Re: Isolating infant from friends & family while banded

[Guest guest]

I would share with friends and family what you are going through with your son.

They should be a source of support for you. See it as an opportunity to educate

them (and others) about plagio. We didn't know anything about it either prior

to bringing our son home from the hospital...and wish someone had told us about

it. I love my family and they are very supportive, but I had to educate them,

too, when we decided to proceed with treatment. They were absolutely convinced

he was going to be hot and miserable with " that heavy thing on his head all the

time " . We had several conversations about that prior to banding. Those

conversations weren't pleasant and could have left us feeling bad about our

decision to band, but we had already done our research and were convinced it was

the right move. As a last resort, I started sharing pictures of helmets and

info (and before/after photos) with family members to ease their concerns. Once

he got his band, they were able to see that he was fine and as happy as ever. We

all forget that he is wearing it now. As for our friends, prior to banding we

talked about his plagio (again, educational opportunity) and about the helmet he

was about to get. We stayed upbeat about it... " can't wait to get started with

treatment...can't wait to see his little noggin round again " ...shared info about

how we were going to decorate it...etc. Basically, just tried to put people at

ease about the whole thing beforehand, so when they saw him in his helmet,

they'd already feel comfortable with it. People will feed off of your enthusiasm

about the treatment process. That goes for strangers, too. The kids we know

have handled it beautifully...they've asked their questions and have moved right

on. I think if we treat plagio and its' treatment as something that should be

hidden - for whatever reason - we're not doing our kids any favors. And we're

certainly not helping spread the word for the benefit of other families who,

like us, didn't know anything about plagio until it was already set in motion.

Good luck...I hope the treatment process goes well and I hope you get lots of

support from family and friends if you decide to share.

Jill

Cade's mom, 6 mo, DOCband 6/18/09

Texas

>

> we haven't really told any of our friends and family that we're planning on

having our 6 mth old wear a helmet for the next 4 mths.

>

> We'll take the kid outdoors, but we're thinking about not mentioning anything

to F & F about the Band. Not b/c we're ashamed (if anything I'm pissed off that

no one mentioned plagio when they insisted on the sleep to back thing).

>

> No, we're worried that the kids of our F & F's may tease our kid about

misshapen head issues later. Hopefully after it's been corrected, no one will

even notice it. But a helmet could leave an indelible mark w/ F & F and they'll

probably mention it to their kids in passing.

>

> Do any parents have any experience with this?

>

[Guest guest]

I also noticed when my daughter was banded if you keep it decorated the children

love to talk about it. I am a teacher and I would take my daughter to school

with me when I took at day off. The children loved to comment on how cute the

helmet was decorated and how they would decorate it next. I was also afraid but

I think the children actually handled it better than some of the staring adults

with unnecessary comments.

Tonya

Proud Mommy of Leinee(DOC grad 2/26/09) and

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > we haven't really told any of our friends and family that we're planning

on

> > > having our 6 mth old wear a helmet for the next 4 mths.

> > >

> > > We'll take the kid outdoors, but we're thinking about not mentioning

> > > anything to F & F about the Band. Not b/c we're ashamed (if anything I'm

> > > pissed off that no one mentioned plagio when they insisted on the sleep to

> > > back thing).

> > >

> > > No, we're worried that the kids of our F & F's may tease our kid about

> > > misshapen head issues later. Hopefully after it's been corrected, no one

> > > will even notice it. But a helmet could leave an indelible mark w/ F & F

and

> > > they'll probably mention it to their kids in passing.

> > >

> > > Do any parents have any experience with this?

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Okay, I'll bite. I can see where the original poster is coming from. My son

was banded from 9 months to 13 months. Part of that time overlapped Christmas.

We sent our Christmas card list an updated picture of our son and I really

debated whether or not to take it in the helmet. I wasn't ashamed of our

choice, but I wasn't sure I wanted to take up half our holiday letter explaining

it when we had other news to share. Then, I was afraid that if we didn't

explain it, it would leave everyone unnecessarily unconcerned. The friends and

family we regularly spoke to and communicated with did know about the helmet,

but the great aunt and uncle living 2 states away never did. In the end, our

son wore a cute Santa hat with name written on it that the daycare made.

-, mom to Johann (3 years old and helmet free for 2 years!) and Anders (6

months old and soon-to-be banded)

Indianapolis

>

>

>

> One life lesson that I have learned in recent years is that if you treat

something like it's no big deal, most other people will as well. I'm willing to

bet that most of the kids won't think much of it. The adults might, but you can

just act like it's no big deal and after a little bit of experience being around

the baby, they will probably forget that it's even on as well.

