Fwd: Tuesday 07/30/02 How TRUE

[Guest guest]

Simetimes I wish I lived in an earlier life: simple life style, knew my neighbors and where values were held alot higher then they are now. ENJOY.

Love ya

Sally

An optimist is a guy that never has had much experience.

- Don Marquis

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-One evening a grandson was talking to his

grandfather about current events. The grandson asked

his grandfather what he thought about the shootings

at schools, the computer age, and just things in

general.

The granddad replied, " Well, let me think a

minute, I was born, before television, penicillin,

polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses,

Frisbees and the pill.

There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or

ball-point pens.

Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners,

dishwashers, clothes dryers, and the clothes were

hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet

walked on the moon.

Your grandmother and I got married first-and then

lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than I,

'Sir'-and after I turned 25, I still called

policemen and every man

with a title,'Sir.'

We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual

careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments,

good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to

know the difference between right and wrong and to

stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in

this country was a bigger privilege. We thought

fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting

along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front

doors when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together

in the evenings and weekends not purchasing

condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs,

electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing

earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny,

and the President's speeches on our radios.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his

brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it

was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you

did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, Mc's, and

instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 & 10 cent stores where you could actually

buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones,

phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were

all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge,

you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail

1 letter and 2 postcards .

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 but who

could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents

a gallon. In my day, 'grass' was mowed, 'coke' was

a cold drink, 'pot' was something your mother cooked

in, and 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby.

'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office,

'chip' meant a piece of wood, 'hardware'

was found in a hardware store, and 'software'

wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually

believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.

No wonder people call us " old and confused " and say

there is a generation gap.

....and how old do you think I am ???. See bottom of the page

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Today, I celebrate the 72nd year of my birth. Dex

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Top 8 Morons of 2001

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT & T FIRED President Walter after nine months, saying he lacked

intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.

Perhaps

it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a

gunman

who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas

canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in

the

police line, shouting " Please come out and give yourself up. "

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and

forced

him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the

kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the

money in

the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the

store

clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed

up

and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just

couldn't

control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the

lineup

to repeat the words, " Give me all your money or I'll shoot, " the man

shouted,

" That's not what I said! "

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, " My wife is pregnant and her

contractions are only two minutes apart! " " Is this her first child? " the

doctor asked. " No! " , the man shouted, " This is her husband! " .

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, King was arrested for trying to

hold

up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a

finger

to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his

pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour

east

of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a

problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand

new 22

ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter

how

much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go,

they

putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what

was

wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working

condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, the prop

was

the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the

water to

check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

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This man would be only 58 years old!