biting!

February 15, 2005

I have 4 kids and Mia (SGA) is my 4th. None of them ever went

through the biting except Mia. I used to look at biters and think,

how awful, my kids would never do that! Ha-ha!! Any suggestions?

Mia always does it out of frustration towards her siblings of

friends when a toy is taken away, etc.

Also, the neighborhood kids (or complete stranger kids at the store,

etc.) are always picking up Mia and she hates it. She is 2 years

and 3 months and so small. They all call her " the baby " and try to

carry her around. I tell them to put her down but it seems to

happen often and with different children. What will happen when she

goes to school? Thanks for any suggestions!

nne (mom to Mia)

February 16, 2005

Hi nne,

My name is AmyMarie and my son Maxi is 6 years old and in

Kindergarten, all day. He weighs just twenty-nine pounds right now and

is about 41 inches. He actually weighs less now than he did at the

Magic Convention two years ago. Even so, people have always picked him

up. In school the little girls want to play living doll and when they

play house, they always want him to be the baby, he hates that. He is

very articulate now, and will tell people in no uncertain terms to put

him down, he is six years old. I am afraid it is a cross he will bear

for awhile but at the same time, I believe the more he takes the

responsibility to speak up for himself the better off he will be.

As for the biting, Maxi used to follow his sister around with his

mouth open if he really wanted to get to her, he would do this even

when he couldn't talk. Though usually sorely provoked, sometimes he

just bit people. His sister called him FANG. It was SO EMBARRESSING.

Neither of my older two did this either. The one thing we did

constantly was tell him that the behavior was unacceptable, but we

also redirected him to " use his words " to solve his problem, and since

he didn't talk at first we did this with sign language (he has had

some ear issues). I am afraid however, for all that we did, it took

getting bitten a few times himself by other kids with behavioral

issues in a special ed environment before he could build up the

empathy and stop. He doesn't bite anymore, the last time he did it he

was four and a half and the person was 50 pounds and 48 inches to his

37 inches and 29 pounds. The other boy was sitting on him and wouldn't

get off, so Maxi " nipped " him according to the teacher. To me, it

seemed like self defense, but because the correction was good

re-inforcement, we did the unacceptable-use your words routine.

Your not alone, and some kids just do this. Just know that!

Hugs,

AmyMarie Mom to the ever eating Maxi (4100 calories a day) who just

keeps on getting skinnier.

>

> I have 4 kids and Mia (SGA) is my 4th. None of them ever went

> through the biting except Mia. I used to look at biters and think,

> how awful, my kids would never do that! Ha-ha!! Any suggestions?

> Mia always does it out of frustration towards her siblings of

> friends when a toy is taken away, etc.

>

> Also, the neighborhood kids (or complete stranger kids at the store,

> etc.) are always picking up Mia and she hates it. She is 2 years

> and 3 months and so small. They all call her " the baby " and try to

> carry her around. I tell them to put her down but it seems to

> happen often and with different children. What will happen when she

> goes to school? Thanks for any suggestions!

> nne (mom to Mia)

February 16, 2005

I'm 39 years old, just shy 4'7 " and I STILL occasionally get picked up...or

people " threaten "

to...and then, in whatever tone they said it, I " threaten " to kick them. It

works <wink>.

When I was in Kindergarten, I LOVED being " the baby " when playing House or

whatever,

and I don't think I minded being picked up/carried. I eventually got up to the

point where

I didn't like being picked up. I don't recall ever having conversations with my

parents

about it, because I doubt that would recommend kicking <G>...but it worked for

me <G>.

Not that I recommend " kicking " to anyone...there are far better solutions, I'm

sure <G>.

-Sharon-

Just an RSS kid who grew up

February 16, 2005

Hi again nne,

I would always step in and tell the person, especially the

adults, " please put my daughter down " , and not always very nicely.

The more verbal I was about it the more Olivia picked up on it and

started to tell people " no " also. I guess we have it a bit better

for school since the kids are FORBIDDEN to pick her up because of

her bones. Some still try since she's so short and light, she's not

quite 20lbs yet but they do get spoken too. The best thing we did

was explain it to the kids at school and they seemed to understand

very rapidly especially along the lines of " she's small but the

same age as you and can do all the things you do too " .

Maybe try to coach her to say no-no or something when people try

to pick her up? she might still be a bit young for that but you

never know!

