Re: roller coaster emotions-sorry very long

[Guest guest]

This is the only group of people I can talk to about this who might

understand. I have my surgery date scheduled for Dec. 18th and have

requested time off work (no response yet on that from my boss). Well, over

the weekend, I started freaking out about " getting cut " (something I have

never had done), about how am I going to feel when I wake up and know my

insides are all rearranged, about how am I going to adjust to having to eat

teeny tiny meals - am I going to like this? Is it worth it? Will I freak

even more after its done? etc. etc. etc.

Well, I told myself to *shut up brain* and just go forward day by day and GO

and show up for surgery.

But today I got a real opener to how I feel about this........I went to my

new PCP about a month ago and the insurance company denied payment. I called

them to see why, thinking it was because I might have a deductible. They

told me it was due to " pre-existing condition " and then due to the code the

Dr. billed under " obesity " which is not covered. Now, I never went to him

for " obesity " - it was my first appt. with him, during which I asked for a

referral - and his receptionist refused to do one, stating I didn't need one

with my insurance. He took my blood pressure, stated it was a little high,

looked over my medical history, gave me a prescription for wellbutrin to help

quit smoking, etc. So, the appt was not for " obesity " . I called him and

asked that he change it, and his insurance billing person said he didn't want

to change it..........well, then it occured to me that they might pull the

same thing after I have surgery - say this is a pre-existing condition and

" obesity " is not covered. I totally freaked out then and actually started

crying and got so depressed, I didn't know how I was going to go on if I had

to change all my plans and wait one whole year more to get all this done.

Well, I decided to call the ins. company and remind them that pre-existing

according to my plan is " anything I was treated for by a medical Dr. within

the 6 mos prior to enrolling " . I was not treated for " obesity " during the

previous 6 mos. So they said that denial was over-ruled, but the " obesity "

thing was still not paid for by my policy (I asked if MO was and they said

no) - I then asked if the letter I got approving surgery would be over-ruled

when the surgery was done, and the woman I talked with said " no, if you got

approval, then that means the medical review board reviewed it and you have

approval " and if you have your PCP write the *reasons* for surgery as your

claim for his appt, they will pay (such as high blood pressure, high

cholesterol, etc.) Called him again and he refused to do that, but did say

he would change it to " screening appt. " - called ins and they will pay for

that.

My point in this long winded post is, here I go from being scared *hitless

about the surgery, but when I think it might not happen, I go to the depths

of despair. Did anyone else go thru these doubts/fears before their surgery?

I'm so GLAD they *will* pay for the surgery and I don't have to go hat in

hand to my boss and say " oh, sorry, I don't need the time off anyway " and

then have to explain why - I'm so glad I have the opportunity to have this

surgery which will make my life happier and prevent health

problems........but then I get really scared when I think about it all, and I

know I will be scared when I am going into OR until I wake up and once I am

undrugged, will probably question myself again. I know I have to go through

at least 3 - 4 weeks of hell after surgery and that scares me, too. Do I

have the " right stuff " to do this as well as all your other post-ops? I hope

so.

Carole

[Guest guest]

Carole,

All I can tell you is that I think all of these emotions are pretty normal.

I had bought of thinking I must be " crazy " to do this quite a bit. I even

had boughts of thinking I was crazy long after surgery when I was actually

very happy with the result. I would get mini panic attacks over each pang

that it was a blockage or something (nothing that made any sense). I finally

had a long talk with myself (o.k so maybe I am crazy because I do this a

lot). I decided I needed to go on and I have always been good at dealing

with things as they come and whatever will be, will be. If in moments of

perfect logic, you decide (or had decided) surgery is for you cling to those

moments of logic when your emotions run high. Make your decision (which I

think you have already made) and tell yourself not to look back. This is

unless you would get any logical data to change the decision. However, I

don't think this is what you are talking about. I think it is emotion that

is making you ride the roller coaster.

And yes, the first month SUCKS! Decide right now that you are going to do

your best to suffer well. But after that month you will be able to markedly

see improvements that progress to the point where you will think it is the

best thing you ever did for yourself.

Dawn--South Suburban Chicago area

Dr. Hess, Bowling Green, OH

BPD/DS

4/27/00

www.duodenalswitch.com

267 to 165 5' 4 "

size 22 to size 10

have made size goal

no more high blood pressure, sore feet, or dieting

[Guest guest]

Kathy..

Well first off, November 19th is my birthday so you're going to have a great

day! IT's just that simple. Being a pre-op, but having gone through a few

surgeries already (both knees, elbow, hysterectomy, etc.) I can honeslty say

everything will come out ok.... (no pun intended). Just hand it over to

whomever you believe in (for me that would be Christ) and take a deep breath,

drink a warm drink of your choice and relax. Everything will come out Just

fine... afterall... it's my BIRTHDAY!!! WOO HOO SCORPIOS!

.. ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Melisa -:¦:-

-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy,

Nope I don't have a date... I don't even have a doc yet. I want to see Dr.

Keshishian in Delano, it's not too far from me (an hours drive) and all I've

heard is rave reviews from his patients!

I'm just happy to be learning so much from this group... and I wish everyone

the best! One day I'll be sitting there waiting for my day too... right now

I'm having fun just rooting everyone on!!

.. ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Melisa -:¦:-

-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

[Guest guest]

Carole,

I am totally going nuts as the day come near (Nov. 19th). I am

wildly elated for a few hours/minutes, pwith vague but blissful

pictures of good health and less pain, LOL, then I'm in dispair and

obsessing about every thing from keeping my gall bladder (not) to

whether I'll feel HAPPY in my robe as I walk in the hospital.......

totally crazy.

Every bump in the road re: insurance/timing of appointments etc.,that

I could handle normally, (and if they occurred in isolation and not

all together), seem totally disasterous and over my head.

I have to grit my teeth and remember that the good Lord is in charge

just as much when I FEEL His peace, as when I am totally disoriented.

frightened out of my wits and have to walk blind!!!

Kathy sen

BMI 58, 352.5 lbs

Surgery scheduled Nov 19th

Dr. Welker

" The only thing different in sinners and saints.... is one is

forgiven and the other one ain't! "

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy,

I have panic and anxiety disorder so I know what you

mean about being nervous.

I've had 7 or 8 surgeries in my life and the best way

I've found to get through it is to just do it. Don't

think " what if... " just do your packing, get there,

check in, etc. Once you're there, there's usually

alot going on what with checking in, talking to

nurses, doctors, etc that before you know it, it's

happening! In case there is some down-time, waiting to

go into surgery, then do a mantra or something... what

I would say is " I'm not really here... this isn't

happening " and so on... I would focus on winning the

lotto, meeting Penn (I know where he lives so I

would imagine 'accidentally' running into him near his

house, etc), being on the Enterprise in Star Trek,

ANYTHING to keep calm. Of course, pre-meds help too!

Good luck,

dee

--- Melisa111968@... wrote:

> Kathy..

>

> Well first off, November 19th is my birthday so

> you're going to have a great

> day! IT's just that simple. Being a pre-op, but

> having gone through a few

> surgeries already (both knees, elbow, hysterectomy,

> etc.) I can honeslty say

> everything will come out ok.... (no pun intended).

> Just hand it over to

> whomever you believe in (for me that would be

> Christ) and take a deep breath,

> drink a warm drink of your choice and relax.

> Everything will come out Just

> fine... afterall... it's my BIRTHDAY!!! WOO HOO

> SCORPIOS!

>

> . ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

> ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

> ((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Melisa -:¦:-

> -:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Carole, I'm right there with you...in fact, my surgery date is 2 days after

yours. I am nervous, but you know what? If we WEREN'T nervous about such a

drastic step, THEN I'd worry that we were nuts! Shit, woman, we're

rearranging our intestines and slicing off a chunk of our stomachs. This

isn't minor stuff here. It's the very fact that we ARE aware, that we ARE

thinking, feeling people that we get nervous. We're being *realistic*.

It's the people who rush into things with starry eyes and dreams of size 4s

that I worry about. You and me? We're doing just fine. Yeah, we're a

little jittery, and yeah, I'm going to be asking for something to calm me

down before they roll me down the hall to operate, and yeah, I'm sure I'll

be teary-eyed. However, I also know that this is the smartest thing I could

ever do, and to NOT do it would be the foolish thing because all I have

facing me without surgery is more dieting, more weight gain, more

depression, more co-morbids...who the hell needs that?

Hang in there, Carole...we'll make it to the other side together.

~alyssa

surgery date: 12/20/01

surgeon: dr. keshishian

Re: roller coaster emotions-sorry very long

> This is the only group of people I can talk to about this who might

> understand. I have my surgery date scheduled for Dec. 18th and have

> requested time off work (no response yet on that from my boss). Well,

over

> the weekend, I started freaking out about " getting cut " (something I have

> never had done), about how am I going to feel when I wake up and know my

> insides are all rearranged, about how am I going to adjust to having to

eat

> teeny tiny meals - am I going to like this? Is it worth it? Will I freak

> even more after its done? etc. etc. etc.

> Well, I told myself to *shut up brain* and just go forward day by day and

GO

> and show up for surgery.

[Guest guest]

> Kathy..

>

> Well first off, November 19th is my birthday so you're going to

have a great

> day! IT's just that simple.

<<<<<<I accept the blessing and thank you!!!!

