Guest guest Posted October 14, 2001 Report Share Posted October 14, 2001 > Anyway, I was wondering how some of you made it through > not only the pre-op jitters and doubts, but how you handled > friends and family memebers who told you you were crazy for > contemplating the surgery. I've told just about all of my close > friends and only have my parents yet to tell. I've been > procrastinating telling them fearing they'll be worried sick > (especially since losing my brother earlier this year), and > am thinking I'll wait 'til closer to the surgery date (11/6)to do so. I'm in the same boat with you on this one. My husband and two best friends know I'm planning this. My brother knows, but he advised me to " go for it and tell Mom later... " However, I've decided that I should tell my Mom and my in-laws. In part out of common courtesy, but also because it won't be a secret once I start losing. I can deal with the fact that they'll be worried about the surgery part, but the other stuff - attitudes about weight loss, thinking I'm being melodramatic, etc. - my usual knee-jerk reaction is to be defensive and I don't want to get into arguments. In other words, I'm just looking to avoid the whole conversation altogether...HAHA, but I know that isn't realistic. I'm going to wait until I have a surgery date (which I should have by the end of next week), but I'm going to have to figure it out soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2001 Report Share Posted October 14, 2001 , I am basically trying the old head in the sand approach. My husband is worried sick about this surgery, but is willing to support my decision. I have only told my sister and son so far. The youngest thinks I am nuts, as he feels I am not too fat, laughing...and my sister supports me with enthusiasm. As far as work goes, I have suffered from severe IBS for the past couple of years....so, I am just letting folks assume my surgery is for my stomach problems. I think that I don't feel strong enough to defend my position with anyone as I am a nervous wreck. Its taken me everything I know, and everything I feel to get to this point and all I want are supporters. Pretty much, the folks on this board as well as Dr. Rabkin's board have become my support system and extended family. If i should die in surgery, she says facetiously, any nay sayers can be " right " . If I become as successful as I feel I will be, the proof will be in the pudding, and I can share with folks then, how I got there! Theresa > > Anyway, I was wondering how some of you made it through > > not only the pre-op jitters and doubts, but how you handled > > friends and family memebers who told you you were crazy for > > contemplating the surgery. I've told just about all of my close > > friends and only have my parents yet to tell. I've been > > procrastinating telling them fearing they'll be worried sick > > (especially since losing my brother earlier this year), and > > am thinking I'll wait 'til closer to the surgery date (11/6)to do so. > > I'm in the same boat with you on this one. My husband and two > best friends know I'm planning this. My brother knows, but he > advised me to " go for it and tell Mom later... " However, I've > decided that I should tell my Mom and my in-laws. In part out of > common courtesy, but also because it won't be a secret once I > start losing. I can deal with the fact that they'll be worried about > the surgery part, but the other stuff - attitudes about weight loss, > thinking I'm being melodramatic, etc. - my usual knee-jerk > reaction is to be defensive and I don't want to get into arguments. > In other words, I'm just looking to avoid the whole conversation > altogether...HAHA, but I know that isn't realistic. I'm going to wait > until I have a surgery date (which I should have by the end of next > week), but I'm going to have to figure it out soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2001 Report Share Posted October 14, 2001 I, too, have had lots of issues around telling people prior to surgery, but with a Dec 20 surgery date, I'm having one heck of a time getting around it. My mother-in-law kept asking about planning something on the 22nd, my step-mom wanted to know what I was doing for Christmas (although I'm Jewish), my mom's talking about coming to visit, etc. I finally told my MIL a couple of weeks ago, and she handled it really well. I will tell my dad and step-mom (2 granola heads if ever a granola head walked the face of the planet) when I see them next weekend. I'm not looking forward to it, but I can't get around it. I'll tell my mom when I see her next...or earlier, if I have to. The other issue I've considered wrt telling family is that although I'm no longer a child, I'm still their daughter/daughter-in-law, and they would be REALLY hurt if I didn't tell them prior to surgery. I know my parents (all 3 of them) would feel that I didn't tell them b/c I felt I couldn't trust them, etc. I'm not defensive about my choice because I'm SO sure it's the ONLY choice, but it's still really hard to tell them what I know they don't want to hear. Sigh. Wish me luck, and I'll do the same for you! Good luck to those of you who are in this boat!! alyssa Re: telling family > > advised me to " go for it and tell Mom later... " However, I've > decided that I should tell my Mom and my in-laws. In part out of > common courtesy, but also because it won't be a secret once I > start losing. I can deal with the fact that they'll be worried about > the surgery part, but the other stuff - attitudes about weight loss, > thinking I'm being melodramatic, etc. - my usual knee-jerk > reaction is to be defensive and I don't want to get into arguments. > In other words, I'm just looking to avoid the whole conversation > altogether...HAHA, but I know that isn't realistic. I'm going to wait > until I have a surgery date (which I should have by the end of next > week), but I'm going to have to figure it out soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 15, 2001 Report Share Posted October 15, 2001 You ever want to passively avoid (i.e., ignore) something and then get the feeling that the gods aren't going to let you? Well...here I am debating to myself what and when to tell Mom and lo and behold I get a call today and it's " I'll be out there next week! " As Mom lives 3000 miles away, this is not to be taken lightly! We're going to meet up in Vegas for the weekend. It had been tenatively planned, but post-9/11 we weren't sure and as of last week I thought she'd cancelled it. If I'm going to tell her in person (as opposed to phone or letter), this is my only chance. Add to that the fact that I'm supposed to find out about my approval (or not) this week and all of a sudden life is really complicated. Here I thought I had all this time to plan it out and...HA!! Ranting off, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 16, 2001 Report Share Posted October 16, 2001 > You ever want to passively avoid (i.e., ignore) something and > then get the feeling that the gods aren't going to let you? > Well...here I am debating to myself what and when to tell Mom > and lo and behold I get a call today and it's " I'll be out there next > week! " As Mom lives 3000 miles away, this is not to be taken > lightly! We're going to meet up in Vegas for the weekend. It > had been tenatively planned, but post-9/11 we weren't sure and > as of last week I thought she'd cancelled it. If I'm going to tell her > in person (as opposed to phone or letter), this is my only chance. > Add to that the fact that I'm supposed to find out about my > approval (or not) this week and all of a sudden life is really > complicated. Here I thought I had all this time to plan it out > and...HA!! > > Ranting off, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.