendship. > > And if that sounds like I'm talking about a romantic> relationship,> well, it's the same principles. Over the years I've> had a number of> friends who've simply faded out of my life as things> changed with> marriage, kids (mine OR theirs) or moves. I've only> had a few people> that I've managed to keep close in my life through> everything, and the> common element in all those relationships has been> openness and trust.> If you don't have that, you'll spend too much effort> hiding part of> yourself and the relationship will sour.> > Good luck, - I hope you can rebuild your> friendship with your> friends. It's painful, but you've made huge and> wonderful changes in> your life and it sounds like they are having trouble> adapting to them.> > Cathy C.> > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 i have learned that sometimes we need to take a break from a friendship when there is change.....but a strong relationship will sustain. When we were younger a friend married and became insuffereable as she felt she was the ONLY married person in the world... Finally she mellowed out and we were able to pick up the friendship again. With the weight loss I have not encountered this... I had one friend who worried as I was the one she tried new restaurants with... I told her in time I would again be able to try them with her but I would be more selective of the types of food and the amounts.. and she was fine until she had a new worry....I moved to the central valley far away from her................ See the all-new, redesigned Yahoo.com. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 That is so true Francisco!manisodream wrote: : This is such a difficult topic. I had two close friends (both MO) and now we are mere co-workers. They couldn't handle the issues I was confronting head-on because it hit too close to home. It's frustrating. It's heart-wrenching. But it doesn't mean that they can't be in your life. It all depends on how you want to deal with it. It also depends on them. My surgeon told me (about these two friends), "You need to get those people out of your life because they are poison to your process. Whether it is malicious or not, they will sabotage you, and you need all the positive reinforcement you can get at this point." I know that that is MY situation only, so I just ask that you keep your needs first and foremost. It would be nice for them to be part of your life. It's interesting, at some point, I realized that none of my friends are MO. I am surrounded by people who are normal weighted, and I guess I've transitioned to that world. I run, I clog, I dance, I square dance, I take motorcycle rides with a good friend, I hike, and on and on and on... I wouldn't have been able to do this as a MO person. I don't even have cable anymore because I no longer watch TV which used to be my one and only hobby. Since my fun now is so physical, I guess it's only natural that I'd be surrounded by normal weighted people. And it's not just their weight; it's their attitude. I only surround myself with positive, life affirming friends. We lift each other up and support one another. We don't tear each other down; that's not friendship. I hope you find a way to reconcile this. Your friends don't realize what a source of inspiration you are. Sad as it is, to reach the top of a mountain, you may need to leave some people behind. Best of luck, Francisco > > This past weekend, my two friends and I went to the Black Forest (Germany) and then over to France for a few hours. > > I had surgery on 8 Aug 2005 and since then, I have lost about 128 pounds. My clothes are a little baggy because I am still losing even while I tone. I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe just yet. But I am sure that I wear 12/14. Which is wonderful for me. I love it. > > My friends each weigh over 300 pounds. At one point we were all obese and now I am not. While on this road trip with them, we stopped to eat at various locations. I had brought my snacks (fruit, nuts, vitamins, water, peanut butter crackers....and crystal lights tea packets). I ate a little bit to keep me going all day. I didnt notice that they ate too much but just maybe the wrong foods (like greasy). I cant eat that. > > When we got to the Triberg waterfalls, we paid to go to the top of the hill but we didnt make it because they were so out of breath and tired. I played it off by saying that my energy was low. I didnt want them to feel bad because I could have run to the top. It hurt me to watch my friends struggle all day. At another point, I pulled out my peanut butter crackers and ate a few and even offered it to them and some of my water but they each declined. After walking for about 1/2 hour, they were hungry but I wasnt. So they ate some fries and some kind of bagette with stuff on it. > > Even though they offered their food to me, I explained that I could not eat that and that it made me feel ill. They said that they could never have the surgery because they would miss enjoying their food and that I had to now eat bland foods for the rest of my life. I didnt take offense but it did hurt my feelings. Now my friends and I dont have food in common and we dont have weight issues (loss of breath, high sugar/blood pressure levels, sweating profusely...etc). I dont want new friends, I love my friends. But it felt like I couldn't do anything and all day, I treaded thin