Guest guest Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Randy I remember when my second son was born at 6 months (28 weeks gestation) he was 1 pound 13 ozs, then within days down to 1 pound 4 ozs he only had 25% chance of making it (this was 21 years ago), when he finally came home 4 months later, he was on oxygen, heart monitor, IV's, (oh how do you deal with all the machines), plus his brother when he came home was only 23 months. They are 19 months apart due to my youngest coming early. I had lost 4 children before finally having these 2. Then my first I was bedridden for 9 months, I gained 75 pounds, my son was to big for me to deliver 10 pounds 12 ozs, had a c- section and within 2 days was severely sick with such a high fever, I had staff infection, another surgery with 8 drains put in me, in the hospital for 3 weeks, just as we went home my son started projectile (spelling?) vomiting, he could vomit all the way across the room. He had pyloric stignosis, his stomach had closed and his food had no where to go but back up, he had surgery. Then I was pregnant way to soon, and yes I was on birth control. Pregnancies just didn't do well with me, always a surprise and many complications. Anyways my second son was this little premature baby, with so many complications, he had a bad brain bleed, heart problems (had heart surgery), hernia (had surgery), was on the oxygen and heart monitor for 10 months, I was told not to expect him to be normal due to the brain bleed, on the oxygen so long, and his heart stopped 2 times and I was able to bring him back, but he was a fighter and I'm a fighter. I didn't think I could at the time make it though all this. On top of all this, this is when my husband's dad died and my husband couldn't take the stress overload and started having all his mental illness, panic attacks, depression and more. I tried to do all I could to keep life as a happy normal (what's normal?) life, you know enjoy each day, think of the positives and not all the negatives. My son was alive and all we could do is hope for the best for each of us in this family. Enjoy each other, and what the beauty in the world had to offer even during these hard times. I did load up my son with all his machines and we still got out to go places like a walk in the park, a picnic at the beach, more simple things, but not just staying house bond. With time my boys got very healthy, my husband just got worse with his mental illness and very angry to us and the world, I became co-dependent trying to fix all the problems trying to make it better for him, and of course just giving up everything for me, becoming very unhappy, and obese. I keep working on my husbands problems with him seeing many doctors, psychologist, behavior classes. Then also started taking control of my life again, and thinking of me having the WLS, seeing psychologist and not being co-dependent, but still being there for my husband and boys. My husband did not like that I wanted to go exercise, or do things for me, he thought he was left out, he just wasn't I still did everything as a wife, but his depression had caused him to be so much house bond and he didn't want me to leave anywhere. This caused us to split, and even though I was hoping for help to work on him, he started his addictions again, drinking again bad after he hadn't in 10 years, then now he found someone new. He's known her 2 weeks and has started AA and NA, I was sad he didn't do this for his family and our marriage of 24 years. Then again I am happy that maybe, just maybe he can have a better life, because his mental illness and additions have been really hard over the last 16 to 20 years, some years okay, some so bad, I just wanted our marriage to work and him to be better. It didn't happen, I'm okay and hoping he does start to enjoy life, I'm actually relieved I'm done having to be there and can live a better life now. My boys are so wonderful, and we have such a nice family the 3 of us, better than with my husband (all the anger). Both boys are healthy, in college, work, have girlfriends and life is better. I start my divorce tomorrow, and I never thought I would be happy to do this. So for you Randy, dear guy who has been going through so much, have faith. I know it's so hard with the tube, but you have been doing better than you thought in the beginning. With the feeding tube are you house bond because of it? Is there anyway you can get out just for short periods of time. Do you enjoy music, watching movies, reading books, working puzzles? There are so many things to do or to try something new like maybe painting a picture. Just try to find things to keep your mind off of how much longer, when life will be back to normal (what's normal?), take each situation and make it for the best and in the end you will win out. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there. Take care. Donna Jjackpoint_94401 wrote: Even though I seem to be improving steadily, my doctors are saying I may be on the feeding tube for as long as four months more. Since I'm stuck on it 18 hours a day, this prospect is scary to me. I would also like to get back to normal post-bariatric diet. Any suggestions on how to cope with being shut in and tethered to a pump? Randy Donna JordonDSJordon@... Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Wow Donna I can't even imagine going thru what you have endured! Your strength is an inspiration. Thank you. Randy Even though I seem to be improving steadily, my doctors are saying I > may be on the feeding tube for as long as four months more. Since I'm > stuck on it 18 hours a day, this prospect is scary to me. I would also > like to get back to normal post-bariatric diet. > > Any suggestions on how to cope with being shut in and tethered to a > pump? > > Randy > > > > > > > Donna Jordon > > DSJordon@... > > --------------------------------- > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Randy This is just a few things, I have had 14 surgeries, I have pieces of hip w screws in my feet, and many things taken out or fixed. I wore cast on both feet at different times with many surgeries for over 5 years. There was sixteen deaths in 1 year, and just about 3 months ago now I lost my dad, and I can add more to this, but you know my fine friend you have to look for the beauty. Sometimes it seems hard, but we must find away. I am now enjoying lots of new adventures. I just got back from Colorado a few weeks ago, I'm checking into parasailing in Aug., I start back to College in Aug., next year 2007 I will be going to China and Japan, then in 2008 I will have my wet socks and bat wings plastic surgery (boobs and arms). SMILE! Always know there is beauty and things could be worse. Take care. Donna Jjackpoint_94401 wrote: Wow Donna I can't even imagine going thru what you have endured! Your strength is an inspiration. Thank you. Randy Even though I seem to be improving steadily, my doctors are saying I > may be on the feeding tube for as long as four months more. Since I'm > stuck on it 18 hours a day, this prospect is scary to me. I would also > like to get back to normal post-bariatric diet. > > Any suggestions on how to cope with being shut in and tethered to a > pump? > > Randy > > > > > > > Donna Jordon > > DSJordon@... > > --------------------------------- > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1�/min. > Donna JordonDSJordon@... Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Randy i can't imagine what you are going thru but hang in there and we will be thinking of you...hugs,dama > > Even though I seem to be improving steadily, my doctors are saying I > may be on the feeding tube for as long as four months more. Since I'm > stuck on it 18 hours a day, this prospect is scary to me. I would also > like to get back to normal post-bariatric diet. > > Any suggestions on how to cope with being shut in and tethered to a > pump? > > Randy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2006 Report Share Posted July 11, 2006 Donna I see all the beauty I need to see in your post. Again. you are inspiring. Thank you. Randy Even though I seem to be > improving steadily, my doctors are saying I > > may be on the feeding tube for as long as four months more. Since > I'm > > stuck on it 18 hours a day, this prospect is scary to me. I would > also > > like to get back to normal post-bariatric diet. > > > > Any suggestions on how to cope with being shut in and tethered to > a > > pump? > > > > Randy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Donna Jordon > > > > DSJordon@ > > > > --------------------------------- > > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. > Great rates starting at 1�/min. > > > > > > > > > Donna Jordon > > DSJordon@... > > --------------------------------- > Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs.Try it free. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2006 Report Share Posted July 11, 2006 Randy, I hope you can stay upbeat and entertained. I had most of my 25 surgeries on my leg prior to owning a computer.... the later ones after the internet connection was a huge difference... I discovered bored.com, jigzone.com and pogo for some mindless entertainment. I also found a few interesting interactive chat rooms for some shared hobbies and connected with some pen pals throughout the world. One of them is a cancer survivor from a cancer connection website. One of my biggest days? The day I got to go grocery shopping and use the motorized shopping cart...even with my friend constantly pointing out that even the senior citizens moved faster that that cart! But hey even tho i was totally exhausted I got to go out and pick out my own groceries! those are just a few suggestions....Also, if you knit or crotchet there are programs for caps for kids, premie blankets etc that you can work on....maybe a new hobby? I hope one or two of these helps ya gl Beejackpoint_94401 wrote: Even though I seem to be improving steadily, my doctors are saying I may be on the feeding tube for as long as four months more. Since I'm stuck on it 18 hours a day, this prospect is scary to me. I would also like to get back to normal post-bariatric diet. Any suggestions on how to cope with being shut in and tethered to a pump?Randy Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2006 Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 Randy, You have every right to feel sorry for yourself and to feel driven to distraction by boredom. It's normal, natural, and i can't even imagine how hard it must be. Just recently, I had to have a lumbar puncture to make sure that I didn't have spinal menegitis. I wound up with a spinal fluid leak, and was flat on my back (literally) for five days. My head hurt so much, I couldn't read, couldn't watch tv, couldn't listen to music. It was horrible. Even though I was in excruciating pain, I was still bored out of my bloody gourd!! So, I can imagine that feeling like you are going to be stuck at home in that way for a long time must be rough. Is it transportable? I think Donna's suggestion about going to the beach is an excellent one. I'm sure your girlfriend would be happy to drive you there. Getting those ions from the ocean will restore your soul and your body in a way that little else can. And please, don't feel worried about " how it will look " . I mean, this is YOU, this is your life...you are fighting a battle...and you need your spirit to be joyful, as strong as possible. People will view you with compassion...and maybe