Being a pre-op, but having gone through a few

> surgeries already (both knees, elbow, hysterectomy, etc.) I can

honeslty say

> everything will come out ok.... (no pun intended).

<<<<<<I confess I'm a surgery novice, except for tonsilectomy at age

five.

Just hand it over to

> whomever you believe in (for me that would be Christ)

<<<<<<Amen, Sis!!!!

and take a deep breath,

> drink a warm drink of your choice and relax. Everything will come

out Just

> fine... afterall... it's my BIRTHDAY!!! WOO HOO SCORPIOS!

>

> . ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

> ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

> ((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Melisa -:¦:-

> -:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

<<<<<<<<Thank you soooo much and Blessings to you too!!!, Do you have

a date yet?

{{{hugs}}}

Kathy sen

BMI 58, 352.5 lbs

Surgery scheduled Nov 19th

Dr. Welker

" The only thing different in sinners and saints.... is one is

forgiven and the other one ain't! "

Vipperman, Rudd and Worley

[Guest guest]

Dee,

Thanks for the comforting words and sage advice! I really appreciate

it since you are a surgical veteran. I have panic/anxiety and rapid

cycling mild bipolar....Nuff said!LOL

My favorite mantra is the Kyrie eleison...Lord have mercy upon us...

I will be using it a lot this week!!!

{{{{{Thankful hugs}}}}}

Kathy sen

BMI 58, 352.5 lbs

Surgery scheduled Nov 19th

Dr. Welker

" The only thing different in sinners and saints.... is one is

forgiven and the other one ain't! "

Vipperman, Rudd and Worley

> Hi Kathy,

>

> I have panic and anxiety disorder so I know what you

> mean about being nervous.

>

> I've had 7 or 8 surgeries in my life and the best way

> I've found to get through it is to just do it. Don't

> think " what if... " just do your packing, get there,

> check in, etc. Once you're there, there's usually

> alot going on what with checking in, talking to

> nurses, doctors, etc that before you know it, it's

> happening! In case there is some down-time, waiting to

> go into surgery, then do a mantra or something... what

> I would say is " I'm not really here... this isn't

> happening " and so on... I would focus on winning the

> lotto, meeting Penn (I know where he lives so I

> would imagine 'accidentally' running into him near his

> house, etc), being on the Enterprise in Star Trek,

> ANYTHING to keep calm. Of course, pre-meds help too!

>

> Good luck,

> dee

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/12/01 11:55:15 PM Eastern Standard Time,

duodenalswitch writes:

<< Carole, I'm right there with you...in fact, my surgery date is 2 days after

yours. I am nervous, but you know what? If we WEREN'T nervous about such a

drastic step, THEN I'd worry that we were nuts! Shit, woman, we're

rearranging our intestines and slicing off a chunk of our stomachs. This

isn't minor stuff here. It's the very fact that we ARE aware, that we ARE

thinking, feeling people that we get nervous. We're being *realistic*.

It's the people who rush into things with starry eyes and dreams of size 4s

that I worry about. You and me? We're doing just fine. >>

Thanks, Alyssa! I noticed that you are 2 days after me, so we are almost

switch sisters. I know I want this, and probably even more than I thought I

did. I'm glad I am not the only one who has the jitters, and now that you

put it the way you did, I know now that those jitters are normal. After all,

we are probably so much better educated than a lot of people about the

surgery we are going to have, just because of *this* list and the generosity

of all the post-ops on this list who are willing to share their experiences,

good, bad, and ugly. I know I think of everyone who went before me and how

happy they are and that helps me when I freak out! I do not know if I would

have the courage to go through with it without those who have made it before

me giving me their feedback. Can you imagine what it must have been like for

the first patient to have the BPD/DS way back when Dr. Hess started doing it?

I know there is a woman who had it done by him 14 yrs ago that goes to his

informational meetings. I haven't met her or gone to meetings, but I admire

her courage way back then. Btw, everyone who has met her says she is doing

great, 14 yrs later.

Thanks again, Alyssa, Carole

[Guest guest]

Kyrie Eleison????

I thought that there were no other Eastern (Greek) Orthodox on the

list? Wuz up?

> > Hi Kathy,

> >

> > I have panic and anxiety disorder so I know what you

> > mean about being nervous.

> >

> > I've had 7 or 8 surgeries in my life and the best way

> > I've found to get through it is to just do it. Don't

> > think " what if... " just do your packing, get there,

> > check in, etc. Once you're there, there's usually

> > alot going on what with checking in, talking to

> > nurses, doctors, etc that before you know it, it's

> > happening! In case there is some down-time, waiting to

> > go into surgery, then do a mantra or something... what

> > I would say is " I'm not really here... this isn't

> > happening " and so on... I would focus on winning the

> > lotto, meeting Penn (I know where he lives so I

> > would imagine 'accidentally' running into him near his

> > house, etc), being on the Enterprise in Star Trek,

> > ANYTHING to keep calm. Of course, pre-meds help too!