ice. > > I am very respectful and would never do or say anything to hurt anyone especially about weight because I was once obese. I totally understand. > > I researched this surgery and I prayed with all my heart that I would recover well from it. I wanted to do everything that obesity would not allow me to do. And I felt really bad all day about my decision. And both friends made me feel bad by saying things like (I will lose weight on my own) or (, you're gonna gain it back by eating all those meals [my snacks]) or (you take too many vitamins) or (you will have to have your surgery monitored for the rest of your life)....blah, blah, blah > > I didnt say anything. I did notice that several people spoke ill of my friends. Since I understand German, I glared hard at them with anger. Some young people laughed or made jokes and I heard them and I did the same. I felt like I was on the defense. > > Needless to say, I don't know if I enjoyed my roadtrip because I was either hurt or angry. I was glad when the day ended and when I went to sleep, I prayed that I would figure out what to do. > > Sincerely, > > > > --------------------------------- > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1�/min. > Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 You have found self esteem for yourself and you feel good about yourself and now you can have good boundaries. You are finding the good in yourself. I did this, it caused a split in my marriage (we had so many problems and I use to never keep boundaries for me), even though the split has been hard, I am enjoying life more than I have in 24 years. So it will all be good for me and for you. This journey changes many things within us, for the better. We are so worth it, just took us so long to realize it. Take care. Donna J Junior wrote: Thank you Francisco, Pam, Cathy and everyone. Well, today my friends went to Austria and Friday they are going to Paris. I opted not to go with them. One, I have already been to those places and Two, I didnt want to feel the way I did the other day. I am really thinking about alot of stuff. And since I talked about it on this website, I have gotten alot of ideas and alot of personal advise that I had not thought of. Sometimes I can't see what is really happening because I am too involved. Thanks again. Maybe I will change my mind about Friday. It would be better if I went because I know Europe and I can speak enough to get by (Italian, French, Spanish, German...etc). Neither can do that. I also know the driving signs and how to read any map. (any map in any country)... I don't know why I can do this because I am so dyslexic and struggle with daily reading. I can type too (100+ wpm). How funny is that. Both of my friends have degrees and are both brilliant. I have always been a little intimidated by their brilliance. But the other day, I realized that I (without a degree) am smart in other ways. (the things I mentioned above). I know a little about a lot of things. As I lose more and more weight, my confidence builds. I am realizing that I am a lot smarter than I have given myself credit. I am just starting to speak out more now too. I guess this is just the beginning of my new life. Sincerely, Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Donna JordonDSJordon@... Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 well stated, Pam. You are exactly right! Robynn --- Pamela A Marsh wrote: > , also some people are afraid to do the > procedure > because as your friends said " they would miss their > food " or words to that effect. I had a coworker who > told me the exact same thing. She said she was not > that desparate to lose weight that she would have > the > surgery. I could have gotten upset and cursed her > out > or defended my position but I did not feel I had to > defend anything because her thoughts don't validate > me > or determine the outcome of who I have become. I > simply told her that if your life depended upon it > then you would have a different view on it. I also > told her that because she has not gotten any illness > as a result of her weight that she would never see > it > any other way. I told her that you can still eat > food > and on best occassions the same stuff if she worked > out but it would only be smaller portions. One of > the > things this person did not understand was that she > thought I would eat my portion and still be hungery > but would not be able to eat more because my stomach > was too tiny. I told her that once I ate my portion > then I feel just like she does when she eats only I > eat smaller amounts. Its not a situation were I > still > am hungery and can't eat...rather I am full and > don't > desire to eat more. I am not sure what it is people > don't understand about this procedure because that > is > the one thing that people ask me " are you still > hungry > once you have eaten your little portion " ? Weird > huh?? > > Also, some people are watching to see if you fail. > Meaning seeing if you gain back all your weight so > they can say " this proves my point about why I did > not > want to have the surgery in the first place. Why > would I go through all of this to suffer only to > regain " . That is the wrong way to think but this is > a > individual thing and only you can be the deciding > factor on your outcome. If you do the right things > (follow the program) you will keep the weight off > and > even if you