Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 Maggi, What an interesting post. Here's an idea, have the Adult-you nurture and comfort the scared-little-girl-you, much like a mom would, and tell her that she will be able to run and play and romp and enjoy life better than ever! And promise little Maggi that Big Maggi will protect and love her all the while. All of us women have at least a small piece of that scared little girl within us; but loving your inner child is so comforting once you learn how. You'll make the right decision. You'll go when the time is right for you. And you'll shine. I'll be looking for your post-op posts! (and little Maggi's, too.) PhillyJude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 Dear Rhonda, When you are free from the crippling memories of the past, please let us know so that we can all rejoice for and with you. So much abuse in so many people's history. Is there even one female in this country that reached adulthood without some form of sexual abuse? Seriously. I only know people who have had varying degrees of inappropriate attention or touching, from adults who should have been trustworthy. Where have we gone wrong? Why is there no safe haven for little girls? Why is there so much pain? And the most important question, and possibly the most frustrating, what can we, as adults, do about what we know is going on right now, at this moment, to precious children in our land? If there is anything Iwould love to eliminate, or at least affect, it would be this. Little precious children, boys and girls, being thusly abused. It brings a sadness to me that is hard to describe. So wide, so high and so deep. Rhonda, you hang in there and gt the good life you deserve, want and need. We are all supporting you with our love and energy. Let nothing deter your efforts. So fondly, and for so many, PhillyJude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 Trude. The answer to everyone of your questions is resounding off of these walls as I yell it to the top of my lungs. Yes. Oh yes. OH HELL YES! PJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 Hey Maggi, you wouldn't be a Libra too would you? I know us Libra's have a hard time making decisions too. we weigh everything out about a zillion times and then make the decision our selves with lots of input from everyone.. thats all you need to do. Good luck! Trudy Struggling Hey, folks. I'm really struggling with all of this. The adult in me REALLY wants this surgery and knows that it is the best thing to do. The kid is afraid of being skinny. Wanton woman and all that mess -- I was sexually abused as an adolescent. Been in therapy for 7 years, so the adult (and my therapist) know that I can handle issues as they come up, but the kid is SCARED. I also keep vacilating about a date for the clinic and for the surgery. At first I was going to go to a clinic and then go home and think about it for awhile and have the surgery later. I think I still will do that. At first I was going to have the surgery around Thanksgiving. Then I decided that I would watch my new MGB friends, and , and have the surgery in January (also have a lot going on at work). Now I'm gettin' jealous cause they are having the surgery now and I don't want to be left behind. So, I've decided to schedule an October 24 clinic, and then play it by ear from there. Plus, I just realized that I don't want to go to the clinic by myself. Carol (from Columbus), if you want to drive to Atlanta for the October 24th clinic, then we could drive up and go together. I was going to drive up on Monday, go to clinic on Tuesday morning, and drive home on Tuesday afternoon. Just a thought. I HATE MAKING DECISIONS LIKE THIS. I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER. Anxiously awaiting your thoughts, Maggi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 Maggi, I TOTALLY relate to what you're going through. I had a very similar situation. If you'd like to chat, email me privately, or call me at 703/876-9889. I had surgery 5/22/00 and I have not regretted it for a minute. Blessings, Amy. _____________________________________________ Amy S. Poe MGB 5/22/2000 280 * 215 * 140 READ MY STORY ONLINE: http://onhealth.webmd.com/women/in-depth/item/item%2C91744_1_1.asp Struggling Hey, folks. I'm really struggling with all of this. The adult in me REALLY wants this surgery and knows that it is the best thing to do. The kid is afraid of being skinny. Wanton woman and all that mess -- I was sexually abused as an adolescent. Been in therapy for 7 years, so the adult (and my therapist) know that I can handle issues as they come up, but the kid is SCARED. I also keep vacilating about a date for the clinic and for the surgery. At first I was going to go to a clinic and then go home and think about it for awhile and have the surgery later. I think I still will do that. At first I was going to have the surgery around Thanksgiving. Then I decided that I would watch my new MGB