Re: How to handle awkward social situations and SCD

[Guest guest]

Everyone at work thinks I have crazy food allergies because that's what I tell people when they ask me why I don't eat the pizza or whatever else they have for us. People understand, some people tell me it sucks like I don't know that already! haha. Honestly, it's all on you as to how you deal with the social aspect of things. Eventually you will either get comfortable NOT eating those foods and be able to bring your own food without feeling weird, or you won't. It's taken me an entire year just to start to get comfortable with it, but I still get mad/sad/embarrassed and whatever other emotion comes out when I have to sit and listen to people talk about cupcakes and ice cream ect... The way I see it, i'm eating for tomorrow and they are only eating for today. Plus, alot of older women want me to date their daughters or grand daughter because I can cook! So, it's not all that bad...-UC - 1+ yearsSCD - 11 months 100% strict and 4 months restricted diet.Colazol - 9 pills a day Prednisone 25mg entocort With vit E mixed inBack to intro/stage 1 for now.To: BTVC-SCD From: scd.lady@...Date: Mon, 10 May 2010 23:27:10 +0000Subject: How to handle awkward social situations and SCD

Hi, another question? How does everyone manage to handle social situations like parties, socials, etc; either at work or home?

Today, the office I work at was sending a farewell for an intern -- (impromptu). Everyone in the office ordered pizza, soda, and a chocolate dessert (all of which I cannot eat!!!) And they're all my former favorite foods.

I contributed money toward the event out of goodwill, and said my farewells to the intern before the event took place. I also made a hasty exit. The office I work at understands I have food allergies -- but, it still felt rude to make that exit.

It's only been a month since I started the program, and I didn't even want to get tempted with anything illegal. It takes all of my self control NOT to eat former favorites that I love. I know that I have to get used to seeing others eat foods I can't, but I'm wondering, how does everyone deal with situations like this one?

BTW, I did make myself an almond flour-based pizza when I got home, with zucchini and fresh basil and tomato-juice based marinara. It was filling and nice.

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[Guest guest]

I know that I have to get used to seeing others eat foods I can't, but I'm wondering, how does everyone deal with situations like this one?I haven't really had problems with this. I just tell people I have to be on a special diet (though food allergies would be easier, I should start doing that. I guess it just feels weird to me to lie, even if it's not a whole lie). Anyways, if it's a long social event where I get hungry, I just bring my own food, which always seems to be gross looking...like mushed avocado mixed with taco meat or a green smoothie. Not sure why my food always happens to look gross on those days, but hey, that's their problem =) Otherwise, I just don't eat anything, but I sure don't bring in money to help pay for pizza or candy or what not. I think you would be fine and not awkward at all just staying there, even if you don't eat. People understand food allergies, and wheat allergies are especially handy because wheat is in everything! Don't worry, you'll get more used to the idea of not eating the illegals with time, and then it won't take so much control to not eat them. Peace =)Alyssa 16 yo UC April 2008, dx Sept 2008SCD June 2009 (restarted)Azathioprine 75 mg 1x per dayPrednisone 30 mg 1x per day

[Guest guest]

> Hi, another question? How does everyone manage to handle social situations

like parties, socials, etc; either at work or home?

>

> Today, the office I work at was sending a farewell for an intern --

(impromptu). Everyone in the office ordered pizza, soda, and a chocolate dessert

(all of which I cannot eat!!!) And they're all my former favorite foods.

>

> I contributed money toward the event out of goodwill, and said my farewells to

the intern before the event took place. I also made a hasty exit. The office I

work at understands I have food allergies -- but, it still felt rude to make

that exit.

>

> It's only been a month since I started the program, and I didn't even want to

get tempted with anything illegal. It takes all of my self control NOT to eat

former favorites that I love. I know that I have to get used to seeing others

eat foods I can't, but I'm wondering, how does everyone deal with situations

like this one?

Once you kill off a bunch of bugs and they're not tinging the neural

pathways in your brain and screaming feed me pizza and chocolate

cake, you don't crave them as much, if at all - and then it's not at all hard.

And the food on SCD is very good - not the beginner stuff necessarily,

but we certainly are not deprived, just more selected in what we can

eat. You just have to learn to make different delicious stuff. Have a steak

with garlic and mustard sauce or fish with hollandaise or whatever you

want that satisfies you. If you eat tasty food you won't feel deprived

and feel like you need to run out of there.

Your taste buds will re-emerge with new appreciations - things begin

to taste differently - more clearly.

