Re: RISKS AND FEAR, NOT JUST THE POSITIVE

[Guest guest]

This was the easiest decision of my life.. I pray you find peace with

yours. I wouldnt change it for the world and I will always be

grateful for this group and my surgeon.

Sue

Post op 9/11/01

Dr. Warden

> FOR SOME REASON, I HAVE FOUGHT THIS BATTLE FOR 15

> YEARS. NOW,I HAVE FOUND A DR. TO DO THE REVISION FROM

> VBG TO DS AND I ENDED UP IN A PUDDLE OF FEAR, AND

> EVERY

> REASON WHY i SHOULD HAVE IT WENT OUT THE WINDOW AT

> THAT TIME. I WAS REDUCED TO ONE FACTOR, I AM

> BREATHING NOW AND I MAY NOT BE AFTER SURGERY. MY

> INSECURITY HAS NEVER BEEN HIGHER IN MY LIFE. I CAN

> TELL MYSELF OVER AND OVER, ALL THE REAL FACTS WHY I

> NEED THIS NOW, BUT MY FEAR ( OR THE HANDLING OF IT ON

> MY OWN) HAS LEAD ME TO TWO CANCELLATIONS OF SURGERY.

> I HAVE LISTENED TO MY HEART, AND I'M GETTING ANOTHER

> CONSULT, HOPING TO LOWER THE RISKS AS MY AGE IS 55. I

> HAVE WRITTEN OVER THIS PAST YEAR, ON THIS LIST AND

> OTHERS QUITE A FEW TIMES. SOME HAVE BEEN SUPPORTIVE

> AND SOME NOT. MY BIGGEST FEAR AND NEED IS MY FAMILY

> BEING THERE, AND THEY HAVE ALWAYS COME UP WITH REASONS

> NOT TO. i KEEP LOOKING FOR A MAGIC PILL, AND ANSWER

> THAT WILL NOT BE AS DRASTIC AS THIS SURGERY, BUT I

> KNOW IT DOESN'T EXIST. I'VE READ THE HORROR STORIES,

> AND MANY MANY POSITIVE ONES, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M

> THE ONE THAT ALWAYS GETS THE HAIR IN HER SOUP!SO, I'M

> GOING TO FIND A COUNSELOR THAT CAN HELP ME FIND MY

> PEACE AGAIN, AND ALSO SOMEONE WHO CAN DO HYPNOSIS AND

> BE WITH ME THROUGH THE SURGERY. I JUST " NEED " SOMEONE

> JUST FOR ME. EVEN MY HUSBAND DOESN'T REALLY

> UNDERSTAND. I'VE RAISED KIDS, KEPT JOBS, AND NOW I

> FEEL I DESERVE ATTENTION JUST FOR ME. DOES THIS SOUND

> STUPID OR FUNNY? ANYWAY, ANY SOULSEARCHERS LIKE ME

> OUT THERE HAVE ANY COMMENTS? THANKS, SORRY I DON'T

> MEAN TO BE NEGATIVE! MARIL

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Maril: I was not scared of dying on the table at all...I was

terrified of continuing to live my life fat, in pain and getting

worse each year.

I think a counselor and trying hypnosis may be a good idea for you.

I wish you peace with whatever path you take.

Jo

Dr. Keshishian

2/19/01

104 pounds gone

[Guest guest]

Maril,

As a Christian, I have complete faith that God is in control of my

surgery (and WHEN it will happen), but either way - whether the

surgery is successful - or I die on the table - I will be better

off!! I can't lose in this one.

Hang in there. I'll add you to my prayer list.

God bless you,

PeggyP