Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 , reminds me of when we went out to dinner once and said grace and the people in the booth behind us were snickering. When we got done with saying grace, I turned around and said " and God bless your food too " Judie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 I have a different opinion here. As long as we, the MO, accept the view that it is insulting to be called " fat " then we are promulgating the cultural view of fat as wrong, ugly, or embarassing. Oh I know that people have called us that wiht full intention of hurting us and putting us down. But unless we take control of the defination, then we continue to support the problem. I support the fat movement that seeks to change the cultural view of being obese. I was around to see how this " owning the label " functioned in the black, women's, and gay movement. You bet your sweet ass I was fat. VERY fat. And it can be just honest observation when people note that. Particularly children. Or it can be used to hurt. But I refused to accept the cultural defination of fat. As far as I was concerned, being fat just made more of me to love. And I agreed with people who noticed that I was fat and said so. And usually threw the rude ones a curve when I said, " Yes I am, thank you " and smiled sweetly. That's my $.02. , formerly fat and beautiful in Seattle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 > I have a different opinion here. As long as we, the MO, accept the > view that it is insulting to be called " fat " then we are promulgating > the cultural view of fat as wrong, ugly, or embarassing. Great ! I totally agree! My husband married me at 300 pounds and he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman on the planet. <Bless his little heart!> My main reason for wanting to lose weight is because I have asthma and arthritis and can barely walk anymore without pain or sleep through the night. I have enough self-esteem to know that I'm attractive without having to be thin. When I worked temporarily at a psychologist's office there were a young sister and brother in the waiting room. When I walked out there the boy said, " My sister said you're a big fat lady! " I smiled and said, " Yes, I am. And you know what? That's not a dirty word. " The little girl thought about it for a moment and then said, " It's a big fat word! " We all laughed and neither of them said another word about it. It's amazing how you can take all the power out of a word by not allowing it to hurt you. We're all gorgeous women and men and deserve to be treated with respect by EVERYONE, including ourselves! Thanks again ! Tracey in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2001 Report Share Posted October 11, 2001 I have found that many of the people who care about me seemed to tip-toe around the weight issue. For a long time, no one mentioned anything of the sort around me. I was kind of offended at first, but then I realized they just didn't know how to deal with it. I started making comments about myself being " big " or " large " and that seemed to break the ice. There was no point in denying what I really was. I decided not to worry too much about people who were insulting me because those kind of people would always insult me for something. I didn't have surgery to get thin, I had surgery to get healthy. Too bad our society doesn't recognize obesity as a health problem rather than a lack of trying or laziness. Kathy M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2001 Report Share Posted October 11, 2001 In a message dated 10/10/2001 7:21:35 PM Pacific Daylight Time, marym@... writes: > And usually threw the rude ones a curve when I > said, " Yes I am, thank you " and smiled sweetly. > > That is true..if you don't give them the reaction they expect when they are trying to hurt...it deflates them...LOL Good attitude ! I will have to try to keep that in mind. I don't often get rude remarks but there is always that one person once in a while who feels the need to inform me of something they must think I don't know...LMAO My response to rude remarks has always been something along the lines of " I'd rather be fat than rude " or " at least you can lose fat, you can't lose being rude " LOL I'm going to try your suggestion! ~*~ AJ ~*~ Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open DS self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! 09/24/01 BMI 55.8 367.1 -48.0 lbs! -37.75 inches 10/08/01 BMI 54.3 357.1 -58.0 lbs! -50.0 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2001 Report Share Posted October 11, 2001 In a message dated 10/11/2001 5:00:23 AM Pacific Daylight Time, andem4@... writes: > I have found that many of the people who care about me seemed to tip-toe > around the weight issue. For a long time, no one mentioned anything of the > sort around me. I was kind of offended at first, but then I realized they > just didn't know how to deal with it. I started making comments about > myself being " big " or " large " and that seemed to break the ice. There was > no point in denying what I really was. I decided not to worry too much > about people who were insulting me because those kind of people would > always insult me for something. I didn't have surgery to get thin, I had > surgery to get healthy. Too bad our society doesn't recognize obesity as a > health problem rather than a lack of trying or laziness. > Unfortunetely the medical field didn't give anyone a clue in the past that it was a health issue..it was always thought to be a weakness of character. At least now things are starting to change....and someday it will be much better. My parents are a bit over weight, as was most of the women on both sides of my family. My sister is the only one I'd class as average weight. She's not skinny but she's normal...ya know. No one talked about my weight before either, but as the surgery became my persuit of happiness, we all started to talk. Before that, it was usuallyjokes we'd make about ourselves...something to laugh at. I am really happy not only with the weight I'm losing but how close its brought my family together! ~*~ AJ ~*~ Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open DS self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! 