Guest guest Posted June 27, 2006 Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 Even though my main problem at the moment seems to be that I am going stir-crazy from being tethered to a feeding pump 18+ hours a day, and you would think I could ise all the interaction and distractions possible, I have not been here in the group for several days. I have reached a point where I need to sedate myself with anti- anxiety drugs so I don't start climbing the walls. This makes it hard for me to concentrate and to read and write with my usual facility. Of course, everything depends on my ability to begin to swallow and replace the enteral feeding with real food, and I am several weeks' of healing away from that. So I'm just trying to survive it. I see the radiation oncologist on July 3, and hopefully I will get some guidance then. I am tentatively scheduled for my neck surgery in early August, and obviously the feeding tube will be removed before then. (If not, they'll probably replace it.) If only I were a believer I would have the comforts of prayer and a reason to offer up my suffering. But since I am not, all I can do is continue to endure. Thanks for letting me vent. Randy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 Randy... I'm so sorry that you are in such a crappy situation, it doesn't seem fair at all. As far as not being a believer, sometimes prayer can really just take you to a more relaxed meditative state...I don't know if you have somebody in your lo ife whois important to you who might have passed away, maybe a grandparent or a friend...or heck, even a pet. But sometimes, talking to that memory, spending the time to breath and relax and start an inner dialog, with a little hope attached, can really help. You may find that in those quiet moments, when you let your mind calm down and relax...you may just connect to your higher power...you may hear and feel a peace that passes understanding. I'm not trying to preach...but hey, give it a try. You may find that it brings you more serenity than you thought possible...even if you don't necessarily believe that there is somebody listening. It gives you the chance to reflect, to meditate, to calm down and to just be. Good luck to you my friend. Hang in there...we're counting on you. I'm going to be in Europe for three weeks, leaving on Thursday. So please know that I'm thinking about you, and just sending positive thoughts your way. Big hugs, Robynn --- jackpoint_94401 wrote: > Even though my main problem at the moment seems to > be that I am > going stir-crazy from being tethered to a feeding > pump 18+ hours a > day, and you would think I could ise all the > interaction and > distractions possible, I have not been here in the > group for several > days. > > I have reached a point where I need to sedate myself > with anti- > anxiety drugs so I don't start climbing the walls. > This makes it > hard for me to concentrate and to read and write > with my usual > facility. Of course, everything depends on my > ability to begin to > swallow and replace the enteral feeding with real > food, and I am > several weeks' of healing away from that. So I'm > just trying to > survive it. I see the radiation oncologist on July > 3, and hopefully > I will get some guidance then. I am tentatively > scheduled for my > neck surgery in early August, and obviously the > feeding tube will be > removed before then. (If not, they'll probably > replace it.) > > If only I were a believer I would have the comforts > of prayer and a > reason to offer up my suffering. But since I am not, > all I can do is > continue to endure. > > Thanks for letting me vent. > > Randy > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 Randy, I like Robynn am not preaching to you here either. First and foremost, I am a believer and have what some would refer to as crazy faith in God. You say you are not a believer and that is the great thing about the God that I serve, He does not make it a requirement...He just ask that you do so because there is liberty in Christ. Second, why don't you give it a try. You have nothing to lose. IF nothing changes then continue not to believe but WHEN something does change....and it will then you will know that when things get a little rough you can always whisper a prayer. I will remember you when I pray. Pam Marsh --- Robynn VanPatten wrote: > Randy... > > I'm so sorry that you are in such a crappy > situation, > it doesn't seem fair at all. > > As far as not being a believer, sometimes prayer can > really just take you to a more relaxed meditative > state...I don't know if you have somebody in your lo > ife whois important to you who might have passed > away, > maybe a grandparent or a friend...or heck, even a > pet. > But sometimes, talking to that memory, spending the > time to breath and relax and start an inner dialog, > with a little hope attached, can really help. > > You may find that in those quiet moments, when you > let > your mind calm down and relax...you may just connect > to your higher power...you may hear and feel a peace > that passes understanding. > > I'm not trying to preach...but hey, give it a try. > You may find that it brings you more serenity than > you > thought possible...even if you don't necessarily > believe that there is somebody listening. It gives > you the chance to reflect, to meditate, to calm down > and to just be. > > Good luck to you my friend. Hang in there...we're > counting on you. I'm going to be in Europe for > three > weeks, leaving on Thursday. So please know that I'm > thinking about you, and just sending positive > thoughts your way. > > Big hugs, > Robynn > > --- jackpoint_94401 > wrote: > > > Even though my main problem at the moment seems to > > be that I am > > going stir-crazy from being tethered to a feeding > > pump 18+ hours a > > day, and you would think I could ise all the > > interaction and > > distractions possible, I have not been here in the > > group for several > > days. > > > > I have reached a point where I need to sedate > myself > > with anti- > > anxiety drugs so I don't start climbing the walls. > > This makes it > > hard for me to concentrate and to read and write > > with my usual > > facility. Of course, everything depends on my > > ability to begin to > > swallow and replace the enteral feeding with real > > food, and I am > > several weeks' of healing away from that. So I'm > > just trying to > > survive it. I see the radiation oncologist on July > > 3, and hopefully > > I will get some guidance then. I am tentatively > > scheduled for my > > neck surgery in early August, and obviously the > > feeding tube will be > > removed before then. (If not, they'll probably > > replace it.) > > > > If only I were a believer I would have the > comforts > > of prayer and a > > reason to offer up my suffering. But since I am > not, > > all I can do is > > continue to endure. > > > > Thanks for letting me vent. > > > > Randy > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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