Re: Strange experience tonight

[Guest guest]

Oh gosh yes!!!

I still walk in a room with people I don't know and feel like they

are all whispering...shhhh! look at how FAT that girl is! Or is

stores I feel like someone is gonna ask me when my baby is due....I

haven't had a baby in 12 years! I wonder when the brain will catch

up??? I still look in the mirror and see a fat girl. Even though my

collar bones stick out and my face is so thin. Many people don't

recognize me and I have to say, " Hi Heidi, remember me, Brynn Cruz "

and I see the minute they realize it is me, such surprise! Then the

questions start. I think eventually everyone will be used to the new

me and eventually I will come to accept that I am no longer

overweight!

Brynn 5'7 "

Surgery 9/12/00

Then 299.5

Now 160

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy,

First of all, let me just say that I just looked at your pictures, and you

look GREAT, MARVELOUS, FANTASTIC!! Your kids are cute as a button, too!!

Secondly, I think the self-image thing is something we all struggle with to

one degree or another. I personally think it is a long process training our

minds to see a " thin version " of ourselves, especially after not liking what

we have been seeing in the mirror all our lives. Just last night, before

going to bed, I was in the bathroom, and I turned sideways to look at myself

in the mirror. I was very surprised to see that my " shelf-butt " has pretty

much gone away!! I always called it a " shelf-butt " because I always thought

my butt stuck out so far that it looked like a shelf, and I don't doubt that

I could have actually set something on it and have it stay there!! LOL!!!

Anyway, my point is, then I go in to my dauughter's bedroom to get her

p.j.'s, and she has a full-length mirror in there. I look in THAT mirror,

and all I can do is criticize myself. Why are my legs still so fat, why

isn't my stomach flatter, etc. etc. I know logically that there is a drastic

difference, but yet in my mind's eye, I still see that big fat woman. So,

you are not alone, my friend. This is something that we need to work on. I

wish I could give you (and me) the magic formula to fix that, but

unfortunately, I don't have one.

Regarding feeling guilty about not telling your neighbors about your surgery

-- DON'T!! It's NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!! Besides, what you did tell them IS

the truth (even if it isn't ALL the truth!!) because you HAVE drastically cut

your food intake, and you ARE exercising!!! You don't owe a single one of

them an explanation. There. I said my piece. Hopping down off of the

soapbox now!! I hope that helped somewhat. You look GREAT, and you have

done a phenomenal job so far!!!

Hugs,

Pam in MD

BPD/DS - July 9, 2001

Dr. Vanguri

[Guest guest]

Glory BE!! I cant wait to have THAT feeling.. ) .. congratulations

on your ability to start gossip and stop traffic simply on the basis

of getting back to your life.. you should be proud.

Love,

Sue.

> I took my kids out on Halloween in our neighborhood. The people

here

> are very social, but I haven't really seen too many people since my

> surgery. I also didn't let anyone know what kind of surgery I had.

> Well tonight every house I went to the people kept going on and on

> about my weight loss and how good I look, etc. A few asked me if I

> were OK and almost everyone asked how I did it. All I said was that

> I drastically cut down on what I eat and I exercise. That is the

> truth and I really didn't want to explain about surgery. I feel

kind

> of guilty because everyone thinks I actually lost the weight by

> conventional dieting. One of my neighbors whose driveway is right

> next to ours said I have been an inspiration for her and she joined

> Weight Watchers. None of these people are heavy enough for surgery

> so I don't know if they would understand. I also don't want to be

> the topic of gossip, but I guess I already am.

>

> The most troubling part of all of this is that I still feel like I

> look the same as I did prior to surgery. My mind still hasn't

> accepted the major difference in the way I look. I saw my PCP 2

days

> ago for a sinus infection and he didn't even recognize me at first.

> I still feel so self contious about the way I look. I feel like

> people are staring at me when I eat because I shouldn't be eating

> this or that. You know those stares MO people get when they eat in

> public? I know in my brain that no one is thinking that about me

> now, but I still have that uneasy feeling. Does any of this make

> sense? Do others here have the same problem of thinking they are

> still MO when they have lost a lot of weight?

>

> Kathy M.

> DS 7/19/01

> pre-op 213

> today ~153

> 60 lbs. gone forever

[Guest guest]

At 7:12 AM +0000 11/1/01, bcmc.cruz@... wrote:

>... I still look in the mirror and see a fat girl. Even though my

>collar bones stick out and my face is so thin. ... I think

>eventually everyone will be used to the new

>me and eventually I will come to accept that I am no longer

>overweight!

Brynn,

I am terribly confused about my shape. I am almost 50% of my way to

goal weight, so I know that I am still " portly, " to say the least,

but my waist is about 10 " smaller than pre-op, so I am no longer

Willie the Whale, either. I can fit into arm chairs now, whereas

before I looked at them as a losing cause. So, I look in the mirror

a lot, especially sideways, to try to figure out just how I " fit "

into the human scheme of sizes. I imagine that the confusion will

last for quite a while.

I can recall back in the mid-'80's, when I lost 110 pounds with

OptiFast, that people who had not seen me for a while wondered if I

had cancer or AIDS, but were afraid to ask.

--Steve

--

Steve Goldstein, age 61

Lap BPD/DS on May 2, 2001

Dr. Elariny, INOVA Fairfax Hospital, Virginia

Starting (05/02/01) BMI = 51

BMI on 10/25 = 39 (-75 lb.) -- No longer M.O.

Losing more slowly than most, but enjoying renewed health and life in general.