Re: Fibbing about how we lose weight -- epiphany

[Guest guest]

Enough of you have bared your souls that I'm sort of getting it now, I think.

Society has taught us to be ashamed of ourselves for allowing

ourselves to get so ugly, distastefully, abominably FAT! So, if we

do anything to call attention to our struggle with our FAT, we just

stir up that shame, not only with others, but with ourselves, too!.

Better to sneak off quietly, lose the weight, and then try to " blend

in " with the " better " folk. Let's pretend that we never were really

FAT. Sort of like: " oh, oh, I got pregnant, and I'm not married, so

I'll sneak out of town to have the baby, give it up for adoption, and

slip back into town several months later and pretend that nothing

ever happened. "

That's the sadness that we carry in our souls. It's the

self-loathing that we try to hide, more from ourselves than for

others. I most sincerely melt and weep for each of you, my dear

friends, who have so bought into what society has taught us, that you

are thus afflicted. I wish for you that you might find the

acceptance of yourselves, whether your body happens to be FAT or

" normal, " so that you never have to think about blending in again.

With great respect and caring,

Steve

--

[Guest guest]

I happen to agree with you. I will not be berated for not running

around telling everyone that I had bp/ds. If you are at a point in

your life where you feel comfortable doing that, then Bully for

you! I will admit that I have a problem with being fat. It is not a

pleasure or something that I accept or rejoice in. If that makes me

less acceptable as a person than so be it.

This is a private and very personal decision. And it is not for public

broadcast. I can not tell you how many RNY'ers I have met who had the

surgery who ran around swearing that it was the best thing they ever

did. Look at them today and you would have a hard time getting them to

tell you that they had RNY.

Maybe 5 years down the road when I am comfortable in my body and

confident that the results are truly forever I will be comfortable

sharing my story. But for now I am still in a wait and see mode.

I pray that I will not be an exception but I am a results person.

I would also have to tell the good with the bad. Yes things do get

better but the first two weeks I thought I was going to die. And I

never really saw anyone post on how hard it is immediately post-op.

> > > Enough of you have bared your souls that I'm sort of getting it

> > now, I think.

> > >

> > > Society has taught us to be ashamed of ourselves for allowing

> > > ourselves to get so ugly, distastefully, abominably FAT! So,

if

> > we

> > > do anything to call attention to our struggle with our FAT, we

> just

> > > stir up that shame, not only with others, but with ourselves,

> too!.

> > > Better to sneak off quietly, lose the weight, and then try

> > to " blend

> > > in " with the " better " folk. Let's pretend that we never were

> > really

> > > FAT. Sort of like: " oh, oh, I got pregnant, and I'm not

married,

> > so

> > > I'll sneak out of town to have the baby, give it up for

adoption,

> > and

> > > slip back into town several months later and pretend that

nothing

> > > ever happened. "

> > >

> > > That's the sadness that we carry in our souls. It's the

> > > self-loathing that we try to hide, more from ourselves than for

> > > others. I most sincerely melt and weep for each of you, my dear

> > > friends, who have so bought into what society has taught us,

that

> > you

> > > are thus afflicted. I wish for you that you might find the

> > > acceptance of yourselves, whether your body happens to be FAT or

> > > " normal, " so that you never have to think about blending in

again.

> > >

> > > With great respect and caring,

> > >

> > > Steve

> > > --