regain a few, according to the surgeons, > this is normal but not a excessive amount. After a > while, you aren't so concerned with food. At first > it > was a chore to me..factoring in what to eat, etc. > but > now, food is not a high priority. I enjoy being > small > and healthy. I know this sounds vain but I enjoy > this > new me because I do look good, I feel good, my > attitude has changed, my thought process is totally > different, I am less willing to be defensive from > jump > because I am so self conscious and worried about how > others see me. ly, I don't care about how > others > see me anymore. This procedure gives you so much > freedom and choices. I think we have always had > those > two things we just never felt at liberty to exercise > them because again, its all about how others see us. > > Be encouraged. > > Pam Marsh > > --- Cathy wrote: > > > , > > I'm just catching up on this thread, so someone > may > > already have said > > basically the same thing. . . but any time you > > change your life as > > radically as you have with WLS, you risk losing > some > > people from your > > life. It doesn't matter whether the change is > > getting married, having > > kids, losing enough weight to make a complete > second > > " you " , or > > whatever - the fact is that change upsets the > > balance in our lives, > > and when that happens some folks just can't adapt > to > > the way things > > are now. > > > > Don't give up on them, but don't hold yourself > back > > for them either. > > You have changed. You both need to be able to > > acknowledge that in > > order to build a new relationship and incorporate > > some of those > > changes. If you can't talk openly about what's > going > > on inside you - > > both of you - and the emotions that you're feeling > > about the changes, > > then you're not going to be able to rebuild your > > friendship. > > > > And if that sounds like I'm talking about a > romantic > > relationship, > > well, it's the same principles. Over the years > I've > > had a number of > > friends who've simply faded out of my life as > things > > changed with > > marriage, kids (mine OR theirs) or moves. I've > only > > had a few people > > that I've managed to keep close in my life through > > everything, and the > > common element in all those relationships has been > > openness and trust. > > If you don't have that, you'll spend too much > effort > > hiding part of > > yourself and the relationship will sour. > > > > Good luck, - I hope you can rebuild your > > friendship with your > > friends. It's painful, but you've made huge and > > wonderful changes in > > your life and it sounds like they are having > trouble > > adapting to them. > > > > Cathy C. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Today I decided not to join my friends to Paris. I went to the doctor's office today and had some blood work done. I am still vitamin deficient and I know it. My doctor was so excited to see me and complimented me on my weight loss. We talked for awhile about what I was eating and what I was doing for exercise. My blood pressure was great and what I was eating was perfect. She said that she was very proud of me and that I was doing a great job. She looked at my hair, nails and skin and told me that everything looked great. And she looked at my feet. Last year, I was having trouble with my feet but not anymore. So I was very happy with what my doctor said to me. I was also happy that I was healing well. So she said for me to come back on Friday for the results and then she would prescribe me with what I needed. So I left and while I was on my way to work, one of my friends called to ask if I wanted to go out to eat. I told her no and that I had my lunch at work waiting for me. She asked where I had been and so I told her that I went to the doctor's office for a checkup. She asked if I was having any problems and I told her that I was still experiencing some gum issues...Well, then she went on about how she was happy that she did not have "That Surgery". I was like, "Yes, I know..." blah, blah, blah Anyway, my ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kicked in right about that time and needless to say, I was off the phone in no time. So I decided not to go. No matter how well I have done, that is not enough for my friends. I can not worry about why they didn't have the surgery. I must just worry about me..and that I did have the surgery and I need to continue taking care of myself. I should have always taken care of myself and now I am very focused on that. So I will stay back and exercise and eat right and enjoy myself. They will be in Paris and enjoy theirselves. In time, I hope we reach a happy medium. But for now, I am only focused on my health and thats the way it must be for now. I hope soon that our friendship will involve our health and not food. We have known each other for over 20 years. I hope they understand that I didn't abandon them when I had this surgery. I just wanted to be able to breath, walk, run, etc...better. Sincerely, Robynn VanPatten wrote: well stated, Pam. You are exactly right!Robynn--- Pamela A Marsh <sweetnlow20012001 (AT) yahoo (DOT) com>wrote:> , also some people are afraid to do the> procedure> because as your friends said "they would miss their> food" or words to that effect. I had a coworker who> told me the exact same thing. She said she was not> that desparate