Robynn: the Dave story... sorry long post

[Guest guest]

Robynn:

Dave and I met at a square dancing event on March 25th of this year.

The truth is, we'd met and danced together before, but for some

reason, this time was different.

He asked me to dance, and, in usual gay square dancing tradition, we

all hugged at the end of the tip (tip = dance session). During the

break, we talked a bit, and then we danced the next tip, and the hug

turned into a peck on the cheek. Then the peck on the cheek turning

into a full kiss, and well, we ended up dancing together for the rest

of the evening.

When it was time to go home, Dave asked me if I wanted a ride, and I

said yes. We've been dating ever since that meeting. I had been

actively dating several guy (as you know), and Dave was one of them,

but from the beginning there was something different about him that

set him apart from the other guys.

Dave is a bit older than I am. I'm 43, he's 52. He lives in Palo

Alto, and is a research fellow at a major corporation. Until

recently, I didn't realize he was such a computer " guru " until his

corporation sued Palm (of Palm Pilot) for using one of Dave's

patented ideas without permission, and the settlement was for $22.5

million. Dave's work centers on getting computers to do searches

more efficiently, more like the human brain. Currently, he's working

on the analysis of glycopeptides and bioinformatics. What does that

mean? Um… I have no idea. Then again, I have an MA in linguistics,

but his PhD is in mathematics from Princeton, no less.

Despite his brainy qualities, Dave is one of the sweetest, most down-

to-earth guys I've met. And he's VERY tactile. (And as an added

bonus, he's hairy and wears a full beard… he's so cute in a cowboy

hat and boots!) He holds my hand all the time, and even when we're

having dinner at a restaurant, he makes sure our feet are touching

under the table. This is a big contrast to my ex who NEVER touched

me. And the best part is that Dave is the cuddliest sleeper I've

ever been with. He sleeps right up next to me (which I love), and

we're touching all night long, even sleeping in each other's arms.

The other night he said, " Why are you doing that? " I said, " What do

you mean? " He said, " There's some blanket between us. I want to feel

your skin next to mine. " I moved in closer, and he said,

cooing, " That's better. " And we spooned as we fell asleep.

For a while, I was feeling ambivalent about Dave. I was over-

analyzing our connection, wondering what would come of it. After

all, Dave lives in Palo Alto, and I live in San Francisco (long-

distance relationship?). I'm deeply spiritual, and Dave is an

atheist. Dave is naturally slender; I have to work at maintaining my

normal weight. Dave lives in a huge condo worth $1.2 million, and I

rent a studio. Last Sunday, he also mentioned that he needed to

follow up on some savings bonds that he'd purchased six months ago.

They were sent to the wrong address because the bank made an error.

He just realized that he didn't have them yet. So I ask, " How much

are they worth? " totally expecting an answer like $500 OR $1000. Then

oh-so-nonchalantly he says, " $30,000. " I went slack-jawed in

amazement.

When Dave and I went to the square dancing convention together he

paid for our airline tickets, the hotel and most of our meals. He

offered to do this without me asking, and I accepted. So Dave is in

a totally different tax bracket, so to speak. I don't want his

financial situation to influence the way I feel about him. I have to

say, however, that I've always been attracted to a man with big,

thick... wallet! (Just kidding!) Well, here's where my heart is

going...

After a time of not feeling secure, not being sure about me feelings,

I'm taking friends' advice, listening to my heart, heeding the words

of my pastor, and letting myself be happy for now. How many times

have I prayed for a man who is sweet, kind and tactile? How many

times have I envisioned him being hairy, masculine and accomplished?

How many times did I pray that he'd adore me? How many times did I

wish that he'd like to dance? And here I get someone plopped into my

lap, and I'm thinking, " Is he the one? " looking for reasons that it

won't work, maybe, just maybe because I'm afraid to surrender my

heart for fear of being hurt again.

I have to give Dave credit. Despite his atheism, he actually came to

church with me and took communion (which is OK at my church as we

practice open communion where everyone is welcome regardless of faith

background). My ex NEVER did that for me. When he told his brother

(a surgeon from Stockton whom I've met), he said to Dave, " Wow, you

must really love him to do that… " Dave was rather happy to tell me

his brother's reaction.

