Re: reason for chewing

[Guest guest]

> Dana,

>

> I belong to a local (for me) Autism list as well as this one and on

this

> other list is a 30-something yr old autistic man who I think would

disagree

> with some of what you said in your response to Lora.

This is a good example of people being individuals and disagreeing.

Not all AS are the same.

He has posted

several

> messages to our list in response to " chewing " issues from parents as

he

> himself is a " chewer " and his insights are quite interesting.

Then he is apparently helpful for you, that is good.

He

still uses

> a " chewie " when he needs to. This man has authored several books and

is a

> frequent guest speaker at Autism conferences.

I have been asked by several people to write a book, but I decided to

establish an internet website instead, I hate the idea of people

paying for information needed to help themselves and/or their

children, plus I like the ability to update whenever I learn new

things. I speak at local support groups occasionally, but not too

much, because my social skills are not very good unless I am in a

structured environment, or in court [i am an attorney].

However, if your comment here is intended to convey the idea that an

author and speaker would have an opinion more worthy of consideration

than mine or than any other person on this list, then I will disagree

with that. I believe every person's opinion is valid and worthy of

consideration, and noone's opinion is more or less valuable than

any other person's opinion.

I don't think he

considers

> himself a " dog " and I am pretty sure that Lora does not feel that

she is

> treating her child like one either.

Probably not, but I would see it differently, if I saw a parent

giving their child a chew tube, I would first think that parent was

treating their child like a dog, and then I would have to mentally

correct myself, but I do not know that other people in society would

make that correction, perhaps believing that even the child's own

parent considers him to be a lesser human. But then each parent and

person is entitled to his/her own opinions. I will give my opinion,

and other people will give their opinions, and then each person will

make their own decisions. If you disagree with my opinion, then

please disregard it. But just know that some people do have the

opinion that I have.

I think your insights and

information

> are invaluable to this list and I am always interested in reading

your

> posts. But I do think that as you said very clearly, all our

children are

> different. And all of our experiences and much of our info is

different and

> that's why it is nice to be on lists like this. Gather information

that you

> think will be useful to you or your child. Not all of it is, and

not all of

> us feel the same way about things. I think we have to try to be

careful

> about the tone of our posts, even when we don't share the same

opinion or

> experience.

I am as careful as I can be about the tone of my posts. But I am

autistic, and my social skills are bad even on a good day. If the

tone of my post sounds negative, then you can just know that I did not

intend it to be that way. Perhaps if I sound inflammatory, you can

read my messages again and try to make it sound objective, and see if

that helps you understand my tone as I typed it. I always try to be

helpful, I try to give ONE parent's opinion, or ONE autistic person's

opinion, but it is not the ONLY parent opinion, or the ONLY autistic

person's opinion. Many people agree with me, many don't.

But I do the best I can, and if it bothers you that my social skills

are bad, then I would definitely suggest that you don't read my posts,

because I appear to learn social things VERY slowly if at all, so I

know most of my replies will say something or sound in some way

offensive for at least one person.

I do not recall that I said that I thought Lora personally was

treating her child like a dog, this is what I wrote --

>>But I disagree strongly with the use of a " chew tube " . I think it

is treating a child like a dog, which I believe contributes to the

notion of autistic individuals as lesser human beings.

To me, this is a statement of my opinion. Actually I did try very

hard to make it NOT sound like an accusation at all, just a general

observation of my opinion. I tried not to accuse anyone of anything,

I guess I failed on that account. But I am open to suggestions, if

you have other wording I could have used that would have stated my

opinion without sounding like an accusation, which apparently it did

even tho I have no idea how. If you have another recommended way of

phrasing it, I would like to learn a new social nuance.

Dana