to lose weight that she would have> the> surgery. I could have gotten upset and cursed her> out> or defended my position but I did not feel I had to> defend anything because her thoughts don't validate> me> or determine the outcome of who I have become. I> simply told her that if your life depended upon it> then you would have a different view on it. I also> told her that because she has not gotten any illness> as a result of her weight that she would never see> it> any other way. I told her that you can still eat> food> and on best occassions the same stuff if she worked> out but it would only be smaller portions. One of> the> things this person did not understand was that she> thought I would eat my portion and still be hungery> but would not be able to eat more because my stomach> was too tiny. I told her that once I ate my portion> then I feel just like she does when she eats only I> eat smaller amounts. Its not a situation were I> still> am hungery and can't eat...rather I am full and> don't> desire to eat more. I am not sure what it is people> don't understand about this procedure because that> is> the one thing that people ask me "are you still> hungry> once you have eaten your little portion"? Weird> huh??> > Also, some people are watching to see if you fail. > Meaning seeing if you gain back all your weight so> they can say "this proves my point about why I did> not> want to have the surgery in the first place. Why> would I go through all of this to suffer only to> regain". That is the wrong way to think but this is> a> individual thing and only you can be the deciding> factor on your outcome. If you do the right things> (follow the program) you will keep the weight off> and> even if you regain a few, according to the surgeons,> this is normal but not a excessive amount. After a> while, you aren't so concerned with food. At first> it> was a chore to me..factoring in what to eat, etc.> but> now, food is not a high priority. I enjoy being> small> and healthy. I know this sounds vain but I enjoy> this> new me because I do look good, I feel good, my> attitude has changed, my thought process is totally> different, I am less willing to be defensive from> jump> because I am so self conscious and worried about how> others see me. ly, I don't care about how> others> see me anymore. This procedure gives you so much> freedom and choices. I think we have always had> those> two things we just never felt at liberty to exercise> them because again, its all about how others see us.> > Be encouraged.> > Pam Marsh> > --- Cathy <catic15 (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> wrote:> > > ,> > I'm just catching up on this thread, so someone> may> > already have said> > basically the same thing. . . but any time you> > change your life as> > radically as you have with WLS, you risk losing> some> > people from your> > life. It doesn't matter whether the change is> > getting married, having> > kids, losing enough weight to make a complete> second> > "you", or> > whatever - the fact is that change upsets the> > balance in our lives,> > and when that happens some folks just can't adapt> to> > the way things> > are now.> > > > Don't give up on them, but don't hold yourself> back> > for them either.> > You have changed. You both need to be able to> > acknowledge that in> > order to build a new relationship and incorporate> > some of those> > changes. If you can't talk openly about what's> going> > on inside you -> > both of you - and the emotions that you're feeling> > about the changes,> > then you're not going to be able to rebuild your> > friendship. > > > > And if that sounds like I'm talking about a> romantic> > relationship,> > well, it's the same principles. Over the years> I've> > had a number of> > friends who've simply faded out of my life as> things> > changed with> > marriage, kids (mine OR theirs) or moves. I've> only> > had a few people> > that I've managed to keep close in my life through> > everything, and the> > common element in all those relationships has been> > openness and trust.> > If you don't have that, you'll spend too much> effort> > hiding part of> > yourself and the relationship will sour.> > > > Good luck, - I hope you can rebuild your> > friendship with your> > friends. It's painful, but you've made huge and> > wonderful changes in> > your life and it sounds like they are having> trouble> > adapting to them.> > > > Cathy C.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 just my suggestion, but next time one of them asks that type of question. ... maybe you should just answer "Oh everying is great!" until and unless they can be supportive it is just reopening the issues of it all......I know you want to be honest and up front with them but their denial of your healthy new life is due to the fact that they are not there and they have to justify to you and themselves why not to make that life changing choice. You are doing great! B Junior wrote: Today I decided not to join my friends to Paris. I went to the doctor's office today and had some blood work done. I am still vitamin deficient and I know it. My doctor was so excited to see me and complimented me on my weight loss. We talked for awhile about what I was eating and what I was doing for exercise. My blood pressure was great and what I was eating was perfect. She said that she was very proud of me and that I was doing a great job. She looked at my hair, nails