During one of our late-night talks in bed, we were talking about

other guys. I asked him if he thought one of our square dancing

buddies was cute. He answered, " I don't need to look at other guys

since we've been together. You're all I need. " He continued, " You

know, when I used to go two-stepping, I'd always leave a little

disappointed because I was going home alone, and I hadn't

found `him.' Now, I always leave happy because I know I have you. "

A mutual square dancing friend, , told me that he's seen such a

change in Dave. said, " Ever since you two got together, Dave

smiles all the time. I've never seen him so happy. There is a

lightness about him. "

Dave and I had a GREAT time in Anaheim at the gay square dancing

convention. We hung out with two other couples (Dave's friends), and

we talked, and laughed and danced. One late evening in the cocktail

lounge of our hotel, Dave mentioned my " perfect toenails " to the

guys, and his friend had to look, so right there, took off

my shoes, then admired my feet. He had his partner take a pic of him

massaging my feet. He actually wanted a pic of my feet, and all

gathered around to admire my cute feet. It was hilarious! We were

all laughing so hard.

It was just then when I realized I was feeling more for Dave than

just " like. " It was a tiny little moment, but it was huge in my

heart. Dave was laughing hard, and his bearded face was so

adorable. His eyes were closed, his mouth wide open, cheeks plumped

up in joy, hands clutching his stomach in a huge belly laugh. It was

a moment of pure fun and happiness for him, and it was then I could

feel something stirring in my heart. It was that moment when I began

to fall in love him.

At the closing banquet at the convention, I mentioned that it's

unlikely that I'll be able to go to the next convention since it's

during Memorial Day Weekend and therefore, bad timing with regards to

elections. I asked him, " So are you going to go to the convention? "

And he answered, rather matter-of-factly, " Why would I go if you're

not going to be there? " That one really melted my heart.

He's certainly winning brownie points. When we first got together,

there was infatuation. Then I cooled a bit toward him, questioning,

analyzing, and in some ways, destroying any romantic feelings I had

toward him. Now, I'm feeling steadier about a future with him. My

heart feels at home with him. When he's near, I feel at peace.

Sure we've all got to compromise (long distance? Religious beliefs?

Age?), but when I haven't had a boyfriend, I always think, " Wouldn't

it be great to have one? " Then I have one, and I start to think of

reasons why it won't work. What's up with that?

So that's where I am with Dave. We haven't said the " L " word yet,

but time will tell. For now, I'll just enjoy being adored and relish

the fact that someone out there wants me as much as I want him.

Did I ever think that this would be part of my WLS journey? No way.

It's amazing the doors that being normal weighted opens. The choices

are not always easy, but now, I HAVE choices. I'm not a prisoner

anymore.

Francisco

[Guest guest]

Francisco, I am SO happy for you! If it's the

right thing for you and you don't sabotage

yourself (which it sounds like you aren't doing

so good for you), things will work out how they're supposed to!

Boy, reading your exploits sure reminds me of my

single days! I had a lot of fun, but am VERY glad

to be an old married broad now!

Like I said, I'm very happy for you, and wish you

nothing but the best! You deserve it!

Eleanor Oster

eleanor@... (personal address)

www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

San , CA

Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

~5'9 " tall

05/09/2003 319 Orientation

07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

Current 157±2 Goal until plastics?

[Guest guest]

Im so happy for you Francisco. Listen to your heart, it will tell

you.

>

> Robynn:

>

> Dave and I met at a square dancing event on March 25th of this

year.

> The truth is, we'd met and danced together before, but for some

> reason, this time was different.

>

> He asked me to dance, and, in usual gay square dancing tradition,

we

> all hugged at the end of the tip (tip = dance session). During

the

> break, we talked a bit, and then we danced the next tip, and the

hug

> turned into a peck on the cheek. Then the peck on the cheek

turning

> into a full kiss, and well, we ended up dancing together for the

rest

> of the evening.

>

> When it was time to go home, Dave asked me if I wanted a ride, and

I

> said yes. We've been dating ever since that meeting. I had been

> actively dating several guy (as you know), and Dave was one of

them,

> but from the beginning there was something different about him

that

> set him apart from the other guys.

>

> Dave is a bit older than I am. I'm 43, he's 52. He lives in Palo

> Alto, and is a research fellow at a major corporation. Until

> recently, I didn't realize he was such a computer " guru " until his

> corporation sued Palm (of Palm Pilot) for using one of Dave's

> patented ideas without permission, and the settlement was for

$22.5

> million. Dave's work centers on getting computers to do searches

> more efficiently, more like the human brain. Currently, he's

working

> on the analysis of glycopeptides and bioinformatics. What does

that

> mean? Um… I have no idea. Then again, I have an MA in

linguistics,

> but his PhD is in mathematics from Princeton, no less.

