out of control

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to comment on this thread. I think that many of us

can point to at least some experience(s) with this kind of eating.

It is such a frightening thing.

One of my best buds is finally getting approval and going through

with a gastric bypass in two weeks. She told me that her doctor had

recommended a liquid diet to shrink her liver to make it easier to

operate. I told her that I wasn't able to do that because my

binging was so out of control that I could not put the brakes on for

any reason for 6-8 weeks prior to my own surgery.

I remember that anxiety of eating everything in sight and just not

being able to stop. It makes me ill just thinking of it now. I

think two things have contributed to my not eating out of control

anymore.

THE FIRST THING is that I never diet anymore, so I never have to

rebound from deprivation. I don't have that belief that many of the

folks on this board believe... and that is... that they can diet or

have any control over their weight. I don't... and I don't think I

ever did. Before gastric bypass, I thought I had some control

because I could diet or starve or whatever and could lose weight.

Of course, then the inevitable huge gains came later. But for a

while, I thought I could control it. I cannot.

So, now I eat like there is no diet that will fix whatever is my

perceived problem with my weight. I eat the way I have come to

eat. I mostly eat protein first and then a little of this and

that. I was only able to truly give up sweets the first 4-5 months

I was postop... now I have a bite size candy bar at least once a

day, but never more than a couple of times a day. When I am really,

really hungry it's a signal to me that I must not have gotten enough

protein; and I drink that wonderful chocolate whey stack thing from

vitalady. In fact, I pretty much drink one of those a day (at

least) since I became ill and am now in recovery mode.

The SECOND THING is when I eat... I eat small amounts. Now that

sounds simple to say... but I believe that my stomach can be

expanded and shrunk to some extent. If I eat a lot, then I come to

want to eat a lot. When I eat a little, I get use to eating a

little. I really noticed this big time while I was having

chemotherapy. I hated the sight, smell, touch of food. I started

eating tiny amounts... almost exactly what I was eating when I was

first postop. Pretty soon I discovered that I couldn't really

comfortably eat more than that tiny amount. It caused me to lose

weight again. I am a bit smaller than I want to be, but I am not

rushing to change anything because I know that it will come back to

me when my body is ready to regulate itself. I have given up

believing that I have any control.

To recap... I get lots of protein to quash the hunger issues and I

eat small amounts to get my body use to only wanting small amounts.

I never go hungry... never. I don't eat diet foods. I eat good

foods only tiny amounts.

just my take on it,

Okie (whose hair is starting to sprout upon her bald head... hooray!)

from a size 26-28 to size 4 jeans (hard to believe)