RE: Re: Off topic: New neighborhood

[Guest guest]

Wow . This is truly sad from every aspect.

I can only say neighbors can be a blessing or a curse.

Working with them is much better than working against them.

I am sure there was nothing more you could do to educate these people.

How frustrating...

Like you don't have enough to be worried about!

Hugs

a Jeffs mom

Re: Off topic: New neighborhood

I can't share any experience about moving but I can about the abuse

issue. Before my son was diagnosed he cried alot. It didn't matter

what we would do for him - he just cried. One night our neighbor

knocked on the door asking me if I ever picked my child up or fed

him. I told her he just cries alot and I am sorry the noise bothered

her. She screamed in front of my older kids that I am abusing my

kids and she is going to make sure they are all taken away from me.

Needless to say my older 2 kids were scared. The next day social

services appeared at the door. They said they were given an abuse

call and had to check it out. They questioned my older kids

privately about the baby - does he smile, why does he cry, what are

they studying, how do we discipline etc. I wasn't home and I was

nursing so they had my husband show them that I had sufficient pumped

milk available as well as checked our cupboards to ensure we had food

for the rest of the kids. By this time I showed up. They explained

to us that they believe the call was unfounded and they feel we are

good parents. The unfortunate thing is this will be on our permanent

record. If we ever get a call again, we will be treated with greater

suspicion. I say all this to encourage you to make sure to open up

the lines of communication with your neighbors. Who cares if you are

thought of as the family that has autistic kids. That is much better

then being thought of as abusers. No matter what, that neighbor

still believes I abuse my kids. First impressions are difficult to

break. She also had talked to alot of other neighbors that we have

no communication with. It is uncomfortable because I do not know

what she has said and to who. Also, if they had arrived on a day I

was short on food or if one of my kids would have had a bruise from a

fall at the playground, the outcome might have been different. I

personally know of 2 other families that had their kids taken away

from social services only to be returned months later with not even

an apology. Maybe you could take a little treat over to your closest

neighbors to break the ice. Come across as wanting to make things

easiest for them and encourage them to let you know if anything such

as noise bothers them. They will be more willing to come to you with

a concern than someone else.

> Has anyone with autistic kids moved from one neighborhood to

another? I need

> some guidance on how to approach the subject with my new

neighbors.

>

> I don't really want to just move in and not say anything because

A) I think

> my kids yell more than other kids and persons nearby might

unfoundedly

> suspect abuse If one of them should slip out without me seeing

them, I

> would want the neighbors to know that the child may not respond to

them and

> that they should call me right away, and C) I need the neighbors

to know

> about their GFCF status, and to check with me first before offering

them any

> kind of well-meaning treat.

>

> On the other hand, I don't really want it to be the first thing out

of my

> mouth, either. My kids are children first, and I don't want to be

viewed as

> " That family with the autistic kids that just moved in. "

>

> Any ideas out there?

>

> Peggy Sue

> Mom to (7, NT) (5, SI Dysfunction, ASD) Allie (4,

Autism)

> and (2, ASD, self regulatory disorder)

>

>

>