>

> Despite his brainy qualities, Dave is one of the sweetest, most

down-

> to-earth guys I've met. And he's VERY tactile. (And as an added

> bonus, he's hairy and wears a full beard… he's so cute in a cowboy

> hat and boots!) He holds my hand all the time, and even when

we're

> having dinner at a restaurant, he makes sure our feet are touching

> under the table. This is a big contrast to my ex who NEVER

touched

> me. And the best part is that Dave is the cuddliest sleeper I've

> ever been with. He sleeps right up next to me (which I love), and

> we're touching all night long, even sleeping in each other's arms.

> The other night he said, " Why are you doing that? " I said, " What

do

> you mean? " He said, " There's some blanket between us. I want to

feel

> your skin next to mine. " I moved in closer, and he said,

> cooing, " That's better. " And we spooned as we fell asleep.

>

> For a while, I was feeling ambivalent about Dave. I was over-

> analyzing our connection, wondering what would come of it. After

> all, Dave lives in Palo Alto, and I live in San Francisco (long-

> distance relationship?). I'm deeply spiritual, and Dave is an

> atheist. Dave is naturally slender; I have to work at maintaining

my

> normal weight. Dave lives in a huge condo worth $1.2 million, and

I

> rent a studio. Last Sunday, he also mentioned that he needed to

> follow up on some savings bonds that he'd purchased six months

ago.

> They were sent to the wrong address because the bank made an

error.

> He just realized that he didn't have them yet. So I ask, " How much

> are they worth? " totally expecting an answer like $500 OR $1000.

Then

> oh-so-nonchalantly he says, " $30,000. " I went slack-jawed in

> amazement.

>

> When Dave and I went to the square dancing convention together he

> paid for our airline tickets, the hotel and most of our meals. He

> offered to do this without me asking, and I accepted. So Dave is

in

> a totally different tax bracket, so to speak. I don't want his

> financial situation to influence the way I feel about him. I have

to

> say, however, that I've always been attracted to a man with big,

> thick... wallet! (Just kidding!) Well, here's where my heart is

> going...

>

> After a time of not feeling secure, not being sure about me

feelings,

> I'm taking friends' advice, listening to my heart, heeding the

words

> of my pastor, and letting myself be happy for now. How many times

> have I prayed for a man who is sweet, kind and tactile? How many

> times have I envisioned him being hairy, masculine and

accomplished?

> How many times did I pray that he'd adore me? How many times did

I

> wish that he'd like to dance? And here I get someone plopped into

my

> lap, and I'm thinking, " Is he the one? " looking for reasons that

it

> won't work, maybe, just maybe because I'm afraid to surrender my

> heart for fear of being hurt again.

>

> I have to give Dave credit. Despite his atheism, he actually came

to

> church with me and took communion (which is OK at my church as we

> practice open communion where everyone is welcome regardless of

faith

> background). My ex NEVER did that for me. When he told his

brother

> (a surgeon from Stockton whom I've met), he said to Dave, " Wow,

you

> must really love him to do that… " Dave was rather happy to tell

me

> his brother's reaction.

>

> During one of our late-night talks in bed, we were talking about

> other guys. I asked him if he thought one of our square dancing

> buddies was cute. He answered, " I don't need to look at other

guys

> since we've been together. You're all I need. " He continued, " You

> know, when I used to go two-stepping, I'd always leave a little

> disappointed because I was going home alone, and I hadn't

> found `him.' Now, I always leave happy because I know I have you. "

>

> A mutual square dancing friend, , told me that he's seen

such a

> change in Dave. said, " Ever since you two got together,

Dave

> smiles all the time. I've never seen him so happy. There is a

> lightness about him. "

>

> Dave and I had a GREAT time in Anaheim at the gay square dancing

> convention. We hung out with two other couples (Dave's friends),

and

> we talked, and laughed and danced. One late evening in the

cocktail

> lounge of our hotel, Dave mentioned my " perfect toenails " to the

> guys, and his friend had to look, so right there, took

off

> my shoes, then admired my feet. He had his partner take a pic of

him

> massaging my feet. He actually wanted a pic of my feet, and all

> gathered around to admire my cute feet. It was hilarious! We were

> all laughing so hard.