and skin and told me that everything looked great. And she looked at my feet. Last year, I was having trouble with my feet but not anymore. So I was very happy with what my doctor said to me. I was also happy that I was healing well. So she said for me to come back on Friday for the results and then she would prescribe me with what I needed. So I left and while I was on my way to work, one of my friends called to ask if I wanted to go out to eat. I told her no and that I had my lunch at work waiting for me. She asked where I had been and so I told her that I went to the doctor's office for a checkup. She asked if I was having any problems and I told her that I was still experiencing some gum issues...Well, then she went on about how she was happy that she did not have "That Surgery". I was like, "Yes, I know..." blah, blah, blah Anyway, my ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kicked in right about that time and needless to say, I was off the phone in no time. So I decided not to go. No matter how well I have done, that is not enough for my friends. I can not worry about why they didn't have the surgery. I must just worry about me..and that I did have the surgery and I need to continue taking care of myself. I should have always taken care of myself and now I am very focused on that. So I will stay back and exercise and eat right and enjoy myself. They will be in Paris and enjoy theirselves. In time, I hope we reach a happy medium. But for now, I am only focused on my health and thats the way it must be for now. I hope soon that our friendship will involve our health and not food. We have known each other for over 20 years. I hope they understand that I didn't abandon them when I had this surgery. I just wanted to be able to breath, walk, run, etc...better. Sincerely, Robynn VanPatten <robynnsf (AT) sbcglobal (DOT) net> wrote: well stated, Pam. You are exactly right!Robynn--- Pamela A Marsh <sweetnlow20012001 (AT) yahoo (DOT) com>wrote:> , also some people are afraid to do the> procedure> because as your friends said "they would miss their> food" or words to that effect. I had a coworker who> told me the exact same thing. She said she was not> that desparate to lose weight that she would have> the> surgery. I could have gotten upset and cursed her> out> or defended my position but I did not feel I had to> defend anything because her thoughts don't validate> me> or determine the outcome of who I have become. I> simply told her that if your life depended upon it> then you would have a different view on it. I also> told her that because she has not gotten any illness> as a result of her weight that she would never see> it> any other way. I told her that you can still eat> food> and on best occassions the same stuff if she worked> out but it would only be smaller portions. One of> the> things this person did not understand was that she> thought I would eat my portion and still be hungery> but would not be able to eat more because my stomach> was too tiny. I told her that once I ate my portion> then I feel just like she does when she eats only I> eat smaller amounts. Its not a situation were I> still> am hungery and can't eat...rather I am full and> don't> desire to eat more. I am not sure what it is people> don't understand about this procedure because that> is> the one thing that people ask me "are you still> hungry> once you have eaten your little portion"? Weird> huh??> > Also, some people are watching to see if you fail. > Meaning seeing if you gain back all your weight so> they can say "this proves my point about why I did> not> want to have the surgery in the first place. Why> would I go through all of this to suffer only to> regain". That is the wrong way to think but this is> a> individual thing and only you can be the deciding> factor on your outcome. If you do the right things> (follow the program) you will keep the weight off> and> even if you regain a few, according to the surgeons,> this is normal but not a excessive amount. After a> while, you aren't so concerned with food. At first> it> was a chore to me..factoring in what to eat, etc.> but> now, food is not a high priority. I enjoy being> small> and healthy. I know this sounds vain but I enjoy> this> new me because I do look good, I feel good, my> attitude has changed, my thought process is totally> different, I am less willing to be defensive from> jump> because I am so self conscious and worried about how> others see me. ly, I don't care about how> others> see me anymore. This procedure gives you so much> freedom and choices. I think we have always had> those> two things we just never felt at liberty to exercise> them because again, its all about how others see us.> > Be encouraged.> > Pam Marsh> > --- Cathy <catic15 (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> wrote:> > > ,> > I'm just catching up on this thread, so someone> may> > already have said> > basically the same thing. . . but any time you> > change your life as> > radically as you have with WLS, you risk losing> some> > people from your> > life. It doesn't matter whether the change is> > getting married, having> > kids, losing enough weight to make a complete> second> > "you", or> > whatever - the fact is that change upsets the> > balance in our lives,> > and when that happens some folks just can't adapt> to> > the way things> > are now.> > > > Don't give up on them, but don't hold yourself> back> > for them either.