On a side note, be prepared for when she starts responding to

people... the other day at the grocery store a somewhat large lady

came up to Olivia and said " are you ever tiny " my sweet daughter

looked at her and said " are you ever fat " . She was not being mean

or rude, just making a judgement... and I was mortified!! Maybe the

woman will keep her comments to herself for a while though???

Leah, mom to , 10 next week and Olivia, 5 years, 19.5lbs,

34.5 " , RSS, OI, lots of meds

>

> I have 4 kids and Mia (SGA) is my 4th. None of them ever went

> through the biting except Mia. I used to look at biters and

think,

> how awful, my kids would never do that! Ha-ha!! Any

suggestions?

> Mia always does it out of frustration towards her siblings of

> friends when a toy is taken away, etc.

>

> Also, the neighborhood kids (or complete stranger kids at the

store,

> etc.) are always picking up Mia and she hates it. She is 2 years

> and 3 months and so small. They all call her " the baby " and try

to

> carry her around. I tell them to put her down but it seems to

> happen often and with different children. What will happen when

she

> goes to school? Thanks for any suggestions!

> nne (mom to Mia)

February 17, 2005

Hi nne,

My oldest daughter was a biter. She was also very small for her

age. She began biting at about 12 months old while in day care.

She kept biting as she got a little older because all her cousins

are boys and they are very big " corn fed, 100% boy " boys. It was

her defense. It was the only way she had to keep them from rough

housing with her. I remember her biting a couple kids at day care

and her cousins, but not strangers. I tried for YEARS to stop the

biting and NOTHING ever worked. I was in school at the time for

child development and I constantly asked for help from the

professors and all the health care professionals. I tried it all

and end the end she finally just grew out of it. Although to this

day when she feels like she is backed into a corner by one of her

still VERY BIG cousins, she will fight dirty to get away from them.

And of course I have no idea where she gets her sneakyness

from...smile...!!!

Hang in there, it will get better. Let people think what they want,

you know that you are doing the best to controll the biting that you

can do.

le, mom to:

Shye 10 (the biter..lol)Brock 8, and Coby (rss) & Carlee 2

February 17, 2005

> On a side note, be prepared for when she starts responding to

> people... the other day at the grocery store a somewhat large lady

> came up to Olivia and said " are you ever tiny " my sweet daughter

> looked at her and said " are you ever fat " . She was not being mean

> or rude, just making a judgement... and I was mortified!! Maybe the

> woman will keep her comments to herself for a while though???

Hehehehe.

It doesn't get any better when they get older, either. I remember when I was in

my VERY

early teens (or maybe just before, at 11/12), when I was the typical obnoxious

teenager

(why is it that when they're teenagers they're " obnoxious " but when they're

adults they're

just " sarcastic? " <wink>) and actually THIRD on line in school (because Ellen

Teicher and

Suzy Leibowitz hadn't gone through puberty yet and I had. Ellen eventually

become my

best friend. She also eventually become about 5'1 " ), some kid in a different

classroom than

mine came up to me, right out of the blue, and asked, " Why are you so short? " I

looked at

her up and down and said, " I don't know. Why are you so ugly? "

Got my butt kicked that day. First and only time.

I became something of a geeky dweeb after that...quiet, shy, not as much of a

wise@$$

when I knew I might not win...Momma didn't raise no dummy <G>.

-Sharon-

Just an RSS kid who grew up

Orlando FL

February 18, 2005

Hi nne!

I have 4 kids 28, 22, 16, and 6 (RSS) only the 22year old ever bit.When he was a

toddler everyone who came to visit me went around my house with their hands

behind their behinds saying " where is that baby? " He thought it was hysterically

funny to bite adults in the rear and run away laughing at a year or two old.

He's still a stinker and a hero too, joined the Army, was in combat in

Afghanistan and Iraq with the 101st, rescued his whole platoon, carried his

buddy and his buddy's leg to safety at one point. Now he's expecting his first

child to be born on Feb. 23rd. Having seen my daughter's 4 kids, I'm laughing

thinking what his will be like. Just a little perspective for you. They come as

they come. You are not responsible for everything. Just love them, and do your

best to guide them, but remember, they don't belong to you. And don't forget the

grandchildren are evidence of god's sense of humor. , the really old

mom. Re: biting!