09/24/01 BMI 55.8 367.1 -48.0 lbs! -37.75 inches 10/08/01 BMI 54.3 357.1 -58.0 lbs! -50.0 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2001 Report Share Posted October 11, 2001 In a message dated 10/10/2001 9:28:51 PM Pacific Daylight Time, snurfles@... writes: > Great ! I totally agree! My husband married me at 300 pounds > and he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman on the planet. <Bless his > little heart!> thats so awesome. My new man is also trying to get WLS and its great that he knows what I'm going thru right now. He also said if I didn't ever change he wouldn't care...he's attracted to my eyes, my hair, my laugh and likes everything he sees. Man...I hope he's for real...<G> He's certainly got my attention! ~*~ AJ ~*~ Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open DS self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! 09/24/01 BMI 55.8 367.1 -48.0 lbs! -37.75 inches 10/08/01 BMI 54.3 357.1 -58.0 lbs! -50.0 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2001 Report Share Posted October 11, 2001 I too agree that the word " Fat " is highly overrated as a negative term. As a fat woman, mother and friend it has taken time but I no longer hate the word. What I do still despise is the use of the word to hurt people. My 10 year old daughter knows her mother is fat. At one point she knew the word itself was not a bad thing. However, as she gets older the word has taken on new meaning. When she was 7 and very matter of factly described a friend as " fat " her friend responded in hysteria. The girl's mother went on to claim that my daughter had hurt her child's feelings immensely. When we discussed it, it was clear my child did not use the term in a derogatory fashion and had as a matter of fact stressed the fact that people come in all shapes and sizes and fat was as ok as skinny. Unfortunately the other mother did not take the opportunity to teach the same to her daughter but rather claimed her daughter was not fat or overweight but rather big boned and mature for her age (which was and is clearly not the case). My daughter learned that although her intention was not to hurt the girl that was the outcome and walked away from the situation not quite understanding why a mother would paint a cloudy picture to her own child. That young girl clearly hates the word fat, as she has been taught to deny it and my has learned to revere the word. Now, as a ten year old my daughter has a new take on the word. Her body shape in relatively lean and she has a somewhat extended abdomen (ie. it is not flat). Because many of her classmates practice starvation and bulimia (yes I said 10 years old), and many of the same might be underweight, my daughter is told on occassion her not so flat stomach classifies her as fat (and ugly btw...don't forget fat means ugly). This prompts a counter discussion we have in my desire to provide her with the foundation of a healthy body image. It is a battle I worry she may lose if not reinforced by healthy practices and ideas. It is difficult to teach any lesson when society is showing you and telling you the exact opposite on a daily basis by most of its members, young and old. My point is - we have a long way to go before society will be more concerned with a healthy body image and a healthy body than the desire to be considered attractive (ie. not fat). These children learn from their surroundings and most importantly their parents. The kids in my daughter's school and grade are just a small sampling of our next generation and it doesn't look good for the slightly overweight, the fat, the obese or the big boned. You choose the word for the day, its all the same in the eyes of the beholder. Unfortunately the view is going to clear up any time soon. Sondra BPS/DS w/Dr. Herron 6/18/01 -100+ lbs in my healthier body > > I have a different opinion here. As long as we, the MO, accept the > > view that it is insulting to be called " fat " then we are > promulgating > > the cultural view of fat as wrong, ugly, or embarassing. > > Great ! I totally agree! My husband married me at 300 pounds > and he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman on the planet. <Bless his > little heart!> My main reason for wanting to lose weight is because > I have asthma and arthritis and can barely walk anymore without pain > or sleep through the night. I have enough self-esteem to know that > I'm attractive without having to be thin. > > When I worked temporarily at a psychologist's office there were a > young sister and brother in the waiting room. When I walked out > there the boy said, " My sister said you're a big fat lady! " I smiled > and said, " Yes, I am. And you know what? That's not a dirty word. " > The little girl thought about it for a moment and then said, " It's a > big fat word! " We all laughed and neither of them said another word > about it. It's amazing how you can take all the power out of a word > by not allowing it to hurt you. We're all gorgeous women and men and > deserve to be treated with respect by EVERYONE, including ourselves! > Thanks again ! > > Tracey in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2001 Report Share Posted October 11, 2001 The real issue on this is inappropriate labeling. Whether we are fat, thin, skinny, have a great body, have an ugly body, are crippled, have an ugly ______, or whatever, comments by anyone about our appearance are not appropriate. It has nothing to do with how we feel about ourselves. Kids need to learn these things. I, for one, help them whenever they need it. Best- Nick in Sage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2001 Report Share Posted October 11, 2001 Bravo, Nick! The only time I ever comment on anyone's appearance (to his/her face...okay, I admit it...LOL) is on Halloween, and that would only be for humor or praise. This especially applies to strangers! I might praise someone's clothing (I really like that shirt, etc.), but I would never say, " Gee, that shirt looks awful on you! " I'm fat, my brother is fat, my mother is fat, but I would never dream of saying so and would consider it rude (albeit true) if they said the same to me without context. This is simply polite and children need to learn this very basic skill. When they're old enough, they'll learn the more complicated skills, such as when NOT to tell your mother-in-law that lime green isn't really her color! hehehe... - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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