> > You have changed. You both need to be able to> > acknowledge that in> > order to build a new relationship and incorporate> > some of those> > changes. If you can't talk openly about what's> going> > on inside you -> > both of you - and the emotions that you're feeling> > about the changes,> > then you're not going to be able to rebuild your> > friendship. > > > > And if that sounds like I'm talking about a> romantic> > relationship,> > well, it's the same principles. Over the years> I've> > had a number of> > friends who've simply faded out of my life as> things> > changed with> > marriage, kids (mine OR theirs) or moves. I've> only> > had a few people> > that I've managed to keep close in my life through> > everything, and the> > common element in all those relationships has been> > openness and trust.> > If you don't have that, you'll spend too much> effort> > hiding part of> > yourself and the relationship will sour.> > > > Good luck, - I hope you can rebuild your> > friendship with your> > friends. It's painful, but you've made huge and> > wonderful changes in> > your life and it sounds like they are having> trouble> > adapting to them.> > > > Cathy C.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Yes, I guess your are right. I do try to be honest. I guess I am waiting to hear ", I hope everything works out for you." but maybe that is not gonna happen today. I wish I had a friend that had the surgery, here in Germany for me to talk with. But alas, I don't. But I do read emails from our group and that helps me to keep positive and to keep striving. And I tell myself, ", everything will work out for you!" and so far it has. Thanks for understanding. HI There! wrote: just my suggestion, but next time one of them asks that type of question. ... maybe you should just answer "Oh everying is great!" until and unless they can be supportive it is just reopening the issues of it all......I know you want to be honest and up front with them but their denial of your healthy new life is due to the fact that they are not there and they have to justify to you and themselves why not to make that life changing choice. You are doing great! B Junior <laura_junior (AT) yahoo (DOT) com> wrote: Today I decided not to join my friends to Paris. I went to the doctor's office today and had some blood work done. I am still vitamin deficient and I know it. My doctor was so excited to see me and complimented me on my weight loss. We talked for awhile about what I was eating and what I was doing for exercise. My blood pressure was great and what I was eating was perfect. She said that she was very proud of me and that I was doing a great job. She looked at my hair, nails and skin and told me that everything looked great. And she looked at my feet. Last year, I was having trouble with my feet but not anymore. So I was very happy with what my doctor said to me. I was also happy that I was healing well. So she said for me to come back on Friday for the results and then she would prescribe me with what I needed. So I left and while I was on my way to work, one of my friends called to ask if I wanted to go out to eat. I told her no and that I had my lunch at work waiting for me. She asked where I had been and so I told her that I went to the doctor's office for a checkup. She asked if I was having any problems and I told her that I was still experiencing some gum issues...Well, then she went on about how she was happy that she did not have "That Surgery". I was like, "Yes, I know..." blah, blah, blah Anyway, my ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kicked in right about that time and needless to say, I was off the phone in no time. So I decided not to go. No matter how well I have done, that is not enough for my friends. I can not worry about why they didn't have the surgery. I must just worry about me..and that I did have the surgery and I need to continue taking care of myself. I should have always taken care of myself and now I am very focused on that. So I will stay back and exercise and eat right and enjoy myself. They will be in Paris and enjoy theirselves. In time, I hope we reach a happy medium. But for now, I am only focused on my health and thats the way it must be for now. I hope soon that our friendship will involve our health and not food. We have known each other for over 20 years. I hope they understand that I didn't abandon them when I had this surgery. I just wanted to be able to breath, walk, run, etc...better. Sincerely, Robynn VanPatten <robynnsf (AT) sbcglobal (DOT) net> wrote: well stated, Pam. You are exactly right!Robynn--- Pamela A Marsh <sweetnlow20012001 (AT) yahoo (DOT) com>wrote:> , also some people are afraid to do the> procedure> because as your friends said "they would miss their> food" or words to that effect. I had a coworker who> told me the exact same thing. She said she was not> that desparate to lose weight that she would have> the> surgery. I could have gotten upset and cursed her> out> or defended my position but I did not feel I had to> defend anything because her thoughts don't validate> me> or determine the outcome of who I have become. I> simply told her that if your life depended upon it> then you would have a different view on it. I also> told her that because she has not gotten any illness> as a result of her weight that she would never see> it> any other way. I told her that you can still eat> food> and on best occassions the same stuff if she worked> out but it would only be smaller portions. One of> the> things this person did not understand was that she> thought I would eat my portion and still be hungery> but would not be able to eat more because my stomach> was too tiny. I told her that once I ate my portion> then I feel just like she does when she eats only I> eat smaller amounts. Its not a situation were I> still> am hungery and can't eat...rather I am full and> don't> desire to eat more. I am not sure what it is people> don't understand about this procedure because that> is> the one thing that people ask me "are you still> hungry> once you have eaten your little portion"? Weird> huh??