RISKS AND FEAR, NOT JUST THE POSITIVE

[Guest guest]

FOR SOME REASON, I HAVE FOUGHT THIS BATTLE FOR 15

YEARS. NOW,I HAVE FOUND A DR. TO DO THE REVISION FROM

VBG TO DS AND I ENDED UP IN A PUDDLE OF FEAR, AND

EVERY

REASON WHY i SHOULD HAVE IT WENT OUT THE WINDOW AT

THAT TIME. I WAS REDUCED TO ONE FACTOR, I AM

BREATHING NOW AND I MAY NOT BE AFTER SURGERY. MY

INSECURITY HAS NEVER BEEN HIGHER IN MY LIFE. I CAN

TELL MYSELF OVER AND OVER, ALL THE REAL FACTS WHY I

NEED THIS NOW, BUT MY FEAR ( OR THE HANDLING OF IT ON

MY OWN) HAS LEAD ME TO TWO CANCELLATIONS OF SURGERY.

I HAVE LISTENED TO MY HEART, AND I'M GETTING ANOTHER

CONSULT, HOPING TO LOWER THE RISKS AS MY AGE IS 55. I

HAVE WRITTEN OVER THIS PAST YEAR, ON THIS LIST AND

OTHERS QUITE A FEW TIMES. SOME HAVE BEEN SUPPORTIVE

AND SOME NOT. MY BIGGEST FEAR AND NEED IS MY FAMILY

BEING THERE, AND THEY HAVE ALWAYS COME UP WITH REASONS

NOT TO. i KEEP LOOKING FOR A MAGIC PILL, AND ANSWER

THAT WILL NOT BE AS DRASTIC AS THIS SURGERY, BUT I

KNOW IT DOESN'T EXIST. I'VE READ THE HORROR STORIES,

AND MANY MANY POSITIVE ONES, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M

THE ONE THAT ALWAYS GETS THE HAIR IN HER SOUP!SO, I'M

GOING TO FIND A COUNSELOR THAT CAN HELP ME FIND MY

PEACE AGAIN, AND ALSO SOMEONE WHO CAN DO HYPNOSIS AND

BE WITH ME THROUGH THE SURGERY. I JUST " NEED " SOMEONE

JUST FOR ME. EVEN MY HUSBAND DOESN'T REALLY

UNDERSTAND. I'VE RAISED KIDS, KEPT JOBS, AND NOW I

FEEL I DESERVE ATTENTION JUST FOR ME. DOES THIS SOUND

STUPID OR FUNNY? ANYWAY, ANY SOULSEARCHERS LIKE ME

OUT THERE HAVE ANY COMMENTS? THANKS, SORRY I DON'T

MEAN TO BE NEGATIVE! MARIL

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