Re: Isolating infant from friends & family while banded

[Guest guest]

I was worried about what my friends and family might say at first. Especially

since my husband's family show how much they like you by endless teasing.

However, I was happily surprised that everyone was really interested in learning

about the band and they didn't make it a big deal at all.

We just went on vacation with family and since Luke had graduated already, our

most curious and outspoken nephews and niece asked if his head was " better. "

When I said that it is, they all said how happy they are that's he's all better.

It was really sweet and an unexpected response.

I don't think your F & F will do anything but support you. Your child may not even

be in the band for 4 months. You get so used to it that it will seem normal

within a couple of weeks.

Good Luck!

, mom to Luke, 8.5 months, severe brachy, mild plagio

STARband grad 6/09

NYC

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> > One life lesson that I have learned in recent years is that if you treat

something like it's no big deal, most other people will as well. I'm willing to

bet that most of the kids won't think much of it. The adults might, but you can

just act like it's no big deal and after a little bit of experience being around

the baby, they will probably forget that it's even on as well.

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> > Remember that people will be curious. It's only natural. Just mention it in

passing. " Oh, didn't I tell you that we were getting him a helmet. He's got a

flat spot and the helmet will correct this. It's really quite light and he

doesn't seem to mind wearing it at all. It'll only be for a few months. Don't

you think it's cute? "

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> > I didn't " officially " tell my family, but they live on the other side of the

country. I did mention it in passing on a few occasions and sent them pictures

of her in it. I also sent progress pics and my F and F commented on how quickly

they were seeing improvement. Then, they asked some questions and I answered.

The cousins never saw her in person while she wore it, although they probably

did in the pictures I sent. They range in age from 7 months to 7 years and I

trust the my sisters were able to adequately explain the reason for the helmet.

When we were in California this summer after 's graduation, no one even

mentioned her helmet or her head. When I said something about a little flat

spot left, my sister told me that her head looked good to her. The cousins

didn't say a word or look at her funny or anything. I really don't think that

it's something that the kids thought of as something to tease about. If it's no

big deal , then there's

> nothing to tease about.

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> > If you did tell F and F, t his will give the adults a chance to teach the

kids about differences. I believe that the more exposure our kids get to

differences, the better adults they will be. My little neice is almost 4 years

old and is showing significant signs of Autism and has significant developmental

delays. My kids did look at her funny while we were in California, but they

seemed to understand that the rules and expectations were different for her

because she can't talk and is a lot like a baby. kept referring to her

as " baby. " We are thinking that we will have to have the discussion with our

kids about her differences before too long. The explanation of a helmet will be

much easier than this one.

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> > was older, but she loved her helmet and was so proud of wearing it.

She loved to show other people, " 's helmet " when she saw others with bike

helmets, etc. Most of the comments were along the lines of " Your helmet is very

pretty. What do you have on there? "

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> > Obviously, the decision is up to you, but I worry a little bit about the

kind of message you are giving to others and the baby if you do this. You say

that you're not ashamed, but I'm afraid that being ashamed may be what would

be communicated through this action. You may find that you feel differently

once you get the helmet.

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> > , mom to , 22.5 months

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> > STARband from 14.5 to 20.5 months plus CST

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> > also mom to Aidan, 3 years

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> > land

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> > Isolating infant from friends & family while banded

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> > we haven't really told any of our friends and family that we're planning on

having our 6 mth old wear a helmet for the next 4 mths.

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> > We'll take the kid outdoors, but we're thinking about not mentioning

anything to F & F about the Band. Not b/c we're ashamed (if anything I'm pissed

off that no one mentioned plagio when they insisted on the sleep to back thing).

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> > No, we're worried that the kids of our F & F's may tease our kid about

misshapen head issues later. Hopefully after it's been corrected, no one will

even notice it. But a helmet could leave an indelible mark w/ F & F and they'll

probably mention it to their kids in passing.

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> > Do any parents have any experience with this?

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