>

> It was just then when I realized I was feeling more for Dave than

> just " like. " It was a tiny little moment, but it was huge in my

> heart. Dave was laughing hard, and his bearded face was so

> adorable. His eyes were closed, his mouth wide open, cheeks

plumped

> up in joy, hands clutching his stomach in a huge belly laugh. It

was

> a moment of pure fun and happiness for him, and it was then I

could

> feel something stirring in my heart. It was that moment when I

began

> to fall in love him.

>

> At the closing banquet at the convention, I mentioned that it's

> unlikely that I'll be able to go to the next convention since it's

> during Memorial Day Weekend and therefore, bad timing with regards

to

> elections. I asked him, " So are you going to go to the

convention? "

> And he answered, rather matter-of-factly, " Why would I go if

you're

> not going to be there? " That one really melted my heart.

>

> He's certainly winning brownie points. When we first got

together,

> there was infatuation. Then I cooled a bit toward him,

questioning,

> analyzing, and in some ways, destroying any romantic feelings I

had

> toward him. Now, I'm feeling steadier about a future with him.

My

> heart feels at home with him. When he's near, I feel at peace.

>

> Sure we've all got to compromise (long distance? Religious

beliefs?

> Age?), but when I haven't had a boyfriend, I always

think, " Wouldn't

> it be great to have one? " Then I have one, and I start to think of

> reasons why it won't work. What's up with that?

>

> So that's where I am with Dave. We haven't said the " L " word yet,

> but time will tell. For now, I'll just enjoy being adored and

relish

> the fact that someone out there wants me as much as I want him.

>

> Did I ever think that this would be part of my WLS journey? No

way.

> It's amazing the doors that being normal weighted opens. The

choices

> are not always easy, but now, I HAVE choices. I'm not a prisoner

> anymore.

>

> Francisco

>

[Guest guest]

FranciscoThis is such a great relationship, and time will tell if the "L" word will come. You question and analyze so much just from all the past hurt, but try not let it get in the way of something good. I have been to hell and back, but I am back and so much better. I am scared of wanting any relationship for some time, my divorce just got started Monday and even with all the bad it breaks my heart. I know it will take some time, then when someone one day comes my way you need to enjoy and just be yourself and see how things turn out. To much questioning and analyzing can turn a good thing into bad, but yet you don't won't to make mistakes from the past either, so it is hard. Remind me how this all works, I'm single after 24 years of marriage, and yet relieved from all the pain that was there with my ex's mental illness. So enjoy the good relationship and good luck, you sound so wonderfully happy. Take care.

Donna Jmanisodream wrote: Robynn: Dave and I met at a square dancing event on March 25th of this year. The truth is, we'd met and danced together before, but for some reason, this time was different. He asked me to dance, and, in usual gay square dancing tradition, we all hugged at the end of the tip (tip = dance session). During the break, we talked a bit, and then we danced the next tip, and the hug turned into a peck on the cheek. Then the peck on the cheek turning into a full

kiss, and well, we ended up dancing together for the rest of the evening. When it was time to go home, Dave asked me if I wanted a ride, and I said yes. We've been dating ever since that meeting. I had been actively dating several guy (as you know), and Dave was one of them, but from the beginning there was something different about him that set him apart from the other guys. Dave is a bit older than I am. I'm 43, he's 52. He lives in Palo Alto, and is a research fellow at a major corporation. Until recently, I didn't realize he was such a computer "guru" until his corporation sued Palm (of Palm Pilot) for using one of Dave's patented ideas without permission, and the settlement was for $22.5 million. Dave's work centers on getting computers to do searches more efficiently, more like the human brain. Currently, he's working on the analysis of glycopeptides and bioinformatics. What does

that mean? Um� I have no idea. Then again, I have an MA in linguistics, but his PhD is in mathematics from Princeton, no less. Despite his brainy qualities, Dave is one of the sweetest, most down- to-earth guys I've met. And he's VERY tactile. (And as an added bonus, he's hairy and wears a full beard� he's so cute in a cowboy hat and boots!) He holds my hand all the time, and even when we're having dinner at a restaurant, he makes sure our feet are touching under the table. This is a big contrast to my ex who NEVER touched me. And the best part is that Dave is the cuddliest sleeper I've ever been with. He sleeps right up next to me (which I love), and we're touching all night long, even sleeping in each other's arms. The other night he said, "Why are you doing that?" I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "There's some blanket between us. I want to feel your skin next to mine." I moved in

