My Plea to all of you thinking of having surgery! Depression!!!

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, Yes it's true I'm posting again. I know it's been way too

long and I apologize. For those who do not know me here is my brief

history.

1992- Vertical Banded Gastroplasty, weight @ 342

1995- VBG reversed, weight @ 240 silastic ring closed off due to adhesions

1998- Duodenal Switch-Dr. Rabkin, weight @ 304

2000- Duodenal Switch revision-Dr. Rabkin, weight @ 127 I became too

skinny so Dr. R put some of my intestines back

2001- Weight at 142

I'm 29, 5ft7, full time law student (last year) and I can eat anything and

everything. I can eat all day and not gain one pound.

Here is the reason for my letter!

I became morbidly obese because of abuse as a child. Being fat was a great

shield. Now of course, I always wanted to lose the weight but when I was

sad, I ate. When I was bored, I ate. When I was happy, I ate.

I could always use my weight as a shield. He doesn't like me because I'm

fat. I didn't get the job because I'm fat. I can't go out because I'm fat.

etc.

When I had the DS surgery, I lost almost 200 pounds in a little over a

year. I went from being fat and ugly (by society standards) to thin and

beautiful. I was asked out two or three times a week. Now it's about twice

a month. Now you think everything would be grand but you couldn't be more

wrong.

I can no longer use the fat as a shield. In other words, I must battle my

own demons without the help of my weight.

I became severely depressed. All the issues from my childhood were now raw

and I HAD to deal with them or else shrivel up and rot away. I'm in law

school and the depression was sooo bad that I would spend a week at a time

in my bedroom crying with the lights off and no contact with the outside

world. This affected my school work and everything else.

So, instead of dealing with them I thought some prescription drugs would

take care of my problems. I started a Norco addiction (twice as strong as

Vicodin) and kept that up for almost a year. It kept the pain of reality

at bay but it sure screwed with my ability to think. I don't know how I

stayed in law school. I can remember taking a final on TWO Norco's and I

don't even remember what I wrote. Somehow I ended up with a C+ on the

exam.

It wasn't until August of this year that I finally had enough. I called

Kaisers emergency psychiatric line and told the nurse absolutely

everything. I was put into therapy for the severe depression, was put on

Wellbutrin and also stopped the prescription drugs cold turkey. I started

going to two group therapies a week. One for severe depression and the

other for co-dependence. I still have so many issues to work out but boy

have I come a long way.

I'm being harshly honest here for a couple of reasons. One, I started this

list for this reason. To get honest help to all people concerning this

surgery physically and mentally. Plus, I don't want anyone to think that

the DS surgery will cure all your problems.

WARNING: If you have serious issues and suffer from depression or use your

weight to hide from your problems, get therapy BEFORE having the surgery.

It can save your life. I was in serious trouble and it had nothing to do

with being fat but everything to do with clinical depression.

Sincerely, R.