> > Also, some people are watching to see if you fail. > Meaning seeing if you gain back all your weight so> they can say "this proves my point about why I did> not> want to have the surgery in the first place. Why> would I go through all of this to suffer only to> regain". That is the wrong way to think but this is> a> individual thing and only you can be the deciding> factor on your outcome. If you do the right things> (follow the program) you will keep the weight off> and> even if you regain a few, according to the surgeons,> this is normal but not a excessive amount. After a> while, you aren't so concerned with food. At first> it> was a chore to me..factoring in what to eat, etc.> but> now, food is not a high priority. I enjoy being> small> and healthy. I know this sounds vain but I enjoy> this> new me because I do look good, I feel good, my> attitude has changed, my thought process is totally> different, I am less willing to be defensive from> jump> because I am so self conscious and worried about how> others see me. ly, I don't care about how> others> see me anymore. This procedure gives you so much> freedom and choices. I think we have always had> those> two things we just never felt at liberty to exercise> them because again, its all about how others see us.> > Be encouraged.> > Pam Marsh> > --- Cathy <catic15 (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> wrote:> > > ,> > I'm just catching up on this thread, so someone> may> > already have said> > basically the same thing. . . but any time you> > change your life as> > radically as you have with WLS, you risk losing> some> > people from your> > life. It doesn't matter whether the change is> > getting married, having> > kids, losing enough weight to make a complete> second> > "you", or> > whatever - the fact is that change upsets the> > balance in our lives,> > and when that happens some folks just can't adapt> to> > the way things> > are now.> > > > Don't give up on them, but don't hold yourself> back> > for them either.> > You have changed. You both need to be able to> > acknowledge that in> > order to build a new relationship and incorporate> > some of those> > changes. If you can't talk openly about what's> going> > on inside you -> > both of you - and the emotions that you're feeling> > about the changes,> > then you're not going to be able to rebuild your> > friendship. > > > > And if that sounds like I'm talking about a> romantic> > relationship,> > well, it's the same principles. Over the years> I've> > had a number of> > friends who've simply faded out of my life as> things> > changed with> > marriage, kids (mine OR theirs) or moves. I've> only> > had a few people> > that I've managed to keep close in my life through> > everything, and the> > common element in all those relationships has been> > openness and trust.> > If you don't have that, you'll spend too much> effort> > hiding part of> > yourself and the relationship will sour.> > > > Good luck, - I hope you can rebuild your> > friendship with your> > friends. It's painful, but you've made huge and> > wonderful changes in> > your life and it sounds like they are having> trouble> > adapting to them.> > > > Cathy C.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 : Sounds like you're doing the right thing. Regarding the gum issue, I had a teeth issue (still have) post-op. I can't brush my teeth with regular tooth paste anymore. I have to use tooth paste for sensitive teeth. It happens to some people, and I don't think anyone is sure why. Nothing has changed about my dental care--brushing and flossing every day, but if I use regular tooth paste, OUCH! Anyway, if your friend keeps saying " that surgery, " you may have to gently confront her and say that it hurts you when she's not supportive. If she's open to it, it'll make things better. If not, it's time to move on (at least for a while). Best of luck to you, and congrats on the check up. Francisco > > Today I decided not to join my friends to Paris. I went to the doctor's office today and had some blood work done. I am still vitamin deficient and I know it. My doctor was so excited to see me and complimented me on my weight loss. We talked for awhile about what I was eating and what I was doing for exercise. My blood pressure was great and what I was eating was perfect. She said that she was very proud of me and that I was doing a great job. She looked at my hair, nails and skin and told me that everything looked great. And she looked at my feet. Last year, I was having trouble with my feet but not anymore. So I was very happy with what my doctor said to me. I was also happy that I was healing well. > > So she said for me to come