friends, and , and have the surgery in January (also have a lot going on at work). Now I'm gettin' jealous cause they are having the surgery now and I don't want to be left behind. So, I've decided to schedule an October 24 clinic, and then play it by ear from there. Plus, I just realized that I don't want to go to the clinic by myself. Carol (from Columbus), if you want to drive to Atlanta for the October 24th clinic, then we could drive up and go together. I was going to drive up on Monday, go to clinic on Tuesday morning, and drive home on Tuesday afternoon. Just a thought. I HATE MAKING DECISIONS LIKE THIS. I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER. Anxiously awaiting your thoughts, Maggi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 > Hey, folks. I'm really struggling with all of this. The adult in me REALLY wants this surgery and knows that it is the best thing to do. The kid is afraid of being skinny. Wanton woman and all that mess -- I was sexually abused as an adolescent. Been in therapy for 7 years, so the adult (and my therapist) know that I can handle issues as they come up, but the kid is SCARED. Anxiously awaiting your thoughts, > Maggi Maggi, That is a post I have really been surprised I have not seen yet. I thank you for having the courage to put into words what I have wanted to post for a long time, but have not had the courage to do so. I also was sexually molested as a child. I have been going to counseling off and on for quite some time. There is lots of gaps in my childhood that I just don't remember. I don't remember what age I was when the molesting started or stopped. I don't remember very much detail, I just know it happened. I have flashbacks about things happening, but it is always real scattered and I can't put much together. My therapists has been working with me this time for about a year now. I kept quitting because I didn't want to deal with things and I have never told anyone in my family. For a long time, I thought I would have to tell them to be able to heal. I don't know that I will ever tell my family. Especially my parents. I'm 44 now so I don't see that telling my family will change anything except cause problems. My problem as far as surgery goes is my mind has told me that all the weight has served a good purpose and I am real afraid to have that taken away. So, what I am saying Maggi is that I think I know where you are coming from at least a little. If you ever want to talk about it you can e-mail me privately. I will share at more depth the things I have struggled with. My e-mail adress is Rhonda. @rrd.com (no spaces). I have finally come to the decision that I don't want to live like this any longer and I am now willing to work through whatever comes up from me losing the weight as far as the sexual abuse issues go. My abuser has ruled my life long enough. My thoughts will be with you. Bonded by our experience, strength and love Rhonda from Indiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 Rhonda, thanx for sharing something so private, too. You know you don't have to be abused to hide in your fat. My sense of humor hid me real well, I made fun of myself (and still do) so that if anyone laughed I was in control. Now, if I loose weight, will I still be funny, how will I hide? Without my good sense of humor will everyone still like me? See, we all struggled on making this decision, you have to decide whats more important I guess, whether everyone else will like you, or whether you will like yourself.. We all need to quit hiding . Trudy... your companion in heart. Re: Struggling > Hey, folks. I'm really struggling with all of this. The adult in me REALLY wants this surgery and knows that it is the best thing to do. The kid is afraid of being skinny. Wanton woman and all that mess -- I was sexually abused as an adolescent. Been in therapy for 7 years, so the adult (and my therapist) know that I can handle issues as they come up, but the kid is SCARED. Anxiously awaiting your thoughts, > Maggi Maggi, That is a post I have really been surprised I have not seen yet. I thank you for having the courage to put into words what I have wanted to post for a long time, but have not had the courage to do so. I also was sexually molested as a child. I have been going to counseling off and on for quite some time. There is lots of gaps in my childhood that I just don't remember. I don't remember what age I was when the molesting started or stopped. I don't remember very much detail, I just know it happened. I have flashbacks about things happening, but it is always real scattered and I can't put much together. My therapists has been working with me this time for about a year now. I kept quitting because I didn't want to deal with things and I have never told anyone in my family. For a long time, I thought I would have to tell them to be able to heal. I don't know that I will ever tell my family. Especially my parents. I'm 44 now so I don't see that telling my