curiosity, but it is usually very well-meaning. Nature can do wonders. Even if you can't walk too much, or if it is too difficult to go far, you can still park yourself on a blanket... Or take a ride up to the wine country, or to the Marin Headlands, or to the Santa Cruz mountains. There is so much beauty around us, we are so lucky to be in the Bay Area. if it is not portable, talk to your doctors...maybe there is something you can get that will allow you to have it be more portable? If not, at a minimum, make sure you get outside in the sun a bit, even if it's just on your front or back porch. You need some Vitamin A. Randy, I'm not going to even pretend I know what it is like. Donna, bless her heart, has been through hell and back, and you are doing the same now. I've been spared that, thank God. But do know that you are entitled to feel like crap, and to feel bad and down and depressed sometimes. And anytime you want to express those feelings, we are here, and we hear. And we are praying for and thinking about you. Do you paint or draw? Do you write? Have you thought about trying your hand at an online writing course, so that you can escape into a fictional world of your own creation...or so that you can journal your experiences? You write very well, you should think about it. I think a creative outlet would help you. This is your time to develop a new hobby, one that you've always wanted to try...be it model building or whittling or a new instrument or water colors....heck, even getting a huge box of crayons and some coloring books can be extremely satisfying. Good luck, brother. We are with you. Robynn --- jackpoint_94401 wrote: > Donna I see all the beauty I need to see in your > post. Again. you > are inspiring. Thank you. > > Randy > > > > > > > > Randy > > > I remember when my second son was born at 6 > months (28 weeks > > gestation) he was 1 pound 13 ozs, then within > days down to 1 > pound > > 4 ozs he only had 25% chance of making it (this > was 21 years > ago), > > when he finally came home 4 months later, he was > on oxygen, heart > > monitor, IV's, (oh how do you deal with all the > machines), plus > his > > brother when he came home was only 23 months. > They are 19 months > > apart due to my youngest coming early. I had > lost 4 children > before > > finally having these 2. Then my first I was > bedridden for 9 > months, > > I gained 75 pounds, my son was to big for me to > deliver 10 pounds > 12 > > ozs, had a c- section and within 2 days was > severely sick with > such > > a high fever, I had staff infection, another > surgery with 8 > drains > > put in me, in the hospital for 3 weeks, just as > we went home my > son > > started projectile (spelling?) vomiting, he could > vomit all the > way > > across the room. He had pyloric stignosis, his > stomach had > closed > > and his food had no where to go but back up, > > > he had surgery. Then I was pregnant way to > soon, and yes I > was > > on birth control. Pregnancies just didn't do > well with me, > always a > > surprise and many complications. Anyways my > second son was this > > little premature baby, with so many > complications, he had a bad > > brain bleed, heart problems (had heart surgery), > hernia (had > > surgery), was on the oxygen and heart monitor for > 10 months, I > was > > told not to expect him to be normal due to the > brain bleed, on > the > > oxygen so long, and his heart stopped 2 times and > I was able to > > bring him back, but he was a fighter and I'm a > fighter. I didn't > > think I could at the time make it though all > this. On top of all > > this, this is when my husband's dad died and my > husband couldn't > > take the stress overload and started having all > his mental > illness, > > panic attacks, depression and more. I tried to > do all I could to > > keep life as a happy normal (what's normal?) > life, you know enjoy > > each day, think of the positives and not all the > negatives. My > son > > > was alive and all we could do is hope for the > best for each of > us > > in this family. Enjoy each other, and what the > beauty in the > world > > had to offer even during these hard times. I did > load up my son > > with all his machines and we still got out to go > places like a > walk > > in the park, a picnic at the beach, more simple > things, but not > just > > staying house bond. With time my boys got very > healthy, my > husband > > just got worse with his mental illness and very > angry to us and > the > > world, I became co-dependent trying to fix all > the problems > trying > > to make it better for him, and of course just > giving up > everything > > for me, becoming very unhappy, and obese. I keep > working on my > > husbands problems with him seeing many doctors, > psychologist, > > behavior classes. Then also started taking > control of my life > > again, and thinking of me having the WLS, seeing > psychologist and > > not being co-dependent, but still being there for > my husband and > > boys. My husband did not like that I wanted to > go exercise, > > > or do things for me, he thought he was left > out, he just > wasn't I > > still did everything as a wife, but his > depression had caused him > to > > be so much house bond and he didn't want me to > leave anywhere. > This > > caused us to split, and even though I was hoping > for help to work > on > > him, he started his addictions again, drinking > again bad after he > > hadn't in 10 years, then now he found someone > new. He's known > her 2 > > weeks and has started AA and NA, I was sad he > didn't do this for > his > > family and our marriage of 24 years. Then again > I am happy that > > maybe, just maybe he can have a better life, > because his mental > > illness and additions have been really hard over > the last 16 to > 20 > > years, some years okay, some so bad, I just > wanted our marriage > to > > work and him to be better. It didn't happen, I'm > okay and hoping > he > > does start to enjoy life, I'm actually relieved > I'm === message truncated === Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2006 Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 Thanks for the tips, Bee. The meds I take for pain, etc., make it hard for me to concentrate, so I don't watch TV, read, surf the net, etc., as much as I thought I would be able to. But I'm getting better, so I'll be able to try your ideas. Randy > Even though I seem to be improving steadily, my doctors are saying I > may be on the feeding tube for as long as four months more. Since I'm > stuck on it 18 hours a day, this prospect is scary to me. I would also > like to get back to normal post-bariatric diet. > > Any suggestions on how to cope with being shut in and tethered to a > pump? > > Randy > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2006 Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 Thanks as always Robynn Randy > > > > > > > > Randy > > > > I remember when my second son was born at 6 > > months (28 weeks > > > gestation) he was 1 pound 13 ozs, then within > > days down to 1 > > pound > > > 4 ozs he only had 25% chance of making it (this > > was 21 years > > ago), > > > when he finally came home 4 months later, he was > > on oxygen, heart > > > monitor, IV's, (oh how do you deal with all the > > machines), plus > > his > > > brother when he came home was only 23 months. > > They are 19 months > > > apart due to my youngest coming early. I had > > lost 4 children > > before > > > finally having these 2. Then my first I was > > bedridden for 9 > > months, > > > I gained 75 pounds, my son was to big for me to > > deliver 10 pounds > > 12 > > > ozs, had a c- section and within 2 days was > > severely sick with > > such > > > a high fever, I had staff infection, another > > surgery with 8 > > drains > > > put in me, in the hospital for 3 weeks, just as > > we went home my > > son > > > started projectile (spelling?) vomiting, he could > > vomit all the > > way > > > across the room. He had pyloric stignosis, his > > stomach had > > closed > > > and his food had no where to go but back up, > > > > he had surgery. Then I was pregnant way to > > soon, and yes I > > was > > > on birth control. Pregnancies just didn't do > > well with me, > > always a > > > surprise and many complications. Anyways my > > second son was this > > > little premature baby, with so many > > complications, he had a bad > > > brain bleed, heart problems (had heart surgery), > > hernia (had > > > surgery), was on the oxygen and heart monitor for > > 10 months, I > > was > > > told not to expect him to be normal due to the > > brain bleed, on > > the > > > oxygen so long, and his heart stopped 2 times and > > I was able to > > > bring him back, but he was a fighter and I'm a > > fighter. I didn't > > > think I could at the time make it though all > > this. On top of all > > > this, this is when my husband's dad died and my > > husband couldn't > > > take the stress overload and started having all > > his mental > > illness, > > > panic attacks, depression and more. I tried to > > do all I could to > > > keep life as a happy normal (what's normal?) > > life, you know enjoy > > > each day, think of the positives and not all the > > negatives. My > > son > > > > was alive and all we could do is hope for the > > best for each of > > us > > > in this family. Enjoy each other, and what the > > beauty in the > > world > > > had to offer even during these hard times. I did > > load up my son > > > with all his machines and we still got out to go > > places like a > > walk > > > in the park, a picnic at the beach, more simple > > things, but not > > just > > > staying house bond. With time my boys got very > > healthy, my > > husband > > > just got worse with his mental illness and very > > angry to us and > > the > > > world, I became co-dependent trying to fix all > > the problems > > trying > > > to make it better for him, and of course just > > giving up > > everything > > > for me, becoming very unhappy, and obese. I keep > > working on my > > > husbands problems with him seeing many doctors, > > psychologist, > > > behavior classes. Then also started taking > > control of my life > > > again, and thinking of me having the WLS, seeing > > psychologist and > > > not being co-dependent, but still being there for > > my husband and > > > boys. My husband did not like that I wanted to > > go exercise, > > > > or do things for me, he thought he was left > > out, he just > > wasn't I > > > still did everything as a wife, but his > > depression had caused him > > to > > > be so much house bond and he didn't want me to > > leave anywhere. > > This > > > caused us to split, and even though I was hoping > > for help to work > > on > > > him, he started his addictions again, drinking > > again bad after he > > > hadn't in 10 years, then now he found someone > > new. He's known > > her 2 > > > weeks and has started AA and NA, I was sad he > > didn't do this for > > his > > > family and our marriage of 24 years. Then again > > I am happy that > > > maybe, just maybe he can have a better life, > > because his mental > > > illness and additions have been really hard over > > the last 16 to > > 20 > > > years, some years okay, some so bad, I just > > wanted our marriage > > to > > > work and him to be better. It didn't happen, I'm > > okay and hoping > > he > > > does start to enjoy life, I'm actually relieved > > I'm > === message truncated === > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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