Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 In a message dated 10/10/01 12:21:26 AM Pacific Daylight Time, gold-dust@... writes: > I know doubts and fears are common, but do others flip flop dozens of times? > Sometimes I'm SURE I'm going for it; other times I'm equally positive it's > out of the question. Will I ever reach a place of calm certainty, and is it > necessary that I do? Did anyone out there feel ambivalent up to the last > minute? > > > > > I totally went thru this...it was so bad the two weeks before my surgery I had to go get anti anxiety meds! I think part of it is that I didn't think this would really work...and then the whole self worth thing. I didn't think I was worth it. But I go tthru and had my surgery and I'm so glad I did. Just hang in there....its hard but its so worth it in the end!! ~~* AJ *~~ Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open BPD/DS self pay - Dr Baltasar - Alcoy Spain 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! -15.5 inches 09/24/01 BMI 55 367.1 -48.0 lbs! 10/08/01 BMI 54 357.1 -58.0 lbs! -50 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 I remember those feelings all too well. I too took anti-anxiety meds (like AJ) before surgery to help. I did feel a temporary sense of calm the night before my surgery. People always call it 'elective' surgery. I looked at my mom and she had bypass surgery 3 years ago. She didn't have a heart attack, but she did have blockage and they did the bypass to prevent an attack. Technically, her bypass surgery was 'elective' too. I also remember being at suppport group meetings and thinking I was going to be the one person that didn't lose any weight. I was so worried that I would go through all this major surgery and fail. The day after my surgery I remember lying in the hospital thinking that I must be crazy to have done something so major to myself. This wasn't something I could easily reverse and I was stuck this way. I kept wishing it was all a dream and that I could go back and not have surgery. Of course those feelings have all subsided. By 2 weeks out I was feeling so much better and I knew I had done the right thing. At 6 weeks I was positive that this surgery had saved my life just like bypass surgery saved my mother. Next week will be 3 months and I feel better that I have since highschool. I think it is normal to question your decision up until surgery. Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and that you are totally aware of the changes ahead of you. Think about how your life will be in 5 or 10 years if you do and don't have surgery. Think about quality of life. For me, there was no question that surgery was the best decision for me. Kathy M. DS 7/19/01 213 pre-op 160 today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 In a message dated 10/10/2001 5:34:16 AM Pacific Daylight Time, psbilyeu@... writes: > . I was worried > about it makng me > groggy---but when there is true anxiety going on it takes care of > it, and leaves you > feeling so normal and rational. > It still knocked me out...LMAO I'm glad its helping you though! You're going to find (at least I did) that once you get to Spain the excitment of the trip kinda takes over. I didn't get nervous again till a few hours before surgery! I'm going to be thinking of you over the next couple weeks...I know it is going to be fine and you're going to sail thru!!! ~*~ AJ ~*~ Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open DS self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! 09/24/01 BMI 55.8 367.1 -48.0 lbs! -37.75 inches 10/08/01 BMI 54.3 357.1 -58.0 lbs! -50.0 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 In a message dated 10/10/2001 5:39:47 AM Pacific Daylight Time, andem4@... writes: > The day after my surgery I remember lying in the hospital thinking that I > must be crazy to have done something so major to myself. This wasn't > something I could easily reverse and I was stuck this way. I kept wishing > it was all a dream and that I could go back and not have surgery. > > OMG...thats exactly what I thought that first day after surgery...but it was short lived!! ~*~ AJ ~*~ Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open DS self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! 09/24/01 BMI 55.8 367.1 -48.0 lbs! -37.75 inches 10/08/01 BMI 54.3 357.1 -58.0 lbs! -50.0 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 In a message dated 10/10/2001 9:24:59 AM Pacific Daylight Time, psbilyeu@... writes: > You have such a sweet voice!! I can tell you were raised in this area > though.... you don't sound like a west coast person!! > Pammi....no one has noticed my way of speaking in years...LOL It was great talking to you too! You also sound like a very sweet lady and its great to have a voice to go with the bubbly personality I've come to love reading online! My prayers will be with you!!! You're going to do FABULOUS!!! Give Dr. B a hug from me and tell him he's my hero!!! ~*~ AJ ~*~ Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open DS self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! 