Guest guest Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Hi guys It's been awhile since I have needed to ask you all for advice, but this problem I have is looming closer and closer, so I figure I need to address it. Adam (12 years old, in grade 7) is going on a school over night trip at the beginning of February. He's actually gone from Monday morning to Thursday afternoon. So that's 3 nights. I have been up to the facility he is going to as a female supervisor, so I can picture exactly what/where he will be. Here's my thoughts. I have twisted this whole thing back and forth in my mind and have decided he is to go. But I would be really interested in just reading what you all think and perhaps someone might have a nugget of advice that I can use. Adam is really picked on at this school. When his teacher is absent, it's like open season on Adam. It's horrible. Now, to compound this problem, many times Adam will see someone look at him, or brush against him, or any number of other things that are just part and parcel of being 12......and he flips out thinking that he is being picked on again. He obviously has problems reading social cues and can respond excessively to slights that would normally require, perhaps, a flippant remark or some other such low key reaction. You know what I mean? So here's this small boy going off for 3 nights and 4 days like this. I wondered if his teacher or the principal would say " no " to Adam even going because when he does get upset at the other kids he takes off. I can just see him in the middle of the forest late at night all pissed because someone said something to him. I can't tell you how many times I've had to go look for him in the school over the years (the incidents are decreasing from his younger years but he's done it about 3 times this year alone). Because of that I wondered if they would take him, and I have told Adam that he would not be going if he continued like that. He fluxuates, by the way, to saying he wants to go and saying he doesn't want to go. But mostly he wants to go. Besides warning him about his behaviour of taking off, I haven't discussed the trip much with him yet. I will!! LOL So anyway, Adam's teacher came to me yesterday to discuss the snacks he will need. That tells me he is obviously going. His teacher also told me he was considering bunking Adam in a room of 2 boys instead of 6. I said " yes I figured you were going to have to give the rooming some serious thought considering you have many boys that should not be together " . So it appears he's going. I have already decided he will skip his shots for those nights. The teacher was relieved. A diabetic is going up and his mom is going up to do his shots (which the teacher frowned on). I would not have done that. But even there I have a delimma. The kids know Adam gets shots every night so what if they start hassling him and saying " sure you get needles!! You don't have them here " . So his teacher says he will say Adam is getting his meds in pill form while he's away. Now that doesn't work because why would he EVER get a needle if it was in pill form!!!!!! UGH but I didn't tell the teacher that. This email is getting too long. Here's what I am worrying about. What advice do you have? What do I say to Adam? Chances are someone IS going to say something to him at least once. Sadly, it will probably happen much more often than that. I've said " ignore " to him until I am blue in the face. Also eating. I want him to be " normal " as much as possible. The teacher says the dorm has a fridge and all kids will get a snack before bed, but I need to be sure Adam eats. I don't even know what he will be like during the dinner time. Will he eat? Most of the days will be spent on outdoor activities. And that's a whole other ball game. Will he keep up? Will the staff up there be able to recognize when he's had enough? What will they do with him once he has had enough. As you can see I am stressing about this. My daughter went to the same place in grade 8 and besides worrying about her missing home, I was OK with it. But alas, my Adam is a different story. I think every single life event will be poured over, worried over......and on and on. I'd love to read what you all think and I'm sorry for this being such a long email. Take care Debby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Hi Deb, Sorry I don't have any great advice. Just a question and a couple of thoughts. Any chance you can teach Adam to give himself a shot before he goes? I would make it clear to Adam that, if he gets angry and runs off into the woods, he could easily get lost and in this cold weather, that could be a very serious mistake. You might want to take him to some wooded area and go for a short walk with him into the woods and let him lead you back out. Make sure you know the way first. We live in a very wooded area and I have done that with . Now when he goes out to play, he never goes into the woods. Also, you might want to practice some coping behaviors for when he is getting picked on. A little role playing. First he picks on you and you show him differnt ways to handle the situation then let him try it. Let him know it is OK to be angry, but you know that. Last, I would tell him (repeatedly) that if he behaves badly, then there will be consequences when he gets back, on the other hand, if he behaves well, there will be some rewards. These are just a couple of things I think I might do. Not really sure until I get into a similar situation. I hope this helps. Ken M > Hi guys > > > > It's been awhile since I have needed to ask you all for advice, but this > problem I have is looming closer and closer, so I figure I need to address > it. > > Adam (12 years old, in grade 7) is going