To alflisa1

[Guest guest]

Hi & welcome!

I wanted to share with you that I have a 20 year old son that is a

heroine addict & will NOT go to any kind of treatment. Like your

husband, they will have to make the decision to get help from outside

resources. All you & I can do is be supportive but not enabling. I

left my son sleeping out on the porch with a couple of pillows &

blankets in 26 degree weather. If I let him into my home, he won't

leave unless I call the cops. And he drags his world in with him.

I don't think it's selfish of you to want things back the way they

were. Especially after only 7 months. Unfortunately, things never

stay the same no matter what. Marriage is meant to be through

sickness as well as health, & it's tough to get through the hard

times together. You're husband isn't the only one that's affected by

this illness. You're going through it with him. My marriage

crumbled, partly b/c of my illness. Please, don't let that happen to

you. (Heck, most of the time I can't even get along with myself,

much less another person.)

Regardless of whether or not your husband is an alcoholic isn't the

main point here. I think the big thing is that he just totally avoid

any alcohol, regardless of the reasons. I think a lot of people use

alcohol as a crutch. Like you mentioned he feels like he won't be

able to have as much fun without it. Maybe you can show him how much

fun life is without alcohol. Find the things that the two of you

enjoy doing together. There's so many things out there to do &

enjoy. In fact, I think alcohol actually takes away the joy of

living.

These are just my own thought & feelings. I'm not trying to tell you

what to do. I just want to make suggestions & I want you to know

that I understand what it's like to be in your shoes. With my son as

a heroine addict, & 4 years with my ex who is an alcoholic. There's

no magic solution, but I'm here if youever want to talk.

Hugs,

Deanna Tubb

New Mexico PAI Rep