back on Friday for the results and then she would prescribe me with what I needed. So I left and while I was on my way to work, one of my friends called to ask if I wanted to go out to eat. I told her no and that I had my lunch at work waiting for me. She asked where I had been and so I told her that I went to the doctor's office for a checkup. > > She asked if I was having any problems and I told her that I was still experiencing some gum issues...Well, then she went on about how she was happy that she did not have " That Surgery " . I was like, " Yes, I know... " blah, blah, blah > > Anyway, my ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kicked in right about that time and needless to say, I was off the phone in no time. > > So I decided not to go. No matter how well I have done, that is not enough for my friends. I can not worry about why they didn't have the surgery. I must just worry about me..and that I did have the surgery and I need to continue taking care of myself. > > I should have always taken care of myself and now I am very focused on that. So I will stay back and exercise and eat right and enjoy myself. They will be in Paris and enjoy theirselves. In time, I hope we reach a happy medium. But for now, I am only focused on my health and thats the way it must be for now. I hope soon that our friendship will involve our health and not food. > > We have known each other for over 20 years. I hope they understand that I didn't abandon them when I had this surgery. I just wanted to be able to breath, walk, run, etc...better. > > Sincerely, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2009 Report Share Posted January 13, 2009 I recently drove from Indiana to San with my daughter. I sent a story about the trip to the moderators, but not sure if it got forwarded to the group, as I never saw it. I've attached it below this message. We had a comfy bed in the back seat--put small suitcases behind the front seats, then used an twin-size air mattress with a quilt over it. Neither of us could drive more than 3-4 hours at a stretch, so the napper didn't get more than a couple of hours at a time, but it was okay. The drive was about 22 hours each way. We didn't have the bladder problems, although we both wore mega pads just in case. One thing about road travel--just moving around in the car isn't adequate. You need to get out & walk around every few hours. The weight-bearing helps to prevent blood clots. Now here is the original road trip story, for those who missed it. Rose in Indiana (waiting impatiently for snow!) From: mamadogrose@...To: nsmods Subject: Yoo-hooDate: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 12:43:50 -0500 Hey, y'all. Sorry for disappearing on you. My daughter Ginny & I drove to San to see her daughters; taking advantage of the low gas prices. We left Christmas night & got home New Year's day. I meant to send a message before we left, but forgot it with all the chaos. I've been sleeping most of the last 3 days, recuperating. I'll try to get caught up on messages today. Meanwhile, here's some entertainment for you. I composed a country-western song based on our trip. You'll have to make up your own melody as I don't know how to write music. The trip down was going okay, with an hour to go, when I had a blowout on the freeway in Austin. Things went downhill from there & by the time we got to San I was ready to blow my stack. I know how to de-escalate & usually do it, but this time I just forged ahead, arguing with Ginny even though I know it's pointless. Finally, I just had a total meltdown, pulled over on the freeway, got out & started trying to hitchhike. A cop stopped to see what was going on & I told him I wasn't getting back into the car with Ginny, so he put me in the back of his squad car & took me to my granddaughter's apartment. Ginny eventually apologized to me & we patched things up. That's the first 2 verses, with a little poetic license. Then on the way home we got stopped in Arkansas. The state trooper said that I was swerving & he wondered if I was sleepy. I told him, truthfully, that I was just wiggling around trying to get my bottom comfortable. That's the third verse. So, hope you get a smile out of it & send it to the group if you think it's appropriate. Not sure if "ass" will pass muster these days. Missed you all & back at you later! Rose/Grandma Road Ode (Trippin') We blew a tire in Austin, Texas;A nice man stopped to help us fix it.But it was blowwwwn (high note) beyond repair;Went to Walmart and bought one there. Oh, we was tired, tired, oh so tiredwhen that tire went to bits.We was tired, tired, oh so tired,then Grandma had a fit. The po-lice came with lights a-blinkin';Grandma's heart started sinkin'.They threw her in that paddy wagon,But couldn't stand to hear her naggin'. Oh, we was tired, tired, oh so tiredwhen that tire went to bits.We was tired, tired, oh so tired,then Grandma had a fit. Left San Antone for Indiana,Got stopped again in Texarkana.The trooper said, "You're swervin', Ma'am,"But Grandma said, "Your ass I am!" Oh, we was tired, tired, oh so tiredwhen that tire went to bits.We was tired, tired, so very tired,When Grandma had her fit.Yes, she did, she had a fit.She had a big ol' hissy fit! January 1, 2009/Rose Copyright pending. Windows Live™ Hotmail®: Chat. Store. Share. Do more with mail. See how it works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.