on a school over night trip at the > beginning of February. He's actually gone from Monday morning to Thursday > afternoon. So that's 3 nights. I have been up to the facility he is going to > as a female supervisor, so I can picture exactly what/where he will be. > > > > Here's my thoughts. I have twisted this whole thing back and forth in my > mind and have decided he is to go. But I would be really interested in just > reading what you all think and perhaps someone might have a nugget of advice > that I can use. > > > > Adam is really picked on at this school. When his teacher is absent, it's > like open season on Adam. It's horrible. Now, to compound this problem, many > times Adam will see someone look at him, or brush against him, or any number > of other things that are just part and parcel of being 12......and he flips > out thinking that he is being picked on again. He obviously has problems > reading social cues and can respond excessively to slights that would > normally require, perhaps, a flippant remark or some other such low key > reaction. You know what I mean? > > > > So here's this small boy going off for 3 nights and 4 days like this. I > wondered if his teacher or the principal would say " no " to Adam even going > because when he does get upset at the other kids he takes off. I can just > see him in the middle of the forest late at night all pissed because someone > said something to him. I can't tell you how many times I've had to go look > for him in the school over the years (the incidents are decreasing from his > younger years but he's done it about 3 times this year alone). > > > > Because of that I wondered if they would take him, and I have told Adam that > he would not be going if he continued like that. He fluxuates, by the way, > to saying he wants to go and saying he doesn't want to go. But mostly he > wants to go. Besides warning him about his behaviour of taking off, I > haven't discussed the trip much with him yet. I will!! LOL > > > > So anyway, Adam's teacher came to me yesterday to discuss the snacks he will > need. That tells me he is obviously going. His teacher also told me he was > considering bunking Adam in a room of 2 boys instead of 6. I said " yes I > figured you were going to have to give the rooming some serious thought > considering you have many boys that should not be together " . So it appears > he's going. > > > > I have already decided he will skip his shots for those nights. The teacher > was relieved. A diabetic is going up and his mom is going up to do his shots > (which the teacher frowned on). I would not have done that. But even there I > have a delimma. The kids know Adam gets shots every night so what if they > start hassling him and saying " sure you get needles!! You don't have them > here " . So his teacher says he will say Adam is getting his meds in pill form > while he's away. Now that doesn't work because why would he EVER get a > needle if it was in pill form!!!!!! UGH but I didn't tell the teacher that. > > > > This email is getting too long. Here's what I am worrying about. What advice > do you have? What do I say to Adam? Chances are someone IS going to say > something to him at least once. Sadly, it will probably happen much more > often than that. I've said " ignore " to him until I am blue in the face. > > Also eating. I want him to be " normal " as much as possible. The teacher says > the dorm has a fridge and all kids will get a snack before bed, but I need > to be sure Adam eats. I don't even know what he will be like during the > dinner time. Will he eat? Most of the days will be spent on outdoor > activities. And that's a whole other ball game. Will he keep up? Will the > staff up there be able to recognize when he's had enough? What will they do > with him once he has had enough. > > > > As you can see I am stressing about this. My daughter went to the same place > in grade 8 and besides worrying about her missing home, I was OK with it. > But alas, my Adam is a different story. I think every single life event will > be poured over, worried over......and on and on. > > > > I'd love to read what you all think and I'm sorry for this being such a long > email. > > > > Take care > > > > Debby > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Ken Thanks for the advice. Adam does already know how to do his own needles. It would be a matter of my preparing them (3 of them) in advance and sending them up in a container. However, when I told his teacher that I was planning to skip it, he was really relieved. I wondered about that, so I said " yeh I guess it would be just one more thing for you to cope with " and he said " no I was more concerned the other kids would get ahold of them " . Yikes. I didn't like that comment, so in the long run skipping 3 nights is probably the better plan when I can't be sure of storage, contamination etc. etc. etc.!! As for the role playing you are right on the mark. We do that but I guess he doesn't take it seriously or it's not his first response. As an aside he was just telling me as we drove home now for lunch that a girl in his class has a crush on him. I was happy with that little tid bit of info.....he must not stand out as " really " different if someone has a crush on him!! Thanks again Debby, who's son is a stud LOL!!!!! Re: advice on overnight--long > > > Hi Deb, > > Sorry I don't have any great advice. Just a question and a couple of > thoughts. > > Any chance you can teach Adam to give himself a shot before he goes? > > > I would make it clear to Adam that, if he gets angry and runs off > into the woods, he could easily get lost and in this cold weather, > that could be a very serious mistake. You might want to take him to > some wooded area and go for