closer, and he said, cooing, "That's better." And we spooned as we fell asleep. For a while, I was feeling ambivalent about Dave. I was over- analyzing our connection, wondering what would come of it. After all, Dave lives in Palo Alto, and I live in San Francisco (long- distance relationship?). I'm deeply spiritual, and Dave is an atheist. Dave is naturally slender; I have to work at maintaining my normal weight. Dave lives in a huge condo worth $1.2 million, and I rent a studio. Last Sunday, he also mentioned that he needed to follow up on some savings bonds that he'd purchased six months ago. They were sent to the wrong address because the bank made an error. He just realized that he didn't have them yet. So I ask, "How much are they worth?" totally expecting an answer like $500 OR $1000. Then oh-so-nonchalantly he says, "$30,000." I went slack-jawed in amazement. When Dave and

I went to the square dancing convention together he paid for our airline tickets, the hotel and most of our meals. He offered to do this without me asking, and I accepted. So Dave is in a totally different tax bracket, so to speak. I don't want his financial situation to influence the way I feel about him. I have to say, however, that I've always been attracted to a man with big, thick... wallet! (Just kidding!) Well, here's where my heart is going... After a time of not feeling secure, not being sure about me feelings, I'm taking friends' advice, listening to my heart, heeding the words of my pastor, and letting myself be happy for now. How many times have I prayed for a man who is sweet, kind and tactile? How many times have I envisioned him being hairy, masculine and accomplished? How many times did I pray that he'd adore me? How many times did I wish that he'd like to dance? And

here I get someone plopped into my lap, and I'm thinking, "Is he the one?" looking for reasons that it won't work, maybe, just maybe because I'm afraid to surrender my heart for fear of being hurt again. I have to give Dave credit. Despite his atheism, he actually came to church with me and took communion (which is OK at my church as we practice open communion where everyone is welcome regardless of faith background). My ex NEVER did that for me. When he told his brother (a surgeon from Stockton whom I've met), he said to Dave, "Wow, you must really love him to do that�" Dave was rather happy to tell me his brother's reaction. During one of our late-night talks in bed, we were talking about other guys. I asked him if he thought one of our square dancing buddies was cute. He answered, "I don't need to look at other guys since we've been together. You're all I need." He continued, "You

know, when I used to go two-stepping, I'd always leave a little disappointed because I was going home alone, and I hadn't found `him.' Now, I always leave happy because I know I have you." A mutual square dancing friend, , told me that he's seen such a change in Dave. said, "Ever since you two got together, Dave smiles all the time. I've never seen him so happy. There is a lightness about him." Dave and I had a GREAT time in Anaheim at the gay square dancing convention. We hung out with two other couples (Dave's friends), and we talked, and laughed and danced. One late evening in the cocktail lounge of our hotel, Dave mentioned my "perfect toenails" to the guys, and his friend had to look, so right there, took off my shoes, then admired my feet. He had his partner take a pic of him massaging my feet. He actually wanted a pic of my feet, and all gathered around to

admire my cute feet. It was hilarious! We were all laughing so hard. It was just then when I realized I was feeling more for Dave than just "like." It was a tiny little moment, but it was huge in my heart. Dave was laughing hard, and his bearded face was so adorable. His eyes were closed, his mouth wide open, cheeks plumped up in joy, hands clutching his stomach in a huge belly laugh. It was a moment of pure fun and happiness for him, and it was then I could feel something stirring in my heart. It was that moment when I began to fall in love him. At the closing banquet at the convention, I mentioned that it's unlikely that I'll be able to go to the next convention since it's during Memorial Day Weekend and therefore, bad timing with regards to elections. I asked him, "So are you going to go to the convention?" And he answered, rather matter-of-factly, "Why would I go if you're not

going to be there?" That one really melted my heart. He's certainly winning brownie points. When we first got together, there was infatuation. Then I cooled a bit toward him, questioning, analyzing, and in some ways, destroying any romantic feelings I had toward him. Now, I'm feeling steadier about a future with him. My heart feels at home with him. When he's near, I feel at peace. Sure we've all got to compromise (long distance? Religious beliefs? Age?), but when I haven't had a boyfriend, I always think, "Wouldn't it be great to have one?" Then I have one, and I start to think of reasons why it won't work. What's up with that? So that's where I am with Dave. We haven't said the "L" word yet, but time will tell. For now, I'll just enjoy being adored and relish the fact that someone out there wants me as much as I want him. Did I ever think that this would be part of my WLS journey? No way. It's amazing the doors that being normal weighted opens. The choices are not always easy, but now, I HAVE choices. I'm not a prisoner anymore. Francisco Donna JordonDSJordon@...