> >

> > Good luck,

> > dee

> >

[Guest guest]

CAROLE,

ONLY TIME FOR A QUICK NOTE TO YOU.

What you are going through, the gamut of emotions, is not at all

unusual. Keep writing, and folks will answer to hold your hand, as

needed, as you approach your surgery and then in recovery.

The 4-6 weeks after surgery is NOT pure Hell. It has its ups and

downs. It is full of discomfit, but not sheer Hell, except in a few

rare cases. Most of us have had one or another discomfort to contend

with: diarrhea, gas, pain in the side, temporary loss of sensation in

one leg, or pain in one leg (have them put a pillow under each knee

crease in the OR, and that should minimize this possible

complication), etc. But, these are temporary, and they are

uncomfortable inconveniences and not the end of the world as we know

it. It may seem frightening now, and may seem to be endless

discomfort while (and IF--many folks have no problems at all!) you go

through it. But, for the vast majority of us, it all sort of wraps

up by week 6.

Next: get rid of the & ^%@*! PCP. If the S.O.B. is not understanding

and cooperative now, take your business elsewhere.

Best,

Steve

--

Steve Goldstein, age 61

Lap BPD/DS on May 2, 2001

Dr. Elariny, INOVA Fairfax Hospital, Virginia

Starting (05/02/01) BMI = 51

BMI on 11/13 = 39 (-80 lb.) -- No longer M.O

Losing more slowly than most, but enjoying renewed health and life in general.

[Guest guest]

Add me to the list )

Bye,

Donna

>

>Kyrie Eleison????

>

>I thought that there were no other Eastern (Greek) Orthodox on the

>list? Wuz up?

>

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

[Guest guest]

I use to sing the Kyrie Eleison. Plain old Roman Catholic here! Oh,

but I went to school in the era that we were forced to take Latin.

They did away with that requirement after my first semester, along

with the Latin Mass. Thank goodness cuz 2 years of Latin would have

scrambled my brain!

Theresa

> > > Hi Kathy,

> > >

> > > I have panic and anxiety disorder so I know what you

> > > mean about being nervous.

> > >

> > > I've had 7 or 8 surgeries in my life and the best way

> > > I've found to get through it is to just do it. Don't

> > > think " what if... " just do your packing, get there,

> > > check in, etc. Once you're there, there's usually

> > > alot going on what with checking in, talking to

> > > nurses, doctors, etc that before you know it, it's

> > > happening! In case there is some down-time, waiting to

> > > go into surgery, then do a mantra or something... what

> > > I would say is " I'm not really here... this isn't

> > > happening " and so on... I would focus on winning the

> > > lotto, meeting Penn (I know where he lives so I

> > > would imagine 'accidentally' running into him near his

> > > house, etc), being on the Enterprise in Star Trek,

> > > ANYTHING to keep calm. Of course, pre-meds help too!

> > >

> > > Good luck,

> > > dee

> > >

[Guest guest]

Yeah, .

Three years of Latin scrambled mine! Maybe that's what's wrong with

me! I'm sure it took a couple years off my life, too.

We WILL compare notes after surgery! And hey--we have another

(?) going under on the 19th!

> > > > Hi Kathy,

> > > >

> > > > I have panic and anxiety disorder so I know what you

> > > > mean about being nervous.

> > > >

> > > > I've had 7 or 8 surgeries in my life and the best way

> > > > I've found to get through it is to just do it. Don't

> > > > think " what if... " just do your packing, get there,

> > > > check in, etc. Once you're there, there's usually

> > > > alot going on what with checking in, talking to

> > > > nurses, doctors, etc that before you know it, it's

> > > > happening! In case there is some down-time, waiting to

> > > > go into surgery, then do a mantra or something... what

> > > > I would say is " I'm not really here... this isn't

> > > > happening " and so on... I would focus on winning the

> > > > lotto, meeting Penn (I know where he lives so I

> > > > would imagine 'accidentally' running into him near his

> > > > house, etc), being on the Enterprise in Star Trek,

> > > > ANYTHING to keep calm. Of course, pre-meds help too!

> > > >

> > > > Good luck,

> > > > dee

> > > >

[Guest guest]

>>

>>Kyrie Eleison????

>>

>>I thought that there were no other Eastern (Greek) Orthodox on the

>>list? Wuz up?

I am not Orthodox Greek but I know Kyrie Eleison, not only the version GLAD

does but I have had the opportunity to sing in Latin many times in my life.

I love it.

i