Road Trip

[Guest guest]

This past weekend, my two friends and I went to the Black Forest (Germany) and then over to France for a few hours. I had surgery on 8 Aug 2005 and since then, I have lost about 128 pounds. My clothes are a little baggy because I am still losing even while I tone. I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe just yet. But I am sure that I wear 12/14. Which is wonderful for me. I love it. My friends each weigh over 300 pounds. At one point we were all obese and now I am not. While on this road trip with them, we stopped to eat at various locations. I had brought my snacks (fruit, nuts, vitamins, water, peanut butter crackers....and crystal lights tea packets). I ate a little bit to keep me going all day. I didnt notice that they ate

too much but just maybe the wrong foods (like greasy). I cant eat that. When we got to the Triberg waterfalls, we paid to go to the top of the hill but we didnt make it because they were so out of breath and tired. I played it off by saying that my energy was low. I didnt want them to feel bad because I could have run to the top. It hurt me to watch my friends struggle all day. At another point, I pulled out my peanut butter crackers and ate a few and even offered it to them and some of my water but they each declined. After walking for about 1/2 hour, they were hungry but I wasnt. So they ate some fries and some kind of bagette with stuff on it. Even though they offered their food to me, I explained that I could not eat that and that it made me feel ill. They said that they could never have the surgery because they would miss enjoying their food and that I

had to now eat bland foods for the rest of my life. I didnt take offense but it did hurt my feelings. Now my friends and I dont have food in common and we dont have weight issues (loss of breath, high sugar/blood pressure levels, sweating profusely...etc). I dont want new friends, I love my friends. But it felt like I couldn't do anything and all day, I treaded thin ice. I am very respectful and would never do or say anything to hurt anyone especially about weight because I was once obese. I totally understand. I researched this surgery and I prayed with all my heart that I would recover well from it. I wanted to do everything that obesity would not allow me to do. And I felt really bad all day about my decision. And both friends made me feel bad by saying things like (I will lose weight on my own) or (, you're gonna gain it back by eating all

those meals [my snacks]) or (you take too many vitamins) or (you will have to have your surgery monitored for the rest of your life)....blah, blah, blah I didnt say anything. I did notice that several people spoke ill of my friends. Since I understand German, I glared hard at them with anger. Some young people laughed or made jokes and I heard them and I did the same. I felt like I was on the defense. Needless to say, I don't know if I enjoyed my roadtrip because I was either hurt or angry. I was glad when the day ended and when I went to sleep, I prayed that I would figure out what to do. Sincerely,

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