How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates.

[Guest guest]

Francisco...

Your story sounds so similar to mine with

(infatuation, cooling and squelching romantic feelings

due to overanalytical self-doubt and general angst),

and then the transition to something more.

Stick with it. The guy is a keeper, just as is .

He's the same way, tactile, cuddly, laughs easily,

adores me...and is smart as a whip. And he's

adorable.

i understand the fear that causes us to overanalyize.

It's like, " This is too good to be true, where is the

flaw? " and then, " Am I settling too quickly? " The

point is...we aren't settling. We've just found him.

Which was our goal all along...but then it's tough to

believe our good luck!

So happy for you, my friend. And it's true...losing

the weight gives you more options. At this wedding in

Sweden, this man (an American) who quite literally is

a billionaire, owns a winery and other lucrative

businesses, as well as two private jets...told me that

I was gorgeous, and I shouldn't settle for somebody

who wasn't completely loaded...that with my brains,

education, whit and " extreme breathtaking beauty " I

should really take things slow with , or any man

who wasn't a gazillionaire.

(The quoted part was him, not me...trust me on that

one.) Of course, I resented that, even though it was

meant as a compliment. It's like, " Hello...I want to

be with somebdy for LOVE, not for money. " That being

said, of course it is appealing when you know your

partner can help you have an easier, more financially

stable, life.

So, just because he's well-off and smart about

investments, doesn't mean he isn't also the right guy

for the RIGHT reasons. The money thing can just be

frosting on the cake.

I mean, has this great house in the Auvergne

region of France...does that add to the mix? Of

course. it's part of him, part of the package.

Do I wish he were loaded? Yep. Are there times when

I wonder if I should " hold out " for one of the guys

that troll the Marina in their $75,000 sports cars?

Sure.

But you know what? I'm happy. Genuinely happy. I've

got a romantic, sweet, true to the core, handsome,

sexy guy who is madly in love with me and wants to

spend his life with me. And gee.. you know what?

that's more than enough!!

Good luck, my friend!

Robynn

--- manisodream wrote:

> Robynn:

>

> Dave and I met at a square dancing event on March

> 25th of this year.

> The truth is, we'd met and danced together before,

> but for some

> reason, this time was different.

>

> He asked me to dance, and, in usual gay square

> dancing tradition, we

> all hugged at the end of the tip (tip = dance

> session). During the

> break, we talked a bit, and then we danced the next

> tip, and the hug

> turned into a peck on the cheek. Then the peck on

> the cheek turning

> into a full kiss, and well, we ended up dancing

> together for the rest

> of the evening.

>

> When it was time to go home, Dave asked me if I

> wanted a ride, and I

> said yes. We've been dating ever since that meeting.

> I had been

> actively dating several guy (as you know), and Dave

> was one of them,

> but from the beginning there was something different

> about him that

> set him apart from the other guys.

>

> Dave is a bit older than I am. I'm 43, he's 52. He

> lives in Palo

> Alto, and is a research fellow at a major

> corporation. Until

> recently, I didn't realize he was such a computer

> " guru " until his

> corporation sued Palm (of Palm Pilot) for using one

> of Dave's

> patented ideas without permission, and the

> settlement was for $22.5

> million. Dave's work centers on getting computers

> to do searches

> more efficiently, more like the human brain.

> Currently, he's working

> on the analysis of glycopeptides and bioinformatics.

> What does that

> mean? Um… I have no idea. Then again, I have an MA

> in linguistics,

> but his PhD is in mathematics from Princeton, no

> less.

>

> Despite his brainy qualities, Dave is one of the

> sweetest, most down-

> to-earth guys I've met. And he's VERY tactile.