family will change anything except cause problems. My problem as far as surgery goes is my mind has told me that all the weight has served a good purpose and I am real afraid to have that taken away. So, what I am saying Maggi is that I think I know where you are coming from at least a little. If you ever want to talk about it you can e-mail me privately. I will share at more depth the things I have struggled with. My e-mail adress is Rhonda. @rrd.com (no spaces). I have finally come to the decision that I don't want to live like this any longer and I am now willing to work through whatever comes up from me losing the weight as far as the sexual abuse issues go. My abuser has ruled my life long enough. My thoughts will be with you. Bonded by our experience, strength and love Rhonda from Indiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 Dear Maggi and Rhonda, Let me assure you that what you are experiencing has happened to a lot of people. Most people just don't talk about it. I was also molested as a child and I think my fat became a security blanket for me and the food comforted me. You don't have to deal with a lot of issues because the fat keeps you " protected " from a lot of reality. The deciding point for me was my physical health. Therapy can help the mental pain you experience but the physical aspect of your health needs to be dealt with differently. I tried and failed to get rid of my excess weight. I knew that I needed help. I got that help from Dr. R and now I no longer fear death from heart disease and diabetes. I had choices......I feel I made the right choice for me. My inner child may still be scared from time to time but I know the adult is going to live a longer, healthier life because I did something that was good for me. Now it feels good to have men notice me and " hit " on me. I have a loving husband and supportive family and friends. Every time my ego gets a boost, I tell them all about it. I am now in my " ME " phase of my life and I am loving it. Get rid of the old ghosts and learn to love yourself. Don't let the molester in your life have any more power over you!!!!!!!! You are the one that hands out the power that controls your life. Use that power to help free yourself and improve your health. Show that molester that you are independent and in total control of your own life in spite of what they did to harm you. Spit in their face and smile all the way to a healthy you!! I promise you won't regret it. Love, Genz ( Genzel in Fort Worth, Texas) MGB 5-31-00 249/ 197 52 pounds and 73 inches gone in 4 months!!!!!!! Rhonda C wrote: > > > Hey, folks. I'm really struggling with all of this. The adult in > me REALLY wants this surgery and knows that it is the best thing to > do. The kid is afraid of being skinny. Wanton woman and all that > mess -- I was sexually abused as an adolescent. Been in therapy for 7 > years, so the adult (and my therapist) know that I can handle issues > as they come up, but the kid is SCARED. > > Anxiously awaiting your thoughts, > > Maggi > > Maggi, > > That is a post I have really been surprised I have not seen yet. I > thank you for having the courage to put into words what I have wanted > to post for a long time, but have not had the courage to do so. I > also was sexually molested as a child. I have been going to > counseling off and on for quite some time. There is lots of gaps in > my childhood that I just don't remember. I don't remember what age I > was when the molesting started or stopped. I don't remember very > much detail, I just know it happened. I have flashbacks about things > happening, but it is always real scattered and I can't put much > together. My therapists has been working with me this time for about > a year now. I kept quitting because I didn't want to deal with > things and I have never told anyone in my family. For a long time, I > thought I would have to tell them to be able to heal. I don't know > that I will ever tell my family. Especially my parents. I'm 44 now > so I don't see that telling my family will change anything except > cause problems. My problem as far as surgery goes is my mind has > told me that all the weight has served a good purpose and I am real > afraid to have that taken away. So, what I am saying Maggi is that I > think I know where you are coming from at least a little. If you > ever want to talk about it you can e-mail me privately. I will share > at more depth the things I have struggled with. My e-mail adress is > Rhonda. @rrd.com (no spaces). > > I have finally come to the decision that I don't want to live like > this any longer and I am now willing to work through whatever comes > up from me losing the weight as far as the sexual abuse issues go. > My abuser has ruled my life long enough. My thoughts will be with > you. > > Bonded by our experience, strength and love > > Rhonda from Indiana > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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