Also, eventually you will learn to associate bad reactions with specific

foods. If it takes you a week or two or three or a month or more to get

over something, you learn not to want it.

BTW, what is your name?

Mara

[Guest guest]

Trays of raw vegetables with dip is a tough one also.  How do you turn that down gracefully? 

 

Even cooking out with the folks is difficult--they think I'm being difficult. So Sunday night I baked catfish and zucchini and my  brother came stood over it asking what I was eating--over and over.  So I react and he says, well are you ashamed of it?  grrrr.  His new favorite phrase is " You are weird " .  Who could turn down steak marinated in certain yummy ingredients?  But last time the plain salt and pepper, oil yellow squash that was grilled made me so nauseas and sick (I'm a yellows squash fiend btw).  It was no problem to say no to any of it.

 

So in an office setting, I won't care. I've been pretty much tormented by my s'more eating older brother.  I'll just mentally lump them in with him.  My old boss (pre-cd) used to insist I order a salad when we all ate out.  I just don't get some people's nerve.  And I was average weight, etc.--it's just 'healthy'.

 

Just venting on the social.  These same folks will eat a whole box of krispy kremes and starbucks btw.

 

Debbie 41 cd

 

 

 

The people I work with now didn't know me when I was sick. They all understand I chose to control my Crohn's with diet instead of medicine. When we have things like this, I also contribute but eat my own food. I will say around Christmas we had pizza for a staff lunch and when I walked in the kitchen, I smelled it and had to run to the bathroom and cry. It was also my favorite food before SCD. It's really hard on staff lunch days, but I do have 2 years of SCD behind me to help me cope with it. I had been SCD 9 months when I started this job so I have worked into this. The people here just think I'm weird and I eat weird food but they all come in the kitchen asking what the wonderful smells are. <patting myself on the back> It is almost always my homemade SCD food. After seeing me eat this way for so long, some people have realized how non restrictive the diet is and I just have to be careful and really watch what I eat.

They had to understand that you weren't being rude. It would be so lovely if people could just walk for one day in our shoes. There would never be any question about what SCD does for us. It's hard at first. Super really really hard but I just kept in mind that the food was going to hurt me if I ate it.

Misty KimbleCD - no medsSCD - 2 + years >> Hi, another question? How does everyone manage to handle social situations like parties, socials, etc; either at work or home?

[Guest guest]

Thank you for posting this question. I'm sorry you're going through these

feelings but I'll admit that I'm enjoying the company since I'm 3 weeks now on

SCD. (I'm a former foodie, not that it makes much of a difference, but I've

seldom met a food that I don't like. A lot.) I have been *dreaming* about foods

that I can't eat but it's getting better. I haven't had any die-off symptoms in

the last few days, but I've figured out that if I feel something coming on, I

can eat 1/2 a ripe banana and it eases the symptoms, which must mean I'm getting

better, right? :-) My boss knows more about this problem than I'd like for him

to, but I had to explain my sketchiness during flares. He's very supportive, as

are my co-workers. I work at a university in the sciences building, so they see

me as a really great research project, which helps a lot.

Anyway, I finally - just this morning prompted by the food dreams - sat down

with a pen and paper and wrote down the foods I really really *REALLY* miss the

most. And it was only 4 things. Seriously, it could all fit on a one of those

small post-it notes. And the list didn't contain anything special, which made me

feel better (mentally). Two weeks ago, the list would have been as long as my

arm. I discovered that I'm mourning the social events around food as much as the

food itself, although in the last year plus, I haven't been able to go much at

all because of chronic D. I should add that I have a long history of bulimia

that I've had successfully under control for a few years, and last year, an

event triggered some binge-like behavior. So I started counseling here at the

university (it's free and my counselor is really great), so I was dealing with

emotional issues around food again, which of course, has nothing to do with the

food. Would you shoot me if I said I'm almost grateful for the bowel problems?

It has forced me to get to the rock bottom of my addiction. I mean, it's really

hard to binge on SCD legal foods, heh heh... and I've cried a river of tears

over... how to word this... I've cried over realizing that I can't keep the

bingeing behavior in my back pocket for when I need to eat my feelings. I

haven't binged in a long time, but I knew I COULD if I chose to, which was a

crazy comfort for me. All my old fave binge foods are illegal.

I've been reading the boards, doing what the veterans say helped them through

the tough times, and waiting for the day that I replace my old favorites with

new favorites, and that includes social activities, too.

Long response... sorry. Best to you and thanks to all who freely share what

helps them.