09/24/01 BMI 55.8 367.1 -48.0 lbs! -37.75 inches 10/08/01 BMI 54.3 357.1 -58.0 lbs! -50.0 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 ------My mind has been working overtime, and everthing getting cramped, achy and sore-- then I realised that it was pent up anxiety--I started taking a Xanax that I had gotten for the airplane, every nite before bed---what a difference. I was worried about it makng me groggy---but when there is true anxiety going on it takes care of it, and leaves you feeling so normal and rational. Pammi leaving in days for Spain!!! > I know doubts and fears are common, but do others flip flop dozens of times? > Sometimes I'm SURE I'm going for it; other times I'm equally positive it's > out of the question. Will I ever reach a place of calm certainty, and is it > necessary that I do? Did anyone out there feel ambivalent up to the last > minute? > > I totally went thru this...it was so bad the two weeks before my surgery I had to go get anti anxiety meds! I think part of it is that I didn't think this would really work...and then the whole self worth thing. I didn't think I was worth it. But I go tthru and had my surgery and I'm so glad I did. Just hang in there....its hard but its so worth it in the end!! _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 I am leaving in 2 days!! -- Pammi leaving in days for Spain!!! _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 ----My father, who had open heart surgery felt the same way---WHY DID I DO THIS!! He felt horrible for 6 weeks. But it is part of yor body's response to the physical trauma of surgery--his preoop video even warned him of it. SO---we should expect no less---when you expect it---you can accept it for what it really is-- and not your true deep feelings. Pammi The day after my surgery I remember lying in the hospital thinking that I must be crazy to have done something so major to myself. This wasn't something I could easily reverse and I was stuck this way. I kept wishing it was all a dream and that I could go back and not have surgery. _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 I am leaving in 2 days!!>>>>>> wooooohooooooo Pammi! Youre excited, yes?? Im thrilled for you becuz I know just how much its going to change your life! Hugs, Judie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 You're just a pup!! Good thing you didn't drink with it!! Sorry I had to cut our phone call short---I knew as soon as I dialed the number my friend would drive up---she couldn't stay and I had to get some last minute instructions to her. You have such a sweet voice!! I can tell you were raised in this area though.... you don't sound like a west coast person!! Happy for you and the new guy in your life!! Pammi Re: Crazy-making In a message dated 10/10/2001 5:34:16 AM Pacific Daylight Time, psbilyeu@... writes: > . I was worried > about it makng me > groggy---but when there is true anxiety going on it takes care of > it, and leaves you > feeling so normal and rational. > It still knocked me out...LMAO I'm glad its helping you though! You're going to find (at least I did) that once you get to Spain the excitment of the trip kinda takes over. I didn't get nervous again till a few hours before surgery! I'm going to be thinking of you over the next couple weeks...I know it is going to be fine and you're going to sail thru!!! ~*~ AJ ~*~ Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open DS self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! 09/24/01 BMI 55.8 367.1 -48.0 lbs! -37.75 inches 10/08/01 BMI 54.3 357.1 -58.0 lbs! -50.0 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 Gold Dust, Boy oh boy can I relate. I have had " personality " problems with my doctors staff. It resulted in my file and approval stuff being moved to the bottom of the stack! The funniest thing was that I was relieved. It was almost like, oh well, if this wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. Then I went to physical therapy for knee...was in tears about an hour into it, and though i I ever have to go through this again, I won't be able to stand it. Flipped over to , if I don't have the DS, I could end up having my knee replacement replaced in another 5 years! So once again, I am fighting for the surgery. My other problem is that I am Libra...how much worse can decision making get! Laughing...right now, I am just aloowing myself to waffle, after all, if we didn't have some very reasonable doubts...we would be abnormal! A little, " ignorance is bliss " would be fun, though! Hugs, Theresa hang in there! > As if I wasn't crazy enough, I'm now consumed with the should I/shouldn't I > of having the surgery. One negative posting can undo the euphoria brought > by 30 positive postings, yet I'm very grateful that it isn't all one-sided > here. > > I know doubts and fears are common, but do others flip flop dozens of times? > Sometimes I'm SURE I'm going for it; other times I'm equally positive it's > out of the question. Will I ever reach a place of calm certainty, and is it > necessary that I do? Did anyone out there feel ambivalent up to the last > minute? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 I get a little more excited each day!! Time is going to fast for me right now. Yikes!!! Pammi Re: Crazy-making I am leaving in 2 days!!>>>>>> wooooohooooooo Pammi! Youre excited, yes?? Im thrilled for you becuz I know just how much its going to change your life! Hugs, Judie > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 I am armed and loaded with hugs !!! Talk to you soon!! Pammi Re: Crazy-making In a message dated 10/10/2001 9:24:59 AM Pacific Daylight Time, psbilyeu@... writes: > You have such a sweet voice!! I can tell you were raised in this area > though.... you don't sound like a west coast person!! > Pammi....no one has noticed my way of speaking in years...LOL It was great talking to you too! You also sound like a very sweet lady and its great to have a voice to go with the bubbly personality I've come to love reading online! My prayers will be with you!!! You're going to do FABULOUS!!! Give Dr. B a hug from me and tell him he's my hero!!! ~*~ AJ ~*~ Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open DS self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! 09/24/01 BMI 55.8 367.1 -48.0 lbs! -37.75 inches 10/08/01 BMI 54.3 357.1 -58.0 lbs! -50.0 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 Thanks Doris!! RE: Crazy-making Pammi: You're in my prayers. Godspeed. Have a great trip and say hello to Dr B from all his friends here in the US. I know you'll do fine. --- Pam Bilyeu wrote: > > > I am leaving in 2 days!! > > > -- > Pammi leaving in days for Spain!!! > > > > _________________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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