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Re: Theresa

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--- tutumambo@... wrote:

> Hi my friends,

> It's been a long time since I got in touch with you,

> really since early June.

> I had a good summer, though it was quite a summer

> trying to keep up with my

> job (publish or perish type thing) and then having

> physical therapy three

> times a week and a minor surgery. I was away for a

> bit too.

> I am real low today, have done nothing but

> cry. I don't look too

> well, what with the prednisone and Arava and

> colchicine and synthroid and

> atenolol and a collapsed nose bridge and all the

> rest... As many of you know,

> prednisone gives us a moon face and lots of extra

> pounds. Well, the thing is

> my mother doesn't loose any opportunity to let me

> know that I've gained a lot

> of weight, that I have a big butt, that I am fat and

> all the rest. Some

> months ago I told her to stay off the subject that I

> felt bad enough about my

> appearance and asked her if she didn't realize that

> I was sick. She didn't

> mention my looks again until last week, when she

> started the whole thing over

> again. Today, when she phoned me, she eventually

> got around to remind me

> about my weight and my butt and I told her off. I

> asked her if she wasn't

> aware how much pain her comments cause me, if she

> wan't aware that I realize

> how I struggle with my looks, if she wasn't aware

> that I am sick and why

> didn't she tank God that I was alive, instead of

> berating me because I am not

> beautiful. It's an awful thing to say, but I hate

> my mother. At least, for

> today I do. How can people be so cruel?

> Thanks for being there. I think when people have

> cancer they get a lot of

> understanding, if they loose their hair, nobody goes

> around remarking on

> their appearance. But with this, people, including

> her, think it's an

> ailment, and that we are lazy gluttons. The

> isolation of this disease is

> something else.

> from Miami

>

>

Sorry you are struggling with these kinds of hurtful

comments. It must be especially hard when they are

coming from your mom!

I think part of the frustration (there are so many)

with this disease is that it is so invisible. Unless

someone sees your ears or nose flaring, they can't

begin to imagine all the pain/etc. that we experience

on a minute to minute basis. I can feel like death

warmed over and someone will tell me that I sure don't

look sick. My standard answer now is, " well looks are

deceiving, aren't they? "

Wish I could say something to make it better, but I

know that those words need to come from your mom.

Nice to have you posting again. Keep it up....we

understand, and we care!

Love, squeek

=====

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--- tutumambo@... wrote:

> Thank you Squeek! Your words and your message

> lifted me up, a bit. I

> figured you would understand, that maybe some of you

> have gone through

> similar experiences. It's good to have companions

> on this journey. Yes, I

> will keep up the postings.

> Love, and a big hug,

>

>

The best thing about this group is that they

understand...and care! I hope you are feeling lots

better today. You take care and have a wonderful

week, knowing that you are loved! Love, squeek

=====

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--- tutumambo@... wrote:

> Dear Squeek,

> Yes, I am doing much better and my week will be

> better cuz of you. Much love,

>

>

Thanks! squeek

=====

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