a short walk with him into the woods and > let him lead you back out. Make sure you know the way first. > > We live in a very wooded area and I have done that with . Now > when he goes out to play, he never goes into the woods. > > > Also, you might want to practice some coping behaviors for when he is > getting picked on. A little role playing. First he picks on you and > you show him differnt ways to handle the situation then let him try > it. Let him know it is OK to be angry, but you know that. > > > Last, I would tell him (repeatedly) that if he behaves badly, then > there will be consequences when he gets back, on the other hand, if > he behaves well, there will be some rewards. > > > These are just a couple of things I think I might do. Not really sure > until I get into a similar situation. > > > I hope this helps. > > Ken M > > > > > > > > > > Hi guys > > > > > > > > It's been awhile since I have needed to ask you all for advice, but > this > > problem I have is looming closer and closer, so I figure I need to > address > > it. > > > > Adam (12 years old, in grade 7) is going on a school over night > trip at the > > beginning of February. He's actually gone from Monday morning to > Thursday > > afternoon. So that's 3 nights. I have been up to the facility he is > going to > > as a female supervisor, so I can picture exactly what/where he will > be. > > > > > > > > Here's my thoughts. I have twisted this whole thing back and forth > in my > > mind and have decided he is to go. But I would be really interested > in just > > reading what you all think and perhaps someone might have a nugget > of advice > > that I can use. > > > > > > > > Adam is really picked on at this school. When his teacher is > absent, it's > > like open season on Adam. It's horrible. Now, to compound this > problem, many > > times Adam will see someone look at him, or brush against him, or > any number > > of other things that are just part and parcel of being 12......and > he flips > > out thinking that he is being picked on again. He obviously has > problems > > reading social cues and can respond excessively to slights that > would > > normally require, perhaps, a flippant remark or some other such low > key > > reaction. You know what I mean? > > > > > > > > So here's this small boy going off for 3 nights and 4 days like > this. I > > wondered if his teacher or the principal would say " no " to Adam > even going > > because when he does get upset at the other kids he takes off. I > can just > > see him in the middle of the forest late at night all pissed > because someone > > said something to him. I can't tell you how many times I've had to > go look > > for him in the school over the years (the incidents are decreasing > from his > > younger years but he's done it about 3 times this year alone). > > > > > > > > Because of that I wondered if they would take him, and I have told > Adam that > > he would not be going if he continued like that. He fluxuates, by > the way, > > to saying he wants to go and saying he doesn't want to go. But > mostly he > > wants to go. Besides warning him about his behaviour of taking off, > I > > haven't discussed the trip much with him yet. I will!! LOL > > > > > > > > So anyway, Adam's teacher came to me yesterday to discuss the > snacks he will > > need. That tells me he is obviously going. His teacher also told me > he was > > considering bunking Adam in a room of 2 boys instead of 6. I > said " yes I > > figured you were going to have to give the rooming some serious > thought > > considering you have many boys that should not be together " . So it > appears > > he's going. > > > > > > > > I have already decided he will skip his shots for those nights. The > teacher > > was relieved. A diabetic is going up and his mom is going up to do > his shots > > (which the teacher frowned on). I would not have done that. But > even there I > > have a delimma. The kids know Adam gets shots every night so what > if they > > start hassling him and saying " sure you get needles!! You don't > have them > > here " . So his teacher says he will say Adam is getting his meds in > pill form > > while he's away. Now that doesn't work because why would he EVER > get a > > needle if it was in pill form!!!!!! UGH but I didn't tell the > teacher that. > > > > > > > > This email is getting too long. Here's what I am worrying about. > What advice > > do you have? What do I say to Adam? Chances are someone IS going to > say > > something to him at least once. Sadly, it will probably happen much > more > > often than that. I've said " ignore " to him until I am blue in the > face. > > > > Also eating. I want him to be " normal " as much as possible. The > teacher says > > the dorm has a fridge and all kids will get a snack before bed, but > I need > > to be sure Adam eats. I don't even know what he will be like during > the > > dinner time. Will he eat? Most of the days will be spent on outdoor > > activities. And that's a whole other ball game. Will he keep up? > Will the > > staff up there be able to recognize when he's had enough? What will > they do > > with him once he has had enough. > > > > > > > > As you can see I am stressing about this. My daughter went to the > same place > > in grade 8 and besides worrying about her missing home, I was OK > with it. > > But alas, my Adam is a different story. I think every single life > event will > > be poured over, worried over......and on and on. > > > > > > > > I'd love to read what you all think and I'm sorry for this being > such a long > > email. > > > > > > > > Take care > > > > > > > > Debby > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Hi deb, Given that there is no secure area to store GH, I agree, skipping a few nights