Gwen

SCD since 4/28/10

>

> Hi, another question? How does everyone manage to handle social situations

like parties, socials, etc; either at work or home?

>

> Today, the office I work at was sending a farewell for an intern --

(impromptu). Everyone in the office ordered pizza, soda, and a chocolate dessert

(all of which I cannot eat!!!) And they're all my former favorite foods.

>

> I contributed money toward the event out of goodwill, and said my farewells to

the intern before the event took place. I also made a hasty exit. The office I

work at understands I have food allergies -- but, it still felt rude to make

that exit.

>

> It's only been a month since I started the program, and I didn't even want to

get tempted with anything illegal. It takes all of my self control NOT to eat

former favorites that I love. I know that I have to get used to seeing others

eat foods I can't, but I'm wondering, how does everyone deal with situations

like this one?

>

> BTW, I did make myself an almond flour-based pizza when I got home, with

zucchini and fresh basil and tomato-juice based marinara. It was filling and

nice.

>

[Guest guest]

"The people here just think I'm weird and I eat weird food but they all come in the kitchen asking what the wonderful smells are"same here -UC - 1+ yearsSCD - 11 months 100% strict and 4 months restricted diet.Colazol - 9 pills a day Prednisone 25mg entocort With vit E mixed inBack to intro/stage 1 for now.To: BTVC-SCD From: miztydawn@...Date: Tue, 11 May 2010 13:27:51 +0000Subject: Re: How to handle awkward social situations and SCD

The people I work with now didn't know me when I was sick. They all understand I chose to control my Crohn's with diet instead of medicine. When we have things like this, I also contribute but eat my own food. I will say around Christmas we had pizza for a staff lunch and when I walked in the kitchen, I smelled it and had to run to the bathroom and cry. It was also my favorite food before SCD. It's really hard on staff lunch days, but I do have 2 years of SCD behind me to help me cope with it. I had been SCD 9 months when I started this job so I have worked into this. The people here just think I'm weird and I eat weird food but they all come in the kitchen asking what the wonderful smells are. <patting myself on the back> It is almost always my homemade SCD food. After seeing me eat this way for so long, some people have realized how non restrictive the diet is and I just have to be careful and really watch what I eat.

They had to understand that you weren't being rude. It would be so lovely if people could just walk for one day in our shoes. There would never be any question about what SCD does for us.

It's hard at first. Super really really hard but I just kept in mind that the food was going to hurt me if I ate it.

Misty Kimble

CD - no meds

SCD - 2 + years

>

> Hi, another question? How does everyone manage to handle social situations like parties, socials, etc; either at work or home?

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[Guest guest]

Gwen,

I work at a college setting too, sully (although I write for their University

Relations Department).

At the college I work at, there are events that I cover that revolve around

food. It seems like every event is followed by a big spread of delicious foods

-- all of which I can't touch! Not even the fruit, because it's not cooked. In

the past, I would have just loaded up my plate and eaten as much as possible.

Now, it takes all of my self control not to eat anything.

When I first started this job, I gained more than 50 lbs over three years until

I ballooned to almost 200 lbs. I tend to " eat " my feelings too -- gobbling down

fast food like it was going out of style. Actually, the SCD has given me the

time to re-evaluate my relationship with food too.

Gwen, one book might be helpful -- I know it was for me -- " When Food is Love, "

which I just read two days ago by Geneen Roth. I never considered myself to be

the classic compulsive eater, but I did eat out of emotion, or to " treat " myself

when I had a bad day, or to stuff down other feelings.

So far, I've lost 21 lbs on SCD. I think the word " diet " is an unfortunate part

of the SCD's name. People always associate it with weight loss. When people ask

me what to do to lose weight -- I tell them about SCD, and they think it's some

golden ticket to losing weight. I had a coworker even purchase the same recipe

book I had bought -- not realizing that SCD requires fanatical adherence.

When I was on all those " diets " -- Weight Watchers, Craig, etc; I lost

some weight -- but I'd always regain what I lost and more -- and still be sick

on top of it! Now that I'm not focusing on the " weight " -- and focusing on

getting my stomach healthy, quiet and peaceful -- it's really helping more.

You're right in a way, that the " bowel " problems are a gift in a way. Before, I

put myself last before SCD. I blamed myself, hated my body for having bowel

issues -- and I felt ashamed of myself. When I was disappointed, hurt, angry or

lonely, I ate food (usually crap I disguised as " treating myself " as a way of

covering up my issues.

