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My husband was (is) this way.. he refused to discuss issues that were

a problem.. I would try to communicate however I could.. including

lashing out at him verbally.. he'd just clam right up when

'interferrance' arose. We are now getting divorced. Maybe some

counseling is called for here. I know it helped me.

>

> In a message dated 10/16/01 2:36:27 AM, duodenalswitch@y... writes:

>

> <<

> 2) Communicate, communicate, communicate.

>

> >>

>

> Amy: This is so true but I would also add: Communication is a TWO

WAY

> STREET. If your partner is NOT interested in communicating, then

all the

> communication in the world and love won't make things better!

>

> In fact, I've discovered that there are people out there (my husband

being

> one of them) who do NOT like to communicate -- it is extremely

uncomfortable

> for them and they would rather have things unsaid, unclear and swept

under

> the rug. At least then there's a modicum of propriety and normality

whereas

> communication involves being honest, listening, compromise and

adjustment.

> It is extremely dynamic (as relationship should be). Some people

are just

> too afraid to move ahead and would prefer to have things stay

stagnant and

> the same. :(

>

> So, communicate -- but if it isn't being reciprocated, then this is

a serious

> red flag!

>

> all the best,

>

> lap ds with gallbladder removal

> January 25, 2001

> Dr. Gagner/Mt. Sinai/NYC

>

> almost 9 months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

>

> preop: 307 lbs/bmi 45

> now: 213 lbs ????

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Sounds like a difficult situation Soozy...I wish you well as you move

forward. You'll meet someone better equipped to communicate, I'd

wager!

Cheers,

Amy

> >

> > In a message dated 10/16/01 2:36:27 AM, duodenalswitch@y...

writes:

> >

> > <<

> > 2) Communicate, communicate, communicate.

> >

> > >>

> >

> > Amy: This is so true but I would also add: Communication is a

TWO

> WAY

> > STREET. If your partner is NOT interested in communicating, then

> all the

> > communication in the world and love won't make things better!

> >

> > In fact, I've discovered that there are people out there (my

husband

> being

> > one of them) who do NOT like to communicate -- it is extremely

> uncomfortable

> > for them and they would rather have things unsaid, unclear and

swept

> under

> > the rug. At least then there's a modicum of propriety and

normality

> whereas

> > communication involves being honest, listening, compromise and

> adjustment.

> > It is extremely dynamic (as relationship should be). Some people

> are just

> > too afraid to move ahead and would prefer to have things stay

> stagnant and

> > the same. :(

> >

> > So, communicate -- but if it isn't being reciprocated, then this

is

> a serious

> > red flag!

> >

> > all the best,

> >

> > lap ds with gallbladder removal

> > January 25, 2001

> > Dr. Gagner/Mt. Sinai/NYC

> >

> > almost 9 months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

> >

> > preop: 307 lbs/bmi 45

> > now: 213 lbs ????

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Share on other sites

Thank you, Amy.. I hope so too.. :o)

> > >

> > > In a message dated 10/16/01 2:36:27 AM, duodenalswitch@y...

> writes:

> > >

> > > <<

> > > 2) Communicate, communicate, communicate.

> > >

> > > >>

> > >

> > > Amy: This is so true but I would also add: Communication is a

> TWO

> > WAY

> > > STREET. If your partner is NOT interested in communicating,

then

> > all the

> > > communication in the world and love won't make things better!

> > >

> > > In fact, I've discovered that there are people out there (my

> husband

> > being

> > > one of them) who do NOT like to communicate -- it is extremely

> > uncomfortable

> > > for them and they would rather have things unsaid, unclear and

> swept

> > under

> > > the rug. At least then there's a modicum of propriety and

> normality

> > whereas

> > > communication involves being honest, listening, compromise and

> > adjustment.

> > > It is extremely dynamic (as relationship should be). Some

people

> > are just

> > > too afraid to move ahead and would prefer to have things stay

> > stagnant and

> > > the same. :(

> > >

> > > So, communicate -- but if it isn't being reciprocated, then this

> is

> > a serious

> > > red flag!

> > >

> > > all the best,

> > >

> > > lap ds with gallbladder removal

> > > January 25, 2001

> > > Dr. Gagner/Mt. Sinai/NYC

> > >

> > > almost 9 months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

> > >

> > > preop: 307 lbs/bmi 45

> > > now: 213 lbs ????

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