Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 When I first announced to my extended family that I was pregnant with my son, my cousin's 4 year old daughter said, " I know why you are having a baby, it is because you are so fat. " I knew she didn't mean it in a bad way, it was just how her young mind processed things. I know many people think these kinds of things, but we learn it is rude to say them outloud. Little kids don't understand that. Of course her mother quickly stepped in and told her it was rude to say that. I proceded to tell the little girl that it was true that I was fat, but that wasn't why I was having a baby. Then I explained that people don't like when someone else points out something that is wrong with them. She seemed to understand that and I have never heard a comment like that out of her again. Kathy M. DS 7/19/01 213 pre-op 160 today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 My girls are 4 and 6, and in the past I haven't wanted to discipline them for making an innocent observation. However, now they're a bit older and able to understand better, I am teaching them that it " isn't polite " to remark on another person's appearance unless they are paying a compliment. So, if god forbid they should ever remark on anyone's appearance, be it a skin condition, a disability, or anything else, I feel like I can comfortably say, loud enough for the " victim " to hear, " It isn't polite to comment on another person's appearance " , and hopefully the person will know that I'm trying to teach them right. I think many times when kids comment and the parent doesn't publicly correct them, it's a case of the parent being dumbstruck and unable to know WHAT to say without making it worse for the person who was commented upon. Hopefully my planned strategy will work if and when I need to use it. M. --- in Valrico, FL, age 39 Lap DGB/DS by Dr. Rabkin 10/19/99 Starting weight 299, now 155 Starting BMI 49.7, now 25.8 Starting size 26/28, now 10/12 http://www.duodenalswitch.com/Patients/_M_/melanie_m_.html Direct replies: mailto:melanie@... _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 Although I refuse to be insulted at comments about my fat, I also refuse to be pleased by " compliments " about my body. If how I look is off limits, that is both big, small and everything in between. Compliments about losing weight and silence about obesity reinforce the view that one is okay and one is bad. You don't need 3 guesses to know which is which. I'd prefer to say to their kid, " yes she is large, isn't she? And she is a big beautiful woman. " in Seattle > My girls are 4 and 6, and in the past I haven't wanted to discipline > them for making an innocent observation. However, now they're a bit > older and able to understand better, I am teaching them that it " isn't > polite " to remark on another person's appearance unless they are paying > a compliment. So, if god forbid they should ever remark on anyone's > appearance, be it a skin condition, a disability, or anything else, I > feel like I can comfortably say, loud enough for the " victim " to hear, > " It isn't polite to comment on another person's appearance " , and > hopefully the person will know that I'm trying to teach them right. I > think many times when kids comment and the parent doesn't publicly > correct them, it's a case of the parent being dumbstruck and unable to > know WHAT to say without making it worse for the person who was > commented upon. Hopefully my planned strategy will work if and when I > need to use it. > > M. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2001 Report Share Posted October 11, 2001 Before my surgery, I was very self-contious about my size and comments about it. My son (who is 3) and I were playing a word game based on a Dr. Seuss book. The book is an ABC book that starts with " Big A, little a, what begins with a... " This or something like this is done for all the letters. My son loves this book and will recite the whole thing. He started using the same phrase for other things. He would point at a big and small tree in our yard and say " Big tree, little tree, what begins with tree... " One day I was changing him and he said " Big mama, little Andy... " At first I thought he was referring to my weight and I was a little upset. Then I realized that he was just referring to the fact that I am bigger than him. I learned to accept comments like that at face value and not read into them. Now that I am 56 lbs. lighter, he still says " Big mama, little Andy... " Kathy M. DS 7/19/01 213 pre-op 157 today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 18, 2010 Report Share Posted April 18, 2010 Fw: Kid's are wonderful, aren't they.... CUTE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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