> (And as an added

> bonus, he's hairy and wears a full beard… he's so

> cute in a cowboy

> hat and boots!) He holds my hand all the time, and

> even when we're

> having dinner at a restaurant, he makes sure our

> feet are touching

> under the table. This is a big contrast to my ex

> who NEVER touched

> me. And the best part is that Dave is the cuddliest

> sleeper I've

> ever been with. He sleeps right up next to me (which

> I love), and

> we're touching all night long, even sleeping in each

> other's arms.

> The other night he said, " Why are you doing that? " I

> said, " What do

> you mean? " He said, " There's some blanket between

> us. I want to feel

> your skin next to mine. " I moved in closer, and he

> said,

> cooing, " That's better. " And we spooned as we fell

> asleep.

>

> For a while, I was feeling ambivalent about Dave. I

> was over-

> analyzing our connection, wondering what would come

> of it. After

> all, Dave lives in Palo Alto, and I live in San

> Francisco (long-

> distance relationship?). I'm deeply spiritual, and

> Dave is an

> atheist. Dave is naturally slender; I have to work

> at maintaining my

> normal weight. Dave lives in a huge condo worth

> $1.2 million, and I

> rent a studio. Last Sunday, he also mentioned that

> he needed to

> follow up on some savings bonds that he'd purchased

> six months ago.

> They were sent to the wrong address because the bank

> made an error.

> He just realized that he didn't have them yet. So I

> ask, " How much

> are they worth? " totally expecting an answer like

> $500 OR $1000. Then

> oh-so-nonchalantly he says, " $30,000. " I went

> slack-jawed in

> amazement.

>

> When Dave and I went to the square dancing

> convention together he

> paid for our airline tickets, the hotel and most of

> our meals. He

> offered to do this without me asking, and I

> accepted. So Dave is in

> a totally different tax bracket, so to speak. I

> don't want his

> financial situation to influence the way I feel

> about him. I have to

> say, however, that I've always been attracted to a

> man with big,

> thick... wallet! (Just kidding!) Well, here's

> where my heart is

> going...

>

> After a time of not feeling secure, not being sure

> about me feelings,

> I'm taking friends' advice, listening to my heart,

> heeding the words

> of my pastor, and letting myself be happy for now.

> How many times

> have I prayed for a man who is sweet, kind and

> tactile? How many

> times have I envisioned him being hairy, masculine

> and accomplished?

> How many times did I pray that he'd adore me? How

> many times did I

> wish that he'd like to dance? And here I get

> someone plopped into my

> lap, and I'm thinking, " Is he the one? " looking for

> reasons that it

> won't work, maybe, just maybe because I'm afraid to

> surrender my

> heart for fear of being hurt again.

>

> I have to give Dave credit. Despite his atheism, he

> actually came to

> church with me and took communion (which is OK at my

> church as we

> practice open communion where everyone is welcome

> regardless of faith

> background). My ex NEVER did that for me. When he

> told his brother

> (a surgeon from Stockton whom I've met), he said to

> Dave, " Wow, you

> must really love him to do that… " Dave was rather

> happy to tell me

> his brother's reaction.

>

> During one of our late-night talks in bed, we were

> talking about

> other guys. I asked him if he thought one of our

> square dancing

> buddies was cute. He answered, " I don't need to

> look at other guys

> since we've been together. You're all I need. " He

> continued, " You

> know, when I used to go two-stepping, I'd always

> leave a little

> disappointed because I was going home alone, and I

> hadn't

> found `him.' Now, I always leave happy because I

> know I have you. "

>

> A mutual square dancing friend, , told me that

> he's seen such a

> change in Dave. said, " Ever since you two

> got together, Dave

> smiles all the time. I've never seen him so happy.

> There is a

> lightness about him. "

>

> Dave and I had a GREAT time in Anaheim at the gay

> square dancing

> convention. We hung out with two other couples

> (Dave's friends), and

> we talked, and laughed and danced. One late evening

> in the cocktail

> lounge of our hotel, Dave mentioned my " perfect

> toenails " to the

> guys, and his friend had to look, so right

> there, took off

> my shoes, then admired my feet. He had his partner

> take a pic of him

> massaging my feet. He actually wanted a pic of my

> feet, and all

> gathered around to admire my cute feet. It was

> hilarious! We were

> all laughing so hard.

>

> It was just then when I realized I was feeling more

> for Dave than

> just " like. " It was a tiny little moment, but it

> was huge in my

> heart. Dave was laughing hard, and his bearded face

> was so

>

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