>

>

>

> Remember that people will be curious. It's only natural. Just mention it in

passing. " Oh, didn't I tell you that we were getting him a helmet. He's got a

flat spot and the helmet will correct this. It's really quite light and he

doesn't seem to mind wearing it at all. It'll only be for a few months. Don't

you think it's cute? "

>

>

>

> I didn't " officially " tell my family, but they live on the other side of the

country. I did mention it in passing on a few occasions and sent them pictures

of her in it. I also sent progress pics and my F and F commented on how quickly

they were seeing improvement. Then, they asked some questions and I answered.

The cousins never saw her in person while she wore it, although they probably

did in the pictures I sent. They range in age from 7 months to 7 years and I

trust the my sisters were able to adequately explain the reason for the helmet.

When we were in California this summer after 's graduation, no one even

mentioned her helmet or her head. When I said something about a little flat

spot left, my sister told me that her head looked good to her. The cousins

didn't say a word or look at her funny or anything. I really don't think that

it's something that the kids thought of as something to tease about. If it's no

big deal , then there's nothing to tease about.

>

>

>

> If you did tell F and F, t his will give the adults a chance to teach the kids

about differences. I believe that the more exposure our kids get to differences,

the better adults they will be. My little neice is almost 4 years old and is

showing significant signs of Autism and has significant developmental delays. My

kids did look at her funny while we were in California, but they seemed to

understand that the rules and expectations were different for her because she

can't talk and is a lot like a baby. kept referring to her as " baby. " We

are thinking that we will have to have the discussion with our kids about her

differences before too long. The explanation of a helmet will be much easier

than this one.

>

>

>

> was older, but she loved her helmet and was so proud of wearing it.

She loved to show other people, " 's helmet " when she saw others with bike

helmets, etc. Most of the comments were along the lines of " Your helmet is very

pretty. What do you have on there? "

>

>

>

> Obviously, the decision is up to you, but I worry a little bit about the kind

of message you are giving to others and the baby if you do this. You say that

you're not ashamed, but I'm afraid that being ashamed may be what would

be communicated through this action. You may find that you feel differently

once you get the helmet.

>

>

>

> , mom to , 22.5 months

>

> STARband from 14.5 to 20.5 months plus CST

>

> also mom to Aidan, 3 years

>

> land

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>

> Isolating infant from friends & family while banded

>

>  

>

>

>

>

> we haven't really told any of our friends and family that we're planning on

having our 6 mth old wear a helmet for the next 4 mths.

>

> We'll take the kid outdoors, but we're thinking about not mentioning anything

to F & F about the Band. Not b/c we're ashamed (if anything I'm pissed off that

no one mentioned plagio when they insisted on the sleep to back thing).

>

> No, we're worried that the kids of our F & F's may tease our kid about

misshapen head issues later. Hopefully after it's been corrected, no one will

even notice it. But a helmet could leave an indelible mark w/ F & F and they'll

probably mention it to their kids in passing.

>

> Do any parents have any experience with this?

>

[Guest guest]

I understand your heasitation, but it's important to think about what's best for

your child. Babies don't need to be isolated. Your baby won't have any clue

what's going on on top of his head. Get some fun decals to decorate it and make

it fun. The best thing is to just bite the bullet and take him out and let

everyone know what's up. be PROUD of your child regardless of your feelings on

dealing with questions. If you act like there is something to be ashamed

of(which, if you hide your baby that IS the way it appears), people will treat

you that way.

I work with kids and my baby is around them a lot and I have not had a single

child poke fun at her. Most kids think it's really cool. They ask questions and

then, just accept it. If they do make fun of your baby, that's a good time for

them to learn an invaluable lesson on kindness.

We are a month into our baby girl's banding and shes doing fine. It's not

nearly as traumatic as I thought it would be, but I think a lot of that is

because we tote her around everywhere, take pictures, and have been very open

about it.

Good luck!!

>

> we haven't really told any of our friends and family that we're planning on

having our 6 mth old wear a helmet for the next 4 mths.

>

> We'll take the kid outdoors, but we're thinking about not mentioning anything

to F & F about the Band. Not b/c we're ashamed (if anything I'm pissed off that

no one mentioned plagio when they insisted on the sleep to back thing).

>

> No, we're worried that the kids of our F & F's may tease our kid about

misshapen head issues later. Hopefully after it's been corrected, no one will

even notice it. But a helmet could leave an indelible mark w/ F & F and they'll

probably mention it to their kids in passing.

>

> Do any parents have any experience with this?

>