I gave myself the crap food, others, I cooked feasts and delicious eats.

Now, I'm listening to my body more, and caring for it more. -- something I

never did pre-SCD.

I can't say I've totally made peace with myself, but I'm starting too come to a

truce.

P.S. Gwen -- I'm learning to make my favorite binge foods (save for chocolate

(cry! -- no replacing that) in SCD-ways. The coworkers who binged on that pizza

and chocolate stuff ended up getting sick on the food.

[Guest guest]

SCD.Lady, I, too, wish the word " diet " wasn't such a part of the SCD plan. That

word has developed a very negative meaning for me and everyone assumes it's

about weight loss.

Your weight loss progress is awesome! (Even more awesome is that you're learning

to be kind to you as much as you are kind to others. I think the inability to do

this is the foundation of emotional eating.)

I realize that most people with this need to gain. I do not. I need to lose

another 15 pounds. I've been slowly losing over the last year and I haven't been

dieting. I was vegan along the way so going back to meat was hard at first.

Losing without dieting is a small miracle for me. I hope SCD will help me get to

a healthy weight, but it's certainly secondary to getting out of the bathroom

prison and escaping the pain associated with bowel problems. What a new

perspective.

I love Geneen Roth's " When Food is Love. " Also, " Breaking Free... " and " Feeding

the Hungry Heart. " But " When Food is Love " is the one the resonated with me the

most. I think I'll dig it out of my collection and re-read it. Thanks for the

reminder.

Thanks! Gwen

SCD 4/28/10

>

> Gwen,

> I work at a college setting too, sully (although I write for their University

Relations Department).

>

> At the college I work at, there are events that I cover that revolve around

food. It seems like every event is followed by a big spread of delicious foods

-- all of which I can't touch! Not even the fruit, because it's not cooked. In

the past, I would have just loaded up my plate and eaten as much as possible.

Now, it takes all of my self control not to eat anything.

>

> When I first started this job, I gained more than 50 lbs over three years

until I ballooned to almost 200 lbs. I tend to " eat " my feelings too -- gobbling

down fast food like it was going out of style. Actually, the SCD has given me

the time to re-evaluate my relationship with food too.

>

> Gwen, one book might be helpful -- I know it was for me -- " When Food is

Love, " which I just read two days ago by Geneen Roth. I never considered myself

to be the classic compulsive eater, but I did eat out of emotion, or to " treat "

myself when I had a bad day, or to stuff down other feelings.

>

> So far, I've lost 21 lbs on SCD. I think the word " diet " is an unfortunate

part of the SCD's name. People always associate it with weight loss. When people

ask me what to do to lose weight -- I tell them about SCD, and they think it's

some golden ticket to losing weight. I had a coworker even purchase the same

recipe book I had bought -- not realizing that SCD requires fanatical adherence.

>

> When I was on all those " diets " -- Weight Watchers, Craig, etc; I lost

some weight -- but I'd always regain what I lost and more -- and still be sick

on top of it! Now that I'm not focusing on the " weight " -- and focusing on

getting my stomach healthy, quiet and peaceful -- it's really helping more.

>

> You're right in a way, that the " bowel " problems are a gift in a way. Before,

I put myself last before SCD. I blamed myself, hated my body for having bowel

issues -- and I felt ashamed of myself. When I was disappointed, hurt, angry or

lonely, I ate food (usually crap I disguised as " treating myself " as a way of

covering up my issues.

>

> I gave myself the crap food, others, I cooked feasts and delicious eats.

>

> Now, I'm listening to my body more, and caring for it more. -- something I

never did pre-SCD.

>

> I can't say I've totally made peace with myself, but I'm starting too come to

a truce.

>

> P.S. Gwen -- I'm learning to make my favorite binge foods (save for chocolate

(cry! -- no replacing that) in SCD-ways. The coworkers who binged on that pizza

and chocolate stuff ended up getting sick on the food.

>

[Guest guest]

wrote: " Plus, alot of older women want me to date their daughters or

grand daughter because I can cook! So, it's not all that bad... "

--that was really funny!!!!! Let's hear it for looking on the positive

side of things!

While I don't exactly have this situation b/c my dd is on SCD, I just say that

she is on a special diet for Crohn's disease and leave it at that. I do think

that being on SCD for IBD is probably easier than being on for just about any

other issue. No matter what most of medical science says, people really seem to

understand that, if you have bowel problems, you need to watch what you eat!

Ellen

12.5 y/o dd scd for 4 years for Crohn's

med-free for 1.5 years