is the wisest thing to do. After all it is not like he will shrink. I don't understand why they don't have a refrig/cabinet for keeping meds. After all it should only cost about $200 American (About $3 million Canadian last time I checked). does the same thing. We talk and rehearse some action until he gets fed up and then come the big moment, he forgets everything we taught him. I know, in the long run, it will sink in. Well, that certainly is good news, a girl friend. When is the wedding? Am I invited? Will there be cake? Skip the wedding and invitation, just send the cake. Ken M > > > Hi guys > > > > > > > > > > > > It's been awhile since I have needed to ask you all for advice, but > > this > > > problem I have is looming closer and closer, so I figure I need to > > address > > > it. > > > > > > Adam (12 years old, in grade 7) is going on a school over night > > trip at the > > > beginning of February. He's actually gone from Monday morning to > > Thursday > > > afternoon. So that's 3 nights. I have been up to the facility he is > > going to > > > as a female supervisor, so I can picture exactly what/where he will > > be. > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's my thoughts. I have twisted this whole thing back and forth > > in my > > > mind and have decided he is to go. But I would be really interested > > in just > > > reading what you all think and perhaps someone might have a nugget > > of advice > > > that I can use. > > > > > > > > > > > > Adam is really picked on at this school. When his teacher is > > absent, it's > > > like open season on Adam. It's horrible. Now, to compound this > > problem, many > > > times Adam will see someone look at him, or brush against him, or > > any number > > > of other things that are just part and parcel of being 12......and > > he flips > > > out thinking that he is being picked on again. He obviously has > > problems > > > reading social cues and can respond excessively to slights that > > would > > > normally require, perhaps, a flippant remark or some other such low > > key > > > reaction. You know what I mean? > > > > > > > > > > > > So here's this small boy going off for 3 nights and 4 days like > > this. I > > > wondered if his teacher or the principal would say " no " to Adam > > even going > > > because when he does get upset at the other kids he takes off. I > > can just > > > see him in the middle of the forest late at night all pissed > > because someone > > > said something to him. I can't tell you how many times I've had to > > go look > > > for him in the school over the years (the incidents are decreasing > > from his > > > younger years but he's done it about 3 times this year alone). > > > > > > > > > > > > Because of that I wondered if they would take him, and I have told > > Adam that > > > he would not be going if he continued like that. He fluxuates, by > > the way, > > > to saying he wants to go and saying he doesn't want to go. But > > mostly he > > > wants to go. Besides warning him about his behaviour of taking off, > > I > > > haven't discussed the trip much with him yet. I will!! LOL > > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, Adam's teacher came to me yesterday to discuss the > > snacks he will > > > need. That tells me he is obviously going. His teacher also told me > > he was > > > considering bunking Adam in a room of 2 boys instead of 6. I > > said " yes I > > > figured you were going to have to give the rooming some serious > > thought > > > considering you have many boys that should not be together " . So it > > appears > > > he's going. > > > > > > > > > > > > I have already decided he will skip his shots for those nights. The > > teacher > > > was relieved. A diabetic is going up and his mom is going up to do > > his shots > > > (which the teacher frowned on). I would not have done that. But > > even there I > > > have a delimma. The kids know Adam gets shots every night so what > > if they > > > start hassling him and saying " sure you get needles!! You don't > > have them > > > here " . So his teacher says he will say Adam is getting his meds in > > pill form > > > while he's away. Now that doesn't work because why would he EVER > > get a > > > needle if it was in pill form!!!!!! UGH but I didn't tell the > > teacher that. > > > > > > > > > > > > This email is getting too long. Here's what I am worrying about. > > What advice > > > do you have? What do I say to Adam? Chances are someone IS going to > > say > > > something to him at least once. Sadly, it will probably happen much > > more > > > often than that. I've said " ignore " to him until I am blue in the > > face. > > > > > > Also eating. I want him to be " normal " as much as possible. The > > teacher says > > > the dorm has a fridge and all kids will get a snack before bed, but > > I need > > > to be sure Adam eats. I don't even know what he will be like during > > the > > > dinner time. Will he eat? Most of the days will be spent on outdoor > > > activities. And that's a whole other ball game. Will he keep up? > > Will the > > > staff up there be able to recognize when he's had enough? What will > > they do > > > with him once he has had enough. > > > > > > > > > > > > As you can see I am stressing about this. My daughter went to the > > same place > > > in grade 8 and besides worrying about her missing home, I was OK > > with it. > > > But alas, my Adam is a different story. I think every single life > > event will > > > be poured over, worried over......and on and on. > > > > > > > > > > > > I'd love to read what you all think and I'm sorry for this being > > such a long > > > email. > > > > > > > > > > > > Take care > > > > > > > > > > > > Debby > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.