Re: So confused

[Guest guest]

Hello Debra, I know there are many other posts but I just had to write to you. Your words are mine exactly! I have had 7 bouts with Hodgkins Lymphoma, done all the chemo, radiation, autologous transplant, bone marrow transplant and my PET is still a little lit. This Pulmonary Fibrosis to me feels like nothing I've ever dealt with before. With cancer I always felt there were more treatments, more I could do. This feeling of not knowing what to do, how to do it and if there is anything to do is scary. It is weird to say I'd rather have cancer than this but at least I know what to do with cancer, this is a whole new world and it isn't cut and dry, I find it very confusing, a lot of it sounds like symantics. It is hard to research stuff, thank goodness for this support group or else I'd still be in the dark. I guess we have to muster up some new weapons to fight this.

Dawn 43, Newtown Square, PA

PF from radiation 07/2008

To: Breathe-Support Sent: Fri, November 13, 2009 12:19:46 AMSubject: So confused

I've been looking at the posts on this site and I have to admit that some of the things I have read scare me. I haven't gotten on before because in a way I felt like this wasn't me and in all honesty I don't have a true diagnosis(I went to the ER on the 23rd and they found Pulmonary Nodules, the ER Dr. said it was Pulmonary Fibrosis). See now this is were the confusion comes in... the hospital called me to set up my appointment with the Pulmonary Clinic, but they wouldn't see me till I was seen by the Cancer Center. Had to get another CT scan (since the one from the ER was for back and abdominal pain, they saw my lungs on review, but the report was not for my lungs, so hence the 2nd CT scan...already feel the tail chasing). The results per the Dr @ the Cancer Center are that I have 4 nodules the largest being only 4mm's, to small to biopsy, nothing more to do except re-do CT scan in 6 months to see if it grows (he said that they usually re-do in a

year but since I have had 3 other cancers; cervical, throat and breast all w/i 19 years, I'm 49; they will scan me in 6 months). Now they are setting me up with the Pulmonary Clinic. There has been a lot going on already; this time last year I was on a Heart Monitor because I had heart palputations, nothing found there. Breathing study, okay for the most part... fatigue (sometimes I get so little sleep that it is hard to get up to go to work), shortness of breath, light headed, muscle aches, but the worst is the cough... it seems I cough ALL the time, it is very annoying... I get asked all the time if I'm okay... do I need a cough drop, water, you name it I've been asked.Okay,this last week has been hell... thinking OMG another CANCER...NO!But during my waiting for my Dr's appt I have been reading this sites notes and researching this dis-ease and I don't know which is the lesser, not that either is a good thing.I don't know what is

going to happen now. How does one really find out? What test do they do? For some stupid reason I think I could of handled a cancer diagnosis better than this dis-ease, maybe that's because I know what to expect and now I have no clue... I am sorry that this is so long... but there is so much going on in my head and they say to "let it out to get it out". I'm scared to talk to my family because I'm afraid they will see just how scared I am, they aren't used to that. They have only seen me